“Only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core into the other person without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without creating “the other,” reducing the other into a thing, and without becoming addicted with the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” Osho [thanks to Robert Gray for sharing]”

Add yours Comments – 33

  • OmarDZ

    on October 6, 2011 at 8:26 am

    nice words

  • Jon Mills

    on October 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    No, it’s very true.

    I once heard someone say ” If you can’t say NO in a relationship, are you really saying YES?”

    Point being…

    Are you so relying on them that you lose sight of who you are and minimize who you are?

    Most relationships can become very needy, because their is an exaggeration of what the other one is in the relationship ( similarities ) which initially comes out of infatuation when people first meet.

    Over time of being with that person we begin to notice the differences and most of the time that can lead to resentment which is an exaggeration of differences ( why are they not the way I am, why are they not like the way they were when I first met them or saw them? why do the do that… they should do this, why don’t they think.. etc etc etc ) and we project our unrealistic expectations on them. We begin to notice all the differences and are blind to the similarities which is basically the reverse when we first meet someone that tickles our fancy, so to speak… 🙂

    Love equally embraces both ( the similarities and the differences )

    Essentially we place people on pedestals when we meet them and then when we discover they don’t live up to our fantasy, our values and our expectations we place them in the pit.

    Yet nobody deserves to placed in either.

    I once said to a girl

    ” I don’t need you, but I choose you”

    It didn’t mean they were a dime a dozen and I can choose anyone, it just meant I’m whole with you and without you….. but I choose you because you are the one I love.

    I think the most incredible relationships and usually the ones that last… are the ones where we allow the other the freedom to be themselves, the ones where we don’t hold so tight, the ones which have moved from fantasy to fulfillment.

    Where we let go of the idea that loved ones don’t have flaws, that they don’t have their days where their a pain in the ass.

    Yet to get there, I really believe it boils down to loving oneself ( not in a psychotic, egotistical way) but accepting yourself.

    Accepting that you are lovable, you are whole… with or without another.

    Accepting another as being whole with all their flaws

    As for being alone…

    There is a big difference between being alone and loneliness

    A person can sleep beside someone, live with someone and feel very lonely, but they are never alone even if they have no one to sleep beside or live with.

    It just requires a shift in perspective.

    Any hooo. Enjoyable post.

  • Criss Blue

    on October 6, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    so working on it..I’ll get it ..thanks 4 this space!

  • Frost

    on October 6, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Beautiful. If you depend completely on someone how will you ever cope when they are gone? Jon Mills is so right- I’d much rather be chosen than needed.

  • becky

    on October 6, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    I adore this and plan to make this my new mantra! Thank you so much sharing this spectacular quote with us:)

  • Tiago Bacelar

    on October 6, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    Allison,
    I think the same. Great words.

  • Ciccioriccioa

    on October 7, 2011 at 10:41 am

    hi Chloe

  • pandigila

    on October 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm

    why the bubble is round..

  • Beth

    on October 9, 2011 at 6:24 am

    Very very true. I learned that the hard way. Spent way too much time missing a friend before I re-learned that I am still my own person.

  • 3tesla

    on October 9, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    How can we support others without possessing them? Perhaps by securely yet gently cupping our spiritual hands underneath them, not tightly closing our hands around them.

  • Bouroux

    on October 15, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    It’s very true, there are no love if we are not able to respect the others. The respect of the others begin by the respect of myself. We love others for who they are and not what we would like them to be.
    Allison, gives us news about your future projects, your fans are starting to be a preoccupation not to see you involved in film projects or theater.Your fans and your fansites cant wait to see on the screens your smile and your amazing facial expressions that make each of your attendance is experience that gives us pleasure.

    • 3tesla

      on October 15, 2011 at 9:46 pm

      > Allison, gives us news about your future projects

      Even though the chances of my having the time/money to fly to The States to take in a show, it would still be cool to hear about Allison’s next dramatic project.

  • Gregorio

    on December 20, 2013 at 10:53 am

    That wonderful words.

  • Linar

    on January 14, 2014 at 10:33 am

    Hello! I’m your most devoted fan! Please,send me your autograph! I really want to recieve it!

    My adress:
    Russian Federation
    450098 Ufa
    Bul’var Tyul’kina str. 7/3-16
    My name is Linar Akhmetianov

  • Luis Carrazco

    on January 14, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    tienes razon

  • abhishek

    on January 18, 2014 at 2:51 am

    I’ve just started watching smallville and i think your character rocks !

  • hector figueroa

    on January 31, 2014 at 10:47 am

    muy lindas palabras y tambien muy ciertas
    pd:you are good allison

  • Ricky Heitmann

    on February 27, 2014 at 6:25 am

    Hello Allison i am an older fan of smallville and now i am wondering what you are doing now i do not know if you really read this stuff but if so i was wondering if you could just drop a form letter to me and let me know what you are up to ,I would never aske for a letter writen by you because i do know you have a busy life ,but as i say i would just like to know what you are up to and if we will see you in something up coming. One of your fans Ricky H.

  • James Munson

    on March 3, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    I’ve been a big fan for many years and I really miss not seeing you on the air. And I was wondering if I could ask for an autographed picture? I would really appreciate it as one of your big fans here is my address. James Munson 23539 aviva st. Clinton twp mi 48035. I really think you’re something special and I would greatly appreciate the gesture on your part thanking you in advance for any cooperation. Sincerely James

  • Eman

    on April 4, 2014 at 10:00 am

    Brilliant! *.*

  • Joe Rossu

    on April 4, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Is there any way to get an autograph? 🙂

  • mikey

    on May 25, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    Will you marry me?

  • Lorenza Cicero

    on May 27, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    I love U so much ^_^ !!

  • Lorenza Cicero

    on May 27, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    Nice to met you in Twitter 🙂 I’m here now… good day!

  • stacy roe

    on June 7, 2014 at 9:48 am

    I adore you both as chloe sullivan, marlise and for your work off screen. you have inspired me, given me hope and strength. I’m so glad that the gift that is you was given onto this world, this world wouldn’t be the same without you. oh and if you ever have self esteem problems just remember, a few years ago i had a psychotic break and it was a hallucination of chloe sullivan that rained me in. so remember by playing chloe sullivan you have stopped a person from going psycho and saved many lives as a result. you are my hero. so thank you for being you.
    your devoted fan,
    stacy roe.

  • abibakri

    on June 8, 2014 at 11:12 am

    Only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of
    sharing, of going into the deepest core into the other person without
    possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without
    creating “the other,” reducing the other into a thing, and without
    becoming addicted with the other. They allow the other absolute freedom,
    because they know if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they
    are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not
    given by the other.” Osho [thanks to Robert Gray for sharing]” nice quote u got there chloe sullivan thats the movie, and am a fan too

  • Stefan Wasilewski

    on June 16, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    you made my teenage years apena worth much with Brazil loves you eternal smallville chloe

  • Kevin Hall

    on June 19, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    I got your message on Twitter, but it said I couldn’t message you directly, as you don’t follow me. What are you doing theses days?

  • cedric dumange

    on July 29, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    J adore ce site et je suis fan

  • RJ Jr

    on July 29, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Hello, I messaged you on Facebook. I was wondering if you are making any public appearances soon. I need to complete a project that took over 10 years to achieve. I have the entire cast and I just need your signature (and Tom Welling). Thank you for your time.

  • RJ Jr

    on July 29, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    Happy Birthday!!!!

  • terry cox

    on September 25, 2014 at 11:41 am

    i love the show and i also love the LADYS of SMALLVILLE.
    you are the best looking or them all.

  • Rodion Zakharov

    on November 7, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    Hi, Allison!

    My name is Rodion. I am an admirer of your creativity from Russia. My acquaintance with
    your creativity begins from “Smallville”. In Your character Chloe I
    immediately fell in love. I will not lie, you were great! Thank you for your
    dedication, talent, and for the huge amount of positive emotions. I’m sure
    you’re gorgeous man in life. Friends and relatives should be proud of you.

    I have an old dream. I very much want to get your autograph. It would have been priceless
    to me. Memory for my whole life! Unfortunately you are very far away and I am
    experiencing financial difficulties. I can not send a letter in the hope of
    getting your autograph. This letter I am writing in the hope that you will read
    it and my dream come true. Thank you for what you motivate and inspire me. I am
    glad that there is such a talent like you!

    I believe and look forward to your reply. I hope for a miracle! With a big and pure love
    from Russia!

    Sincerely, Rodion