Time with me

Wow! I just had a huge recognition last week when hanging out with some of my really good friends in the freezing cold of upstate New York. I really don’t like just being with myself. I’m so good at distracting my own attention off of me because when I do sit and focus on me, I feel so uncomfortable that I want to just run away and hide. I spin around like the Tasmanian devil looking for whatever I can find to take my attention away from whatever it is I’m feeling at the time. I was telling my friend about this in the car, and he said, “That’s funny, given what you do for a living…” And I felt like a complete fraud all of a sudden! For someone who claims to produce genuine experiences of life, who “harnesses” truth of moments and communicates them to a wide public of people for a living, I sure don’t do that in my life. I can’t believe how challenging it is for me to sit and feel the truth of every moment without needing to get up and go for a pee or get a glass of water or fly to New York or go see a movie… Anything to get me out of my own genuine experience of being. It’s crazy, so I’ve given myself a task– a daily practice that I’m committing to so that I’ll (hopefully) build myself into someone that loves feeling genuine emotion, that enjoys just sitting and reflecting on the time at hand. I wonder how that will affect my acting if I’m not running away from myself and my own experience all the time. Hmmm… Interesting musings! Thanks for tolerating the vomit of ideas! Ciao for now, Allison

← Older Comments
  • George

    I love being alone, I’m alone right now, and loving it.

  • valle

    FEAR …

    What happens is that you have fear.

    Discover what your fear and this whole problem away.

  • http://www.aksoulmates.com Misslane

    hmm i have been thinking about your entry.
    let me make you a question: do you have fear of death???
    because people who use to think like you have fear of death.

    it’s very usual this fear, and this fear is because of changes in your life.
    you sometimes have said you don’t like the changes, well… if you suffer this phobia, its normal in people who have fear of death.

  • http://misslanediary.blogspot.com Misslane

    take care baby!!!
    and try to face the fears in your life!
    I know you can!!!

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    Allison,

    You’ll WANT to be alone after one day at the Superman Celebration — a crowd of thousands all wanting [at least] a minute of your time. I’ll try to bring you some Purell and be first in line (requires a 2 or 3 hour early arrival).

  • Chris

    Well, I also found out that I tend to turn on the TV when I am alone just to supress my thoughts but it doesnt help. Going to bed and everything is back in my mind and sometimes it is not possible to sleep for hours or even the whole night.
    I am not a guy who is very good in telling how he feels even in my own language (German) but today I tried to write a poem and well it somehow helped a little bit to express what I cant normally say.

    Here it is —>

    Being alone possessed with fear
    Cursed with hate too much to bear
    Changing things but not the facts
    Tired of these endless chats
    Coming to a point of no return …

    But wait there is something that prevents you from being ripped apart
    It`s a young boy with a good heart
    Your true self that was always there, just hiding to help finding what you are really looking for

    Your true self

  • ken

    i can understand not wanting to face your own emotions.
    if thier is one thing i have found in life it is that it can be easier to turn them off. but i have found that it hurts you in the long run.

    as a little kid i was the most friendly person in the world i thought everyone was my friend.

    unfortunitly it did not take me long to look at the entire world as my enemy.

    so i spent my tennage years with a chipp on my shoulder the size of the statue of liberty.

    it caused me to ignore and or allianate anyone whom i may have become close with.

    as a resault i woke up one morning a very lonley person with a third shift job no friends and a family that loved me but couldn’t stand to be around me.

    for the most part i have been able to fix things with my family. but people are still very hard to deal with i try to be friendly and not retreat into my shell. i was always afraid of getting hurt. i firmly belived that if you let someone that they would hurt you. and even tough that fear is still thier i am putting myself outthier to take the chance.

    but the hardest part about it is that everyone who knew me before can’t accept the fact that i am trying to change. i know it takes time but i feel like i have wasted to much already.

    so because l closed my self off emotionally i now have a bad rep i my never live down. but i’m not gonna quit.

    it feels wierd to me to be offering a peice of advice to somene who i have (in a round about way) looked to for strenght. allison your work may be entertainment but on a deeper level it is always about message and your messages have helped me on more than one accasion so as a thank you i will give a piece of advice that you can take or leave as you choose.

    as an actor it is your job to put up a front, a disply of whatever emotions are needed, i have always said you cannot act somthing you have never felt. hidding from your own emotions has allowe you on some levels to be a beeter actor letting you store up emotions thcan be called apon later. this is okay but thiar is a thin line that you dance on when you try and do this. my advice is to be aware of it because each time you cross the line and use this skill in your personal life it will get easy to do and harder to come back from. you don’t want to be lost in the storm without a lifeline trust me i’ve been thier.

    the most important thing to remember is who you are not who people think you are. be true to yourself and if people don’t like it it’s thier loss.

    so be true to yourself allison

    ihope that i was able to help
    it’s the least i could do

    thakyou for all your help ms. mack

    Ken

  • AJ

    Does Allison read and reply to these comments?

    If so, have you started filming new Smallville episodes yey?

  • Aysha

    Hey Alison,

    Hope all is well. Girlie, I think everybody has been in your shoes one time or another when it comes to avoiding self-confrontation. We are afraid of what we’ll find inside ourselves if we dig too deep, but that’s the beauty of it. You know never know what you’re gonna find and once you do, you change your perspective of yourself forever. Self-reflecting is difficult, but kudos to you for acknowledging that you dodge it! By realizing you dodge it, you are looking within! What a thought!

    All the Best,
    Aysha

  • Medina

    Screen Actors Guild now?

    P.S

    Its a bird?

    Its a airplaine?

  • ALLY

    hey Allison,
    I enjoy being alone,
    but I am scare of being alone,
    and sometimes I do the same
    as you, just try to take my mind of it.
    and just go to the next thing.
    thanks for all the insite you give us
    all, let us know that all of you are
    just people like us, with fear and etc.
    all the human emotions.
    thanks again.
    Ciao.

  • JulieLindsell

    Hi Allison,
    I know what you mean, sometimes its just good to have time with yourself to ponder and reflect. Have a good day!
    Julie
    x

  • http://www.myspace.com/x_browneyes025_x Jennifer

    Hey Allison I use to have the same problem. I hated being by myself and was alway’s tryng to distract myself with something to get my mind off of being alone or I’d sit there and stress myself out thinking about my life. Being around other people kept my mind off of my life and what I was feeling at that time. But now I love spending time by myself I guess I figured out what was causing me to feel that way and moved pass it.

    Take Care

  • http://deleted Robin

    Hi Allison,

    Well you are definately not alone,,see above coments!

    Yours comments about doing something , anything but having the genuine experience of being, isn’t that most people “live” by enjoying a different World by going to the movies, reading novels,going to the theatre, reading comic books or even..watching the weekly adventures of beloved characters in a tv show, I know I do!

    Yet many times I’ve asked myself what about my OWN experience of life, my own adventures, I want to have genuine real emotions and experiences (i’m starting to sound like a character from the wizard of Oz).

    Don’t beat yourself up too much, I think people have always enjoyed fiction stories from listening to tales told around the campfire to today..and I hope we never get bored of them.

    On another note, sometimes people as an audiance express more emotion watching fictional characters than they do when having their own real World experience, what do I mean, well sometimes (only sometimes me being a man and all) i’ll EXPRESS graeter emotion watching an old film in which something tragic happens to a character than when something awful happens to others or myself in real life.

    Does any of the above make sense..I hope so.

    Take care,

    Robin

    England

  • Neil

    Hey, Allison! I kinda feel like your friend was alittle over the line there with his comment. He kinda put you in an uncomfortable position. I personally think you are a wonderful woman. You have this energetic persona, and you’re so outgoing. I have enjoyed reading your blogs here and on Sodahead. Don’t change who you are. I think you’re fantastic … keep on blogging!

    Neil

  • Deacon

    For the next two months, I live at a monastery. Yes, a real monastery with monks and chanting 5 times a day and everything. One of the things I have had to learn in the last 5 years that I’ve been here has been to sit still and be quiet with just myself. For an extrovert like myself, it’s very hard to just sit and be. But learning to do it has been so invaluable. I’m not saying you have to pray. You can if you want to. But to just sit and be, to breathe, to let go of everything else, and get yourself out of the way… not in a Buddhist sense of complete emptiness, but in a different way… letting yourself be open, and not get in the way, of the goodness and truth that longs to pour itself into you.

    I don’t know what discipline you’re trying to adopt, but I hope it involves silence and solitude.

  • Deacon

    PS — Check out Westminster Abbey in Mission, B.C., if you want to get away for a day. It’s a beautiful place. Very serene.

  • ShinyStarlet

    Hi Allison,

    I’ve been reading the blog but have not responded in a while so I am sorry about that-so many of your blogs resonate with me and I have a hard time putting the thoughts together in a cohesive manner. If I don’t have the time to write something well then I don’t want to write(thats my hurdle)

    I kind of had the same realization you did a few years ago. I used to be the person who bopped to the music on the Ipod while riding the subway; who dreaded a three hour road trip without a book on tape; and who cringed at dead air in the apartment.

    One day the ipod broke and I actually survived a subway ride without Green Day. Life inside my head can be chaotic at times but I was okay. I started hearing the sounds around me and the world really is beautiful. I rarely need diversions anymore. I like sitting and thinking. I tried meditation and that stillness is really difficult but worthwhile.

    Because of my newfound ability to live inside my head extraneous noises have the opposite effect on me. My former roommate’s frenetic channel surfing drove me insane and when she moved out, I packed up the cable box and walked it right back to the store. I only have four channels now and sometimes my tv does not get turned on for two weeks(esp when there is a SV hiatus)

    My point in all this should I ever get to it is that finding comfort within yourself and without diversion can be a difficult journey. Enjoy the ride.

    PS I hope you enjoyed the cold upstate and got some snow. I love the cold and wish for snow but Manhattan just does not get what it used to. i did have a blast barreling down a hill in Riverside park on a garbage can top with my dog.

    All the Best

    Heather

  • Chris

    Well a few posts ago I postet my first poem and I wrote another one yesterday.
    Since my mother tongue isn`t english could you tell me if there are any mistakes in it.
    Maybe it is the wrong thread for it but as mentioned above it is way to compensate what Allison described (problems with being alone).
    Some critique would be nice as well here comes my second one —>

    Déjà vu

    Pictures previously seen
    Emotions flowing
    A wood full of green
    Plants growing

    Showing what was gone for a long time
    The beauty of life in it`s purest manifestation
    God`s creation that was directly reflected in front of my eye

    The old man remembered and smiled
    right before he died.

  • Mandy(Toronto)

    Allison,
    You truly inspire me! I just came acorss this blog a few days ago when searching for Smallville videos. Your blogs entries are so awesome! I can see how much time and effort you put in your work… it just makes me want to strive for something in my own life. I’m in third year university struggling to figure out what I wanted to do as a career. After reading your posts and watching your videos it makes me want to work as hard as you do. And maybe one day I can get to where you are. Hopefully, you don’t think I am putting you on a pedastal… I can’t help but think you’re fabulous!
    Now replying to this post…
    I always want to get up and go do something as well! But you see… you’re lucky in some sense because you always have something to do! I don’t think you should be worried. I don’t usually like to be alone but sometimes it’s nice. My favourite time to be alone is at night, right before I go to sleep, I reflect on my day. Another time is when I’m on the bus on my way home from school…takes about an hour… it’s fun to think about conversations I just had with friends… or how the conversation could have changed if I had replied differently to a certain comment…
    Whether you want to make time for yourself or not… it doesn’t matter… just stay true to yourself.

  • anna

    I think Im one of the people that recognized you in upstate NY. I didn’t say anything but I knew who you were . Someone I work with actually got to talk to you though at Uncommon Grounds. He said you were really nice. I hope it’s not too bothersome being recognized everywhere.

    =)

  • Miina

    Wow, Allison, your latest post felt like I could’ve written it. I’ve been having similar feelings, and when I try to wrap my mind around it and force myself to sit down and think, if nothing else, I suddenly find myself hoovering the house or dusting with great pleasure (!)..which only happens when I’m stuck with just myself and my thoughts, haha. I guess my latest Smallville marathon falls into that Escapism category, too..
    I’m just afraid I’ll go through life in this..er..cloud (?!), and later realise how foolish I’ve been, how much time I’ve wasted. I mean I do see my ‘problem’ but it’s another thing to get myself to do something about it! I’d really like to learn to live IN the moment, and face what I’m
    running (or hoovering away..) from. I’d like to find peace within myself, and put to rest the ‘Tasmanian devil’ that you were on about, hehe. Maybe I’ll try the lil daily practise thing that you came up with ;)

    Oh yeah, I just discovered this website! I already love it! I like how you connect with your fans, find the time to come here and talk with us. It gives a much more real picture of you as a person. Can’t really find that with many stars, at least from what I’ve found. So, *thumbs up* Keep it up! I know I’ll find my way back to this website :)

    Take care!

    Miina (from Finland)

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    The questions are starting to pile up again. I feel the need for another video question and answer session.

    For example:

    If you think of your ideas as vomit, do you think of those that inspire those ideas as your own personal syrup of ipecac?

    Will Phantom be attending any of your upcoming personal appearances and available to sign copies of the limited edition Phantom Comments Comic Book?

    Will you be organizing any Peach Rallies or Peach Marches where people can get together and support you by chanting, “All we are saying is give Peach a chance” ???

    Most importantly, what was with the mud/blood(?) on you and Phantom in Chad’s photo? Inquiring minds want to know … and the rest of us want to know too.

    So many questions. So few answers.

  • Fannie

    I must say that your video blogs have this way of making us feel like a million bucks every time we watch them…and so I cannot wait ( and must admit am impatient ) to see what you come up with next ! You won’t be running out of questions to answer that’s for sure! I also wanted to make a suggestion . Maybe youv’e thought of this already , but I was thinking It could be cool to make a mack-event album with baby pictures of everyone who wants to participate in it ! I don’t know , but since youve been talking about your need to face yourself these days , I find the theme of childhood to be an interesting one. Be careful not to mistake looking to the past , but rather observing our inner-aura and what we were like as a kid. since you can’t fake being a kid.
    just thought I’d share the idea….

    :D

  • Julesmariah

    I am Brazilian and I don’t like to live alone, but this is part of life. I had to leave my family years ago to study in a bigger city and after College, I got a job in other state. I try to live day after day. Sometimes is harder, sometimes goes easy. I started to write and I really appreciate because it makes me listen my own internal voices. Sometimes I have to go out and I do. Just for a walk or to a movie. But I am sure that every experience will make you stronger and, as an actress, I am sure that you will learn how to use this. I must say that, as a Journalist, confront the pain opened my eyes to my own feelings and helped me to be more sympathetic with the people who ask for help at the newspaper.

    Best wishes, you are an uncommon person Miss Mack, a very special one.
    Julesmariah

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    Allison,

    In case you are interested in the set-up at Metropolis where you will be signing autographs, here are a few shots of the parking lot where you will do the first autograph session. I wish I had taken a shot down the line of people waiting for autographs. It stretched out of sight. First time I went there, I was waiting at the wrong door of the bank for well over an hour then wandered over and looked around the corner. I saw the small tent in the parking lot across the street and the crowd that had gathered while I was in the wrong place. That was in 2005 with John Schneider and I barely made it to the front of the line before John had to leave for the next event. When I left, the line stretched into the distance and I wondered how the people would all react to being turned away. I went straight from there to get in line for the second autograph session that was still hours away and the line was still pretty long. If someone wants to meet the celebrities, they almost have to miss everything else. I always miss the question and answer session or I will definately miss the 2nd autograph session. By the way, Noel Neill is such a sweet woman … and I hope you are blessed with as caring and attentive agent as she has. He never leaves her side and always leans her way in case she needs anything at any moment. I was so impressed with him that I got his autograph! Anyway, here are the photos of MR arriving at autograph spot #1. Have fun at the Casino!

    ~He’s the Baum!~

    ~A Few Minutes with Micheal Rosenbaum~

    Metropolis, Illinois annual Superman Celebration.
    June 10th of 2006

    ==============================================

    I stood in the sweltering sun (no shade, 86 degrees) for 3 hours before the first autograph session began to be second in line. I snapped about three photos as he got out of the car he was brought in. He shouted to the crowd, “Why are you all here? You should be in a pool somewhere!” Due to the large line behind me, we were told no photos with Michael one autograph each! Michael was very cordial and friendly with me … for my allotted 20 seconds. I left a satchel for him with a copy of the Smallville musical I wrote and a copy of a story for a pilot episode for a series I wrote. The story is an alternate universe version of Smallville and I always imagine MR as the romantic lead. I have written 75 stories for the series so far. I also filled the satchel with bottles of Purel (which is a product made by a company I am doing some consulting work for). The trip ended up costing me about $1000.00 (lost wages, 1200 miles travel, pet boarding, 2 days stay in a hotel). If that was going to be all the time I got to spend with him, I knew I would be sorely depressed about it later. I wish I could call his agency and say, “I’ll pay $500.00 for a 15 minute conversation with MR!”

    So, I got into another line for the 2nd autograph session. He was looking a little bored so this time when I handed him a copy of a picture to sign, he studied it a little closer. It showed Lex Luthor standing with a woman with a belt with the Superman insignia on it. He asked, “Is that Lana?” I said, “No, that’s your wife.” I suddenly had his undivided attention. I explained Clara Kent to him and that an alternate universe series would mean double the work for him (just making better use of his time while he was on the set). He was extremely interested and urged me to continue writing. He told me that he had written seven scripts so far and had only managed to sell one but that he was going to keep trying and that I should too. He also said he very much wanted to read the Smallville Musical that I wrote. I told him that I had requested a waiver from Al Gough and Miles Millar so that I could pitch ideas to them. MR said that Al and Miles are not very interested in other peoples ideas. I asked the man with MR if he was with the talent agency representing MR. He said that he was affiliated with them. I requested contact information so that I could send MR some ideas for him through them. He took my name, e-mail address and phone number so he could contact me later.

    The newspaper reported that there were 150 people in line to get an autograph from MR, but no one was there taking a head count. I have no idea how many were there, but the line of people led down the street and looped in and out of at least 2 alleys for the second autograph signing and stretched across a parking lot and around a church for the first.

    [I am in the first one -- that finger partially covering the lens to the left is me! That's the best photo of me ever!]

    http://www.daybow.com/photos/Michael_Rosenbaum/MR1.JPG

    http://www.daybow.com/photos/Michael_Rosenbaum/MR2.JPG

    http://www.daybow.com/photos/Michael_Rosenbaum/MR3.JPG

    http://www.daybow.com/photos/Michael_Rosenbaum/MR4.JPG

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    OOPS! Didn’t mean to post my account of my encounter with MR. It was in the copy/paste I used for the photos.

    One thing the account doesn’t mention is that Michael had to leave immediately after the 2nd autograph session to catch a plane. But rather than disappoint the people who had waited hours to see him, he insisted on walking down the line of waiting people to shake hands and say Hi. No one had done that before … and I don’t recommend it … walking down a narrow alley with hundreds of people despirate for a few seconds and very little in the way of security to control the crowd if things got out of hand.

  • ThisTimeIGotIt

    LMAO vomit of ideas LMAO

    I love to see that you grow, in realizing who you are and what you do.

    Wh

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    Please Note: Your Moderation is awaiting my next comment!

  • Josh

    I’m very similar with this topic but also completely different. I also don’t like just sitting down and focusing on myself. There’s just something about it that makes things feel awkward and strange. It’s weird that you should feel that way when it’s yourself you’re feeling that about. The part that’s different though is I don’t mind being just by myself. Being able to just sit and do whatever I want, with no one to distract me, makes me happy. It’s my own quiet time. However, I have to make sure that I’m doing something. Anything. If I end up starting to think about me, that’s when it becomes no more fun. I think I need to work on that.

  • Medina

    Truth,

    Justice,

    and american waaaaay!!!!

  • Rina

    I know how you feel. I am often afraid to be left alone with my thoughts. I guess sometimes I think mabey I live to much in a fantasy world (like watching way too much tv LOL) and it scares me to know what it would be like to be alone with my thoughts.

    On the other hand when am alone with my thoughts it really helps clear my mind and makes me feel a whole lot better. I hope you achive your goal. I will keep reading your blog for updates

    Much love
    Rina

  • scott123

    You are such a girl. Gurly, girl, girl!
    This is such a chic thing! Guys do not think about this stuff. I was thinking of Tim Allen who said “If a girl bumps into something, she’ll blame herself. (Bumps mike stand) oops! silly me. But if a man bumps into something, he’ll blame somebody else. (Bumps mike stand) Hey! Who put that there?!”
    I am not sure why there is this gender difference. I know many men who don’t mind being alone at all. It’s quieter that way.
    I recommend Tai Chi. This will allow you to feel the truth of the moment, while simultaneously letting go of any negativity in your life.
    Indeed, many extreme sports become popular because they require absolute focus. Look at surfing, or motorcross, or rock climbing. You have to shut everything off accept what you are doing, and pay strict attention to that. For me this shutting off and focusing in, are best done thru kitesurfing. The intensity of the experience seems to settle alot of the other issues.
    If I was rough at the top, I apologize. I do not want you to get to serious about this, there are other areas of life that can demand just as much attention. So, I guess balance is key.
    Do not fret, for as an artist, this sentiment you have expressed, ultimately, will become part of something you create. That makes for an encouraging future.

    Nudginawink
    Scott123

  • Shaun

    its definetly an interesting thought, and one that i’ve never really thought about before. I think thats the case for a lot of people. We all try and find something that will distract us from ourselves. I think for me its the worry that if I spend too much time looking into myself, I might find something I don’t like, and that kinda scares me. I’ve always thought of myself as a good, honest person, but i also think that everyones got something in them that they don’t want to accept. I guess i’m afraid of seeing that.
    I’m ok with being on my own sometimes, its a nice getaway, but i’m definetly someone who needs people. Its a weird balance, on the one hand I enjoy spending time on my own, because its kinda soothing, but on the other, i’m a people person, I need people to tell me i’m doing good.

    Wow, you’ve definetly made me think about this one! As for the acting, don’t worry, you’re awesome enough as it is! :D

    p.s- ‘vomit of ideas’- top phrase!

  • Bouroux

    Hi Allison.
    In the last three days the Smallville news are numerous and very significant. The return of Smallville for an eighth season and the death of a main character. I returned to the January 8 blog “And then what?”.
    I look forward to reading the second part of this blog. The season 8 is a good news if you are on board. I hate the idea of a possible death of Chloe. I hope that the return of season 8 is a good news for you. It’s an extra year before the post Smallville. The transition will be gentler. I hope you will not have to make hard choices for the negotiation of the season 8. Good luck.
    When the filming of the episode 16 starts ?
    Have a good week

    Bye
    Claude

  • http://www.hebertsenterprises.net Robin Hebert

    Hi Allison:
    I know how you feel about the un-comfortablenesses of just being because we have been so used to having our identities tied up with doing….and we have to remember that we are human beings not human doings….its because society has tried to ingrain in our DNA that we are not “good” enough just as we are….we have to have a job or an accomplishment or a title or money or something to believe that we have made it in the world….what I always endeavor to do is getting back to childlike faith of just knowing I’m okay just to be……that I’m accepted just as I am without any titles. Hope you realize that as well. Your friend, Robin

  • Greg

    Your acting… “build myself into someone that loves feeling genuine emotion” Hey… I watch Smallville just for you and your acting. Nobody in the world can fake those smiles or those shinny spots in your eyes. I m convinced that knowing the scent of Chloe Sullivan is meeting Allison’s heart. I dont think you act, I think you relate things and feel very well. Behave!

  • Shaun

    I agree with Greg up there, you’ve definetly got your acting down to a tee, I think in terms of acting and general character development, you and Michael Rosenbaum definetly stand out for me in Smallville, you can definetly tell theres some Allison in there when you’re portraying Chloe, its great to watch! and can I just say, that smile of yours is very infectious! Keep it up! :)

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    This idea just vomitted out of me. I’me very surprised considering your dog’s name and the show that you are on that this didn’t dawn on me a lot earlier! So, Allison, welcome to my world:

    http://www.daybow.com/images/Phantom_Comment_19.jpg

  • George

    All all congratulate all women, girls upon March, 8, by a world womanish day! In this day a spring is included in the domains, be beautiful as flowers! Elison, personally congratulate you =)

  • Johnny

    I think it’s normal to feel that way. I’m totally freaked out with myself and I also feel that other people have a ‘self’ that’s more tolerable than my own. But that’s just not true. Everyone has to look in a mirror everyday and see themselves and just deal with it! haha No one is perfect and you are always the biggest critic of yourself. So cheer up! I think, from what I’ve seen, you are doing a fantastic job!

    Johnny

  • http://none Ron Trotter

    Hey Allison,

    Way too many people putting in their 2 cents without knowing who you really are and how you grew up……… I think your awesome and will always be a fan because I think you’ve done a great job going from someone who was … unfortunately looking like was on their way out on Smallville to the AMAZING actress that has forced them to make you as an important character as you are. Everyone has issues and I think it’s amazing that you are able to share others that you’re just a regular person……. Don’t let all the Dr Phil’s confuse you… Just keep being who you are and… well the alone issue…… not everyone knot’s and are comfortable with who they are and their place in life so don’t beat yourself up about it… Your young and you don’t have to know everything… Give yourself some time and don’t complicate things.. Yet… when you’re in your late 30′s and still have the same thought’s then maybe it’s time to call the Fraser Crane show…lol… Pease and just take things easy….. You have too many people that think you’re great to worry about the small stuff..

    Best Regards

  • http://allpoetry.com/poem/by/rewop777 Eduardo Canessa

    I am going to die
    I once was your and fool hearted
    Dreaming of all the places I have parted
    I wish I could go back to those days once more
    I feel like knocking on father time’s door

    To call all the buddies I have buried through the years
    Load them into a very small car and run through the gears
    Drive to foreign land and do things unthinkable
    Drink the drinks that the ladies call undrinkable

    But now I´m old and can even get our of this chair
    Man youth is wasted on the young, this is not fair
    Remembering all the deeds done and all I left undone
    All the times I chickened out of all the brainless fun

    Betrayed by my sanity and my parents morality
    They make me imagine things and think they are reality
    They lived in my head telling me what to do every day
    Whether it be parachuting, or surfing the riptide at the bay

    But now the voices are silence by my endless lies
    Like I could possible eat a half ton of ranch fries
    Or climbed a mountain and gone cliff jumping
    I knew back then to try, my heart would stop thumping

    So now I sit in my chair and think of things undone
    Wishing and wishing for one more day for brainless fun
    Soon ill be dead and rotting in my grave forever
    Now all the things left undone, an afterlife’s endeavour

  • Simon

    I have both problems, that I feel my life is so entirely centred on me, and that I am constantly striving to remove the focus. I know that I have always put it there, but I find it unnerving that others do and I recognise I’m a great deal happier when I can avoid it. A great part of my love for humanity is, though genuine, also a saving grace. It saves me from myself and allows me to always place myself second despite the centrality of my work and ambitions.

    It is hard to stop and focus on genuine experience. So much of our life is automatic, developed habit and heuristic. It can be hard to stop and breath the air, take in the scent and sight of life without the urgent impulse to action.

    I am at the moment thousands of miles from where I grew up, and, never being one for culture shock, I have to stop and remind myself that I am on another continent, that the sky is not my sky (metaphorically, as that is in truth the least different). And one reason I do this is to try to put a form to the difference of time. It’s one thing to fail to recognise the distance between places, but another not to be able to see the change in yourself, as rapid and as continuous as it is.

    I need that perspective, not because I don’t appreciate it, but because I *need* to see it, to know it consciously as I move forward. It separates me from the intimacy of the moment. It is too easy to let the means become the end.

    Not that I can jet off to New York for a movie right now, but hey, I’m working on it.

  • http://defyingtiger.deviantart.com Dani

    Hi Allison.

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while but have always been too shy to comment. I wanted to email you so the world can’t see my comment but I can’t find one anywhere (I could just be blind lol)

    I’ll get to the point… you inspire me. I’ve been wanting to act since I was little, and the desire is growing stronger with every day. Everytime I watch Smallville, your performances never cease to make me smile. You are such a wonderful person and I hope so badly that if i ever become as successful an actor as you, I will not love my down-to-earth ness.

    You and I seem similar thoughtwise, too. This entry is also like me… I’m always distracting myself from feeling anything… every time I get upset or agitated or even just content, I always make myself do something rather than just feel whatever I’m feeling. Perhaps its because I get bored easily, but I have to agree with what you said, sometimes i just feel uncomfortable being with myself.

    I also completely agree with that entry where you list all your different personalities (the barbie one, hehe) and how you’re so much more open and honest on the internet… again, I am the same… I would NEVER have the guts to say any of this to anyone in real life lol.

  • http://defyingtiger.deviantart.com Dani

    By the way, if you ever wanted to talk, feel free to email me. conceptual_reality@hotmail.com If not, no worries.

    Believe me when I say I’m not just trying to get a famous person to email me. I honestly feel like we have a ton in common ^_^

  • M.VINI

    look i am no actor i i couldn’t quite understand what was u saying but hey don’t worry ’bout a thing couse i am pretty sure everything will be alright and as a personal comment i’ve been sneaking in this blog for a while and i am a little fan of your work and your character at the show and i wanted you to know that your good work and fame has reached me out here in brazil . hit me back if possible

  • http://peter.blogfa.com peter johansson

    i love u!!!!!!!!! i see you in http://peter.blogfa.com please write a comment

  • http://nathiest.deviantart.com/gallery/ Nathiest

    now this is a great blog entry.

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