Violent Tendencies

An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.
by Gandhi
There are many more pleasant things to do than beating someone up.”
by Muhammad Ali

When searching for a quote, I have started the habit of deciding what to write by what seems to be relevant to what is going on for me that week. It has kind of been a cool way to get my ideas and thoughts out on a page and also bounce the thoughts I have floating in my head off a number of different people from a number of different places and backgrounds.

So far this has been a beautiful experiment, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all the responses everyone is posting on this site. It really is such an amazing way for me to get to know all my fans and also get to know myself in the process. So, that being said, I have had many conversations with different friends this week about violence and what that is. I thought these quotes were in keeping with this because it is a great way of looking at what violent reactions and thoughts can end up doing to the world at large. Now, my opinion of violence has changed drastically in the last little bit. I used to think that it was a solely physical act; that the word only encompassed those acts that caused physical harm or destruction, but as I began to think about it a little more, I really started to recognize how destructive words can be. Sometimes, even more destructive than a punch. It was after this recognition that I really saw how violent I can be in the way I live my life… Not always so much towards other people, but so more so towards myself. I allow my insecurities to dictate the things I do in my life. I am constantly berating myself for not being “enough” of what I think I would be. I suppress the things within me that I think are “bad” and then spend my time and energy punishing myself for even having these flaws in the first place.

I feel like these habits are incredibly destructive and violent towards my own growth and potential. They essentially ruin my ability to enjoy my present life and situations. Now, if this isn’t violent, I don’t know what is.

The really incredible part about this discovery is that I can only treat people the way I treat myself. And I will never have the capacity to be the compassionate and loving person I want to be in the world if I can’t ever be that for myself. It is this strange reality that I am seeing, the truth that everything I do and see in the external world is simply a direct reflection of what is going on within me and my own little head…. And so I struggle to find inner compassion, to tame that violent dictator that consumes my thoughts. Maybe, if I can tame my destructive self, I will be closer to attaining my goal of being a kind, honest, and loving person. I really wonder what would happen on a global scale if more people would stop the abusive behavior they inflict upon themselves and actually began living with compassion for their own flaws, embracing them and accepting them as part of the beauty of what it means to be human.

No more real exciting Smallville news, other than I heard a rumor that the finale script was leaked, and everyone has very strong opinions regarding “the green tear.” Don’t worry guys, it will be cool… I won’t let you down :)

Look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas! Bye for this week.

← Older Comments
  • http://www.allisonmack.com kpratt1973

    Allison,

    I am a big fan of yours, you have done a terrific job with your character Chloe on Smallville. I’ve been trying to figure out how to comment on your blog page that I cannot figure it out. You click on comments and it does not bring you to the page where you can post comments. Allison on very curious to know if your character gets killed off at the end of season six? I sincerely hope not you have grown as an actress in your character has grown immensely over the last six years. There is a lot of speculation that the seed of your network wants to end Smallville by the end of season eight, if it is true I sincerely hope that they end the series the right way.

    I strongly believe that they should introduce Clark’s cousin in season seven, I believe it would make a nice dynamic for your character and Martha Kent’s character as well. I really hope that I do see you in season seven you have done a fantastic job. By the way my name is Kevin and I live in Connecticut and I’ve been a big fan of Smallville since day one. Keep up the good work. And have a great summer. Respectfully yours Kevin

  • Carol

    Hi! I just loved the weblog! It’s really cool what you’re doing, telling your fans somethings about you and trying to know them too. I just find it really cool. :D I love Chloe.She’s so funny and smart! Anyway, I love your job. Have a very nice week! Kissess of your brazilian fan ;D

  • Heath Brady

    I have actually been exploring this topic myself. I would like to pose a different theory on solving hate.

    We hear, “you can’t love others until you love yourself” all of the time. I am starting to think that the opposite is true. Think with me if you will…
    In our culture, as twisted as this is, we are all affected by the way others view us. We all in one way or another starve for positive affirmation from others; and whether or not we get it defines the view of ourselves. I suggest that maybe what we need to do as a society, starting with mere attitudes and then moving to words and actions, is to truly adopt The Golden Rule.
    Let us really sacrificially “…do unto others as we would have done unto us…” What that means to me is that we MUST begin finding the positive in others and praising that in them! Have you ever noticed the complete shift of muscles in a person’s face when you compliment them? For that one, brief moment in life you have made them view themselves positively. Now imagine if over the course of many years of doing this, what the level of peer pressure, fighting and violence in our culture would look like!
    We would no longer be a world in need of Superheroes, but rather a shining star in the universe!

  • http://www.allisonmack.com whiteboyinsac19

    hello everyone…
    this is a very “interesting” subject it would seem, from what everyone is saying about it. the first thing you have to understand is that there is no such thing as perfection. and the sooner people understand this, the sooner our world will start improving. from the instance you concern yourself with perfection then the bar for success becomes unreachable and it gives the world an obscured view of how it should be. which gets me to my point; the individual is responsible for societies view on how individuals should be. if that makes any sense. im pretty tanked right now. i guess what im trying to say is live life for the moment. dont be overly concerned about everyone else, and dont abuse yourself if you gain 5 pounds or have a bad hair day or something. do what you want when you want as long as it doesnt influence the life of another person.

    well i guess im done ranting for the night. allison, love you in smallville and on 7th heaven. the music on this site is cool but for those who read this and get something from it listen to a band called “social distortion”. there all about equal rights, peace and living for the day. mike ness says hell drink with anyone, long as they got something to drink.

  • http://www.allisonmack.com whiteboyinsac19

    hello again

    i dont usually write twice about the same subject but i was reading another response and read something disturbing. i mean it shocked me. another blog-er who im not going to call out, compared the effects of a self-abusive parent on their children to a celebrity suicide. first if the parent was doing their job, the child wouldnt look at a celebrity suicide and believe it was acceptable or get depressed over it. its ok to be sad when someone you admire dies but your list of role-models should always have your parents at the top.

    again, live life for the day and stop caring about what others think.

  • Gordon

    Woah. So this is Allison’s blog. Cool! Well, just to let you know, this comes all the way from Singapore! Go Smallville!

  • http://www.allisonmack.com Vladimir

    бУ!

  • Aline

    Hello Allison
    I have just fallen on your official site comprising a blog.
    It is very original coming from a popular actress! My English is not very good and I intend to read all your articles by helping me of a translator.
    Good continuation!
    Aline a french fan !!!!

  • http://www.someguy.blogg.se SomeGuy

    Hey Allison. Before i say anything i was wondering if you could say Happy Birthday to Tom Welling for me? It’s my birthday the 26/4 same as him so if you could do that i would appreciate it :D

    And i write the same stuff in my blog. You know that people are more afraid of themselves than anything else? Well just wanted to say good luck with everything gotta go now :) Cya later.

  • Susan

    Hey Allison,
    I already posted a comment above Re: Violent Tendencies but wanted to say that last Thursdays episode of Progeny was awesome,I loved it. I loved the part when Chloe hit Lex and took his flash drive holding it up saying “thanks Lex” I loved the look on your face. I just read on Kryptonsite.com that Tom has sighned with the show to do 8 seasons I hope you do too. :)

    I wish you would make a section on you page with Fun Facts about you. I’ve read some thing on other websites but don’t know if they are true. Things like How tall you really are,hair and eye color,whats your middle name,favorite color,favorite food,favorite beverage,favorite book,favorite movie,favorite tv show,what you like to do when your not working,how many tattoos your have and what are they of,how many piercings you have. You know Real facts about the Great Allion Mack :)

    Your website is awesome and I thinks it’s great you take the time to interact with all your fans like this,most celebrity’s don’t really care about their fans but you do. Take Care :)

  • William Bridge

    I read this and couldn’t help but post my thoughts on this. I got out of the Marine Corps a year and a half ago, confident that I could take any abuse, physical or mental that came my way. I am a proud person and despite my military career I am quite peaceful and love to talk with people. The last thing I ever expected was one of my military buddies telling me I would not make it in college (which is what I told them I was doing) This struck a blow that I really didn’t see coming. As I entered college, that phrase (You’re not going to make it) kept coming forward in my mind and soon I realized that such a negative comment made months prior was really hurting my feelings. Soon however, I received my mid term grades and realized I was making the Deans list! My teacher told me that with my military experience (hard work, determination, and not being afraid to ask questions in class) made me a better person. Now imagine if I had let that comment really get me down!

    So, I know what effects negative comments have on people. Currently I am a Criminal Justice Major, graduating this May 2007 with honors as a Phi Thetta Kappa member and I am a Student Tutor, helping people by telling them “You can do it!” Because, every once in a while I remember those terrible words that everyone says “You can’t do it!” “You’re not going to make it!” etc. Remember: Being positive is such an effective tool!

  • Julian

    Congadulations for the website Allison. I just checked it out and it looks really cool, definitely original and very diffrent from the usual sites you see today. i need to apologize for not havingthe time to read the blog and comment on it (something i promise to do at a later time), but i just wanted to say that you have a very solid fanbase here in Albania, and I’m personally looking forward to see more of your work and hope they are just as successful as Smallville is here and Chloe Sullivan.

  • http://www.allisonmack.com Xandraius

    Allison -

    As to the external violence of things, my favorite quote is from Assimov’s “Foundation” series – ‘Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent’

    As to yourself and your own inner self-critical nature… try softer, not harder. That chunk of gray matter between your ears is NOT your friend sometimes. This feeling of “not enough”… what scale are you measuring this on? Against what criteria or benchmark do you weigh yourself? Holding yourself up to a standard is good, but if you are going to do so, what are you basing this on?

    Be well and enjoy the post season downtime when it comes.

  • http://www.vluvanita.net Prerna

    Hey Allison, love you forever,

    I read your weblogs every week, and am amazed at all the thought-provoking words that you and a lot of people churn out.

    What can I say, I know about self-destruction and inflicting pain, we are probably best buddies. I think a lot has to do with our upbringing; when we grow up with violent behaviour around us whether it is domestic violence or bombing innocent people in distant lands, it becomes normalized. If “they” can do it, why can’t “we”? Obviously, breaking out of this cycle of violence is difficult, but the realization comes first and with that a sense of responsibility that change starts with us.

    So another Gandhi quote to end this short comment, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”

    Love, Prerna (it means inspiration in Hindi)

  • http://www.allisonmack.com Lomab

    Hi Allison !

    (I’m french, so I apologize in advance for my english.)

    First of all, thank you for share your “week thoughts” with us, that’s great, and really nice to you !

    I’m not gonna tell a lot about the quotes of the week, except that, I agree with what I’ve understand.

    About Progeny … That was a chance I had some chocolate, for comfort me after the last scene with Chloe and her mother ! I loved the episode, and I think you’ve made a great job on it ! So, well … Congratulations ! :)

  • http://justtiff.zip.net Tiff

    Oi Alisson.Desculpe pelo portugues, eu to muito empolgada, nao deu tempo de traduzir…
    Eu achei seu blog muito interessante, suas ideias sao fantasticas e voce tem uma opiniao muito forte.
    Agora, babando um pouquinho…
    Eu te acho o maximo!!!
    Voce é maravilhosa!
    Te amo!I love you!
    Voce é incrivel!!!!

  • LucianaBrazil

    Olá Allison

    É Incrivél que artistas, celebridades como você, se preocupam com realidade externa.
    Adorei saber que nesse mundo existem pessoas raras, e brilhantes como você.
    O Brasil também te ama.
    Beijos Luciana, Julia e Junior

  • Cristiane Furtado

    I wait that you he reads this… hehe
    sorry the rudimentary English (me tarzan, you jane…).
    I am a great fan of you .
    I live here in Brazil and I follow its work to a great time.
    I loved this blog, it is good for knowing as you have a strong opinion, you she is really wonderful!!
    A great kiss, either very happy!

  • Cristiane Furtado

    I wait that you he reads this… hehe
    sorry the rudimentary English (me tarzan, you jane…).
    I am a great fan of you .
    I live here in Brazil and I follow its work to a great time.
    I loved this blog, it is good for knowing as you have a strong opinion, you she is really wonderful!!
    A great kiss, either very happy!
    Você é linda!You are beautiful!

  • http://www.smallville.com.ar Pzzlno

    Violence. Are we concius of the meaning of this word? I agree with you about the powers of the words. Sometimes when wo don’t have a good day, we tend to say things in a bad way or in a bad moment. I have a phrase that reminds me to stay in silence in some moments:
    “Si vas a decir algo, procura que tus palabras sean mejores que tu silencio” (If you are going to say something, make sure that your words are better than your silence).

    Great topic, great thoughs

    Pzzlno – http://www.Smallville.com.ar

  • mélanie

    I am late i’m sorry. I don’t know what say besides I still don’t know. I think that physical and moral violence is unjust. I remember last year at the school one my friend was made insult without reason and the boy continuing to insult.I was furious and i caught him at the throat fortunately I can control myself and I have let it leave but I have to realize I can become violent. I am against any form of violence but I regret my gesture.we have all a part of violence in we but we owe control her.peace and love for all. mélanie from france. sorry for my bad english

  • Rosimeire Dalat

    It forgives for not saying the English so well. I am happy in knowing that in some way I can say you how many times I am imprisoned to the TV to see it in action. He is simply wonderful and it leaves me with a little of envy. how many pretty and perfect men! Congratulations! you she is an excellent actress. Desire that you has a perfect end, of preference, to the side of the Clark. Kisses

  • amarie

    Thank you again for your gift of time to us.
    One’s mouth should be handled the same as one would a power tool; carefully. There were a few other safety rules about how to handle one’s mouth that I’ve forgotten over the years and even the “carefully” part has become so vague.
    I think insecurities lie within everyone; in different forms and to different depths and there is that combination of what is learned and programmed regarding right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, need vs. want that is going to effect how *we* deal with ourselves, our choices and the consequences from those choices. I personally, torment myself when I make a bad choice – even when it’s one I didn’t think was bad…..at that time.
    I have more angry conversations with myself than I would ever communicate – and a lot of those conversations should really be with the person I’m angry with – ah, but I have fear of abandonment issues and self confidence issues which brings me into a whole other conversation with myself that generally leads to my control issues.
    It’s amazing what words in all forms, even unspoken – can do to people, to us and to relationships. They can be like bricks – either the stable foundation ones, or the ones that build the walls.

  • http://www.allisonmack.com alyssuhhgly

    I, myself, feel that this entry you wrote is a topic that is needed to be discussed much more.

    Violence in every way is terrible. But being violent towards yourself, whether it be emotionally, or physically, is becoming more and more of an issue in the world.

    For years, I have struggled with both the physical and emotional aspects of being violent toward myself-and I am no where close to changing my habits. It becomes routine, and becomes an addiction you really can’t stop. And to be honest, I’m not sure I want to stop-for I believe I deserve all the pain anyone, or myself can bring upon me. It’s hard to live when you hate yourself so much- it’s hard to get ready in the morning-because as soon as you look in the mirror, you know that all you will do is stand there, looking in the mirror for hours, reciting all the imperfections you have, and things you hate about yourself. I do it constantly, and I don’t think I will ever stop.

    Self-esteem is a huge thing among any human being-some peoples being a bigger problem than others. But everyone deals with it, in everywhere from minimal, to very extreme cases. But it’s always so nice to hear from people you look up to, to know that they struggle too. Even though you don’t want them to, you feel a sense of relief rush over you, and think “maybe this person i look up to so much can help me, because they actually know what i’m going through”

    and that’s what you have done for me.

    I love you, and you’re wonderful.
    And although everyone has imperfections, and has some things they don’t like about themselves, you, should love yourself. You are beautiful, and sweet, and kind, and in the simplest possible form of a word: amazing. And to a good amount of us, if not every single on of us, that’s how we will always see you.

    Thank you, for being you.

    Peace,
    Light,
    And so much love,
    Alyssa.

  • AaronC

    I once had someone tell me, “Don’t fall into the tryanny of comparing yourself with others.”

    I contemplated on that statement, and realized that I wasn’t 100% sure I knew what tryanny meant, so I looked it up.

    A tryannical rule is when a nation takes over another nation forcing it become part of the conquering country.

    So I thought about in terms of the statement that was made, if I begin to compare myself with others —- in other words compare my failures and successes to my failures and successes for the prime purpose of either becoming like them, or not becoming like them. I begin to become somebody who I am not, and that somebody takes over and forces the real me to come into subjection causing a lot of stress and anxiety. Of course this manifests differently with different people for me it manifested in both Anger and Health Issues. I believe this the true definition of “beating oneself up”

    My solution was to stop comparing myself with others. To know that I who I am, and I am on my own journey. That everything I don’t like about myself, that way I look, the things I haven’t accomplished, the situations I find myself in etc…etc…. Are not so bad when I don’t have a standard to compare it to.

    It is God and Me. I have journey He is taking me on, and as long as I enjoy that journey life is good.

    If know one else likes that, and If I seem different then everyone else, that is their problem, not mine.

    Now as to violence in general, I wrote a small poem back in 2001 right after 911 and during Israel’s Jubilee Year, I think it somes it up quite nicely:

    HANDS AND PALMS

    Hand takes hold of Trigger
    Sounds of bullets firing fills the air.
    The desert screams for its children.
    Blood meets Palm.

    Two hands raise in the air and clap together.
    The beat of music brings rhythm to the sky.
    The desert laughs with its fathers and mothers.
    Palm meets Palm.

  • AaronC

    Sorry Allison (and Tabby),
    Its me again, I just realized I forgot to mention the “green tear”. Seeing as I am posting this late, I have already seen the “healing green tear” in action and quite frankly you pulled it off quite nicely.
    Kudos to the writers, producers, and your performance. Erica Durance’s too.

    I think it is great that Chloe is willing to give her life for her cousin’s, as I have a cousin that I am just as close to. But if Chloe is dead, or does not live again. I’m going to be upset for myself, Lois, Jimmy, and Clark.

    Ok, I’ll move on now……………..

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  • http://www.flogao.com.br/smallville1power Ana

    Hi Allison!

    Sorry for my English, I’m brazilian!

    I adore Chloe and Smallville!! And I adore you too! Your ideas are amazing and nice! You’re a excelent actriss!

    lol…

    I love Smallville and I watch every day. I am waitng for the season 7 and I hope Chloe didn’t die…she’s so important for this serie. She’s a friendly person…she’s a heroine!!! She saved Lois!! I love Chloe!! I love you Allison!!!!!

    Well, I started watching Smallville because of Tom Welling (he’s perfect, beautiful, handsome, nice and amazing), but I LOVED this serie and I can’t live without Smallville anymore…

    Kisses, Allison!! You’re perfect…you sing very well!

  • Adriano

    “Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time; the need for mankind to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Mankind must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
    They’re my thoughts, but not my words indeed, belonging to a speech of one of the greatest men of the last century, Martin Luther King Jr. He can teach us far more than everybody else.
    Kisses to Allison, please forgive my english
    Ciao from Italy
    Adriano

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  • http://www.alisonmack.com joao marcos morais

    you know the supergirl in this show is not kara is you cause you bring happy to the show I know a little of english cause my dad teach me and I wish that you vould come here someday I cant not even wait to the show pass the season 7 I am already watching on youtube cause I think you are better actres that ever exist and I want to make a question: what are your plans about your career and will you still be acting? thank you and kiss ciao from brazil

  • Marilyne

    Hi Allison!
    This is so cool, people from all over the world share their opinions on your blog! (I’m from Quebec) Your thoughts seem to reflect your great personality!
    You are a brilliant actress!
    Say hi to everyone of Smallville! ;-p

    Take care

    Marilyne

  • Belinda

    hey i found a really cool quote(s)
    “Great leaders are not those who seek great power, or rather, those who have great power thrust upon them”
    “Obsession and love cannot run parallel with each other. Obsession only craves to feed only your own desires and your own satisfaction. Love would never hesitate to set aside your own personal requirements for the happiness of another.”
    “Obsession is selfish. Love is Selfless.”
    “To risk your life for someone else, that is the most selfless act of all.”
    “The inevitability of death… is merely an incentive to fight harder… whilst i live…”
    “look for the hidden meanings within the hidden meanings.”

    those are my favorite!
    My sister and i love smallville and your our favorite actress! your roll would have to be the most challenging one apart from tom wellings. i can’t wai until the next season goes on air in australia!

    Tell everyone on in the cast that we wish them luck for the future!

    Love
    Belinda Pryor

  • Beth James

    It’s scary for me to be writing about this.
    I desperately want to be able to say something that will embrace your ideas and thoughts. I want to be able to tell about how I went through the same problem and I did exactly what you said and I was triumphant and it was sweet victory and a real self-reflecting moment for me.
    I want to be able to say that. Because that’s what I wish I had done.

    I always just wished my heart that one day I will just explode out of my shell. And out of some miracle or life changing experience, I wold accept life as it is.
    I want to accept myself. I want to accept others. I want others to accept me, but if they don’t, who cares? because I accept myself.

    What if it really is as easy as simply saying “Ya know what? I think I’m just going to accept this.”
    What if it is all just that easy and I’m just having trouble locating the on/off switch.

    If I were to go out on to a crowded street right now and say to anyone brave enough to look up and glance my way, “Treat others as you would like to be treated,” how many people would shove it to the side and file it under “category: cliché”?

    cliché
    /kleeshay/ (also cliche)

    • noun; 1) a hackneyed or overused phrase or opinion. 2) a very predictable or unoriginal thing or person.

    I have this 3 second memory buzzing in my head of me walking down the hall of my elementary building when I was in probably 2nd grade, and reading I huge sign that said the very “cliché” I have just referred to.
    It’s hard to believe, but that moment had an impact on me. It made total and complete sense even as a 7 year old.
    If you don’t want to be treated this way, why should anyone else be okay with it?
    I found that I actually go back to that small moment in my life very often. It’s a small flashback in the back of my head that I can always trust and follow. Where’s the flaw in it?
    I was really excited when you used this rule as part of your blog. So much of the world has done a one-eighty on their one “Golden Rule”, it’s nice to hear it in context, not as a cliché and not as annoying advice from a perse elder.

    Nice entry about inner-violence and verbal-violence, by the way.
    I can’t wait until I am able to do what I should have done in the first place, and it’s nice to know I’ll have your thoughts and my own words in this comment to look back on if I’m struggling.

  • Marissa

    Hi, Allison,
    Yeah your statement are very ture. I seem to beat myself up alot. I can’t help myself like I call myself fat and such. I love you in smallville, she surely bring something extra to smallville. my favorite eposide about is when use your power for good, the drama is so powerful. I am sorry if this is kinda short but I don’t know what else to write.
    well bye

  • http://lgschuh@gmail.com Robert Schuh

    Allison I didn’t follow the comics plus I think you and Clark are more of a match than Lois Lane. I’m sorry for any trouble I cause for other peoples remarks about me but Lana still is a good part for Smallville. They should have her come back here and there once in a while if she leaves the show. Michael if he leaves should at least come back once in a while also to satisfy the viewers or fans. I hope Michael would stay on the show as well as Kristin Kreuk. I always hoped that Clark would fall in love with Cloe. But if they follow the Superman story it would be Lois and Clark in love. I hope that none of my comments have offended you or any viewers or fans at all. But I still think Smallville is strong enough to go another season. God Bless you and everyone.

  • http://lgschuh@gmail.com Robert Schuh

    Allison I didn’t follow the comics plus I think you and Clark are more of a match than Lois Lane. I’m sorry for any trouble I cause for other peoples remarks about me but Lana still is a good part for Smallville. They should have her come back here and there once in a while if she leaves the show. Michael if he leaves should at least come back once in a while also to satisfy the viewers or fans. I hope Michael would stay on the show as well as Kristin Kreuk. I always hoped that Clark would fall in love with Cloe. But if they follow the Superman story it would be Lois and Clark in love. I hope that none of my comments have offended you or any viewers or fans at all God Bless you and everyone.

  • Norbert Lee Slusher

    Just remember that as one sends good vibrations out into the world, with ideals based on positivity, so the world will send back those vibrations when you need them most, leading to a happy and fulfilling life :) I wish you all the best, and hope that this helps you in some small way.

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