In a Barbie World…

Isn’t it amazing that the things that seem so difficult to say in person come out like a waterfall on the computer? Like somehow because I’m separated from you by a piece of glass, I’m safe in some way… Like the little Apple sign on the back of my computer shoots out an invisible shield that surrounds my emotional being, and somehow I can be honest without any serious nervousness or concern… How am I any different?

Truth is, I’m not, but it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way…

It’s like I separate myself into different people… This is the computer Allison; she is witty, compassionate, straightforward, and honest, with really bad grammar…

Then, there’s acting Allison; she is confident, slightly arrogant, fun-loving, and focused… with a wicked streak of ego and ambition that can tend to run over people if they get in her way…

Then, there’s the friend Allison; she is silly and creative, passionate and hyper, with an excitement for exploration and adventure…

And these are just the top three that seem the most familiar…

Then, there’s interview Allison, family Allison, convention Allison, girlfriend Allison, holiday Allison… etc., etc., etc.

…I’m almost as bad as the Barbie chain.

Malibu Allison, dream house Allison…

So, I suppose the goal becomes integrating all these Allisons into one full, rich, and round person.

But wait a minute… How am I not that already?

What the fuck?

It’s not like I split magically into all these people; they’re simply people I play in order to obtain the things I want.

What if the only true thing to obtain is a true sense of self?

Ooooo! Kinda deep?

Maybe I’ll just stick to “Cinderella Allison” or “party time Allison” for now– keep things superficial until I am ready to forge ahead into the abyss that is my own truth.

It’s funny… I recognize the beauty and desire I have to live a full and genuine life, but God, I don’t even know if I know what that means…

Maybe that’s the journey; struggling through to find those opportunities to discover a new foothold in the cave of me and explore from there for a while… until I am ready to go a little deeper….

Ok, that feels good.

Ciao, all!
Allison

PS. We’ve launched a new forum on this site! We want to have everyone interact in more dynamic ways. Go and sign up and have fun! Click to go to forum!

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →
  • Amanda

    I couldn’t help but think of Paul Laurence Dunbar’s Poem

    We Wear the Mask

    We wear the mask that grins and lies,
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
    This debt we pay to human guile;
    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

    Why should the world be over-wise,
    In counting all our tears and sighs?
    Nay, let them only see us, while
    We wear the mask.

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
    To thee from tortured souls arise.
    We sing, but oh the clay is vile
    Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
    But let the world dream otherwise,
    We wear the mask!

    This poem always stuck with me. Especially as a Southerner (in the U.S.), there are certain expectations on how to behave. There’s a certain mask we wear when we’re in public. We keep our guard up to a certain extent…never let them see you cry. Then we’re with our friends & family and our guard comes down a little. They see sides to our personalities that we aren’t comfortable sharing with the rest of the world–because with them we know we are accepted. And then there’s the internet… a perfect mask. You can say anything you want and no one will ever know you said it. Or, so you think. There, we have no boundaries at all.

    I don’t know about fragmentation or post modernism or unifying self. All I know is that if we want to truly know who we are, then we need to look at how we act and react when no one else is around. If you’re really feeling brave, have someone you love, who you trust to be brutally honest, give you a personality profile on how they see you. I had a person tell me what they honestly thought about me (spoken in love) and it changed my life.

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    Here’s a yet unexplored personality for you Allison — Motherhood.

    http://www.daybow.com/images/I_Dont_Prelim.jpg

    [Preliminary concept for cover art for "I Don't Know What To Do With Myself" ... longest titled Smallville Fan Fiction ever!"]

  • The Great Ymmij

    You speak the truth, Allison!

    We all have different sides to us. It’s important to know which side to choose in the situation we are in at the time. I become G-rated Jimmy in Church and at home. I become Wild Jimmy with my friends. And here I am as Computer Jimmy, typing away my open comments after reading your blog.
    I like to goof around all the time, but I know when I have to be serious. When we’re in control of our behaviors, then we’re in control of the situation we’re in.
    Although I wrote this all from my mind, you encouraged me to let it out. Haha, thanks for that!

    I’ll be looking forward to more of your random writings.
    Jimmy

  • http://xanga.com/kasealaine Kasey

    From what I understand from my very limited grasp of psychology, it’s normal and even healthy to take on different traits for different situations. It doesn’t show that you are different people, just that you are a multi-faceted person. It keeps you from being put into a box- oh, yeah, Allison is very career driven, she doesn’t know how to have fun- or- Allison is a great person, but she just can’t take her job seriously. I wouldn’t worry about it, personally, unless you wish that more of a specific part of you would show up in everything that you do.

  • Tabby

    “Yeah, a little Deleuze and Guattari are what Allison needs. I wish she would do what seems so strinkingly obvious and go and get a university degree. So many smart people have been thinking and writing brilliantly about these issues for hundreds of years.”

    Personally I think its kind of silly to assume that one needs to attend a university in order to learn or read about philosophers. I think its just as easy as going to a library or ordering a copy of the manuscripts or other primary documents written by Deleuze and Guattari and other philosophers. One just has to be dedicated to the study. No one should be obligated to study through a university if they don’t wish. Not that I think that’s the case here, but I just find the suggest that the “obvious” answer here is to attend university, when the “obvious” answer here is actually to study and explore in whatever capacity you are most comfortable.

  • Neil

    Hey Allison! What makes you think that you’re NOT all of those descriptions of yourself. Different atmospheres bring out different sides of a personality. You must be all those incredible people if you see enough to spell out all those versions! If you don’t believe in yourself … who else will? I believe in you and think you are absolutely stupendous!

    Neil

  • ann conner

    read your, what do you call it, blog? first time. Interesting. i thought grammar didn’t matter on line. anyway, i’m not computer savy so I don’t really know. Anyway, just wanted to say that you might really enjoy reading The Purpose Driven Life, in all your spare time of course! I found it to be very helpful. I have profound meaning to my life and it encompasses all the many facets of my personality. Give the book a sincere try. I think it’s very kind of you to interact with your fans like this. My family and I are new to smallville but we’ve “caught up” on DVD and are big fans! Blessings from South Carolina

  • Desiré Taconi

    Hi Allison! Uhu my thirst coment! Well, I think every one have sides. But we have to be carefull with the dark side (hau this remides me starwars)but serious, we have to controll ours emotions to not hurt a other person.I have a strong personality everyone says that to me,but i know, I’m a very good person but sometimes i have to control my self to not be so hard.Kisses from Brazil!

    P.S I hope the all write is correct.

    Words in Portuguese :

    Hi = Oi
    Bye = Tchau

    See you,
    Desiré Taconi.

  • neil

    This is JUST a STRANGE thing, the person who ENTERED in a REPLY right before mine was named “neil” I did not notice this until after I clicked SUBMIT… strange…

    IS THAT A GOOD SIGN or a BAD SIGN?

  • Anne

    Hi allison :)

    I guess we all feel that way dear. :)
    like you are one person with your friends, one person with your boss, one person with your parents aso, but still all of those ‘persons’ is you. :) So don’t feel it like this are weird.. it’s just like it should be. :) But I’m agree with you, its strange it have to be this way… :s
    Hope you are OK! :)

    *Hugs’ from a norwegian girl :)

  • Lea

    WE’re all like that Allison! REally .lol. You just cant behave the same way with your friends or your boss for example… that’s the fun thing about being a human! You have all these great personalities that make you the way you are…
    I ask you something when you’re at work and some of your friends are around they dont say: “Hey! this isnt you!!” right? its just a little part of the amazing human you are… :D and actually if you think about it its the fun part about life :)

    XOXO from MExico!
    *Lea*

  • George

    What about an action figue range, like battle damaged Alison, bloging action Alison or deep thinking Alison.

  • Marilyne

    Hey guys!
    In the Allison’s calendar, today’s activity was “To build a fort”…When I bought the calendar, I was like…right…a fort on March 10th…but then winter came along and let fall almost 4 metres of snow!! So I guess Allison’s forecasts were true…hahaha I don’t know the weather on your side of the planet but let me tell you that here in Quebec, tourists are speechless and amazed by our bloody cold temperatures and forever lasting precipitations! :D
    Drive safely if you have to

  • Maria

    you know when i saw the title for a second i thought you were gonna talk about that very annoying song “Im a barbie world in a barbie world”. LOL

    Anyway, I think that i have definitley felt the same way. Like its like when i go to school i get into this “mode” like a way i act in school. But the thing is its not that im being a hypocrite but it just comes out of me automatically but yet i know im being myself. Its really that us human beings all have different personalties and if we add all of those different personalities it equals us. Sometimes i think im schizofrenic or something! LOL

    And allison right now im being smallville fan maria!

    PLZ! tell us if you guys have already started shooting yet!!!!!

  • Bouroux

    Hi Allison.
    Very interesting blog, we have to play different characters in the same day. It’s as if we went in different scenes with new scenarios.
    The goal of life is to get things that you want. When you say:
    “It’s not like I split magically into all these people; they’re simply people I play in order to obtain the things I want”.
    That is exactly what I think. All the people do this.
    Get the things I want is:
    - a better job
    - help a freind
    - help a stranger
    - have fun
    - give meaning to my life
    - …….
    The list is endless.
    And interpretations of our behaviors are endless.
    Sometimes we have to play the roles that we dislike.
    Such duty reprimand my child or my dog. I don’t have choice but it’s good to rethink the situation.
    To move forward in life it is sometimes necessary to follow the scenarios that we don’t like. Adaptation is the secret of happiness.
    The fact that you are aware of your multiple personalities is a wonderful asset for an actress.
    It’s not necessary “to forge ahead into the abyss that is my own truth.”
    All the people around you appreciate your authenticity. Do not change too much.
    The new forum is amazing and I like to share some ideas with the others.
    Excellent timing for the launch. We are now, like every year in the period of uncertainty about the fate of Chloe. I hope the period will not be too long.
    Take care of you, I think that you have big month in front of you.

    Bye
    Claude.

  • http://www.compositingcentral.net Laura

    Were all like that hun, all the fractures of ones self, including the being alone with ones self and not always enjoying that ‘calm’.. a nd as the nature of the industry.. you fracture yourself a biiit more then most people. Dont feel you need to be so hard on yourself, your doing great, you have tons of fans who love you, and your out of the worst of that ‘public eye’ that would drive any actor or actress crazy, and well.. your human, so life is going to be a bit crazy, a bit fractured, a bit fun, and a bit frustrating.. it will be many many more things.. and thats a great thing in itself. Just make sure every ‘fracture’ of yourself is true to your morals, what you hold personally for yourself as standards. Your doing good if you can keep that up, and simply put, if your happy with what you do, who you are, then thats all that should matter in the end.
    Best of luck girlie, maybe ill see ya around sometime.

  • bourdieu

    Tabby Says:
    March 10th, 2008 at 11:48 am

    “Not that I think that’s the case here, but I just find the suggest that the “obvious” answer here is to attend university, when the “obvious” answer here is actually to study and explore in whatever capacity you are most comfortable.”

    I couldn’t agree more that university study is not for everyone and that there are many different ways of getting access to knowledge and insight. My use of the word “obvious” wasn’t to sound proscriptive or haughty. Universities do specific things which simple reading doesn’t do – the structure, the social life, the mentoring. Would someone just happen to pick up Deleuze and Guattari in a library or push their way through it by themselves? Reading Miss Mack’s blog, she is wrestling with some big issues, one’s that philosophers have dealt with for hundreds, even thousands of years, and she has some striking gaps in her views, especially around politics. From the outside, reading these postings, she strikes me as someone who would benefit from, be challenged by, and thrive in a university environment. Hey, it’s just my view. I don’t know her at all, of course and this blog is very delimited and structured in its goals and effects, so I might be totally off base.

  • http://www.allisonmackespana.com Misslane

    a question for you allison: When someone who you love, or someone important for you who use to be near of you…. you use to think of these kind of things?????

    I mean, when that person isn’t near of you.. do you use to think of these kind of things????.. think of it!! it’s important!!!

    someday I will explain you everything

  • http://www.allisonmackespana.com Misslane

    ps:… I have come back to read your words again and I am not agree with you with these words you have written:

    “…..Maybe I’ll just stick to “Cinderella Allison” or “party time Allison” for now– keep things superficial until I am ready to forge ahead into the abyss that is my own truth….”

    it’s only my little opinion, but I think that you are wrong with it.
    maybe you are scared of yourself and you don’t want to know to yourself, i think that I said you this long time ago…
    you have to be strong allison and dare yourself to know you better than you are doing.
    its my advice for you because I care of you, even we are far from each other.

  • Tabby

    Well I was answering some survey questions that I found on bulletin boards and there is a question that has a similar issue to this post and I thought it would be nice to share an opinion.

    I guess we as human beings have a responsibility or at least feel obliged to play different characters as to what people want to see us as. It’s a whole subconscious thing and this sometimes has us questioning as to if we are hypocrites. The fact is we are just following and blending into the the cultural construct of society.

  • Tabby

    and I am a different tabby from the whoever tabby that has posted something up there long ago….

  • solim

    “Cinderella Allison” !!!
    I made this a couple of months ago, hope you like it!
    Link:
    http://thumbsnap.com/images/xnKsy5CF.jpg

  • george

    hello allison!u r SO great!love yr smallville character!

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    I guess Phantom’s a “Barbie Dog.” He’s got many dimensions to his personality as well.

    [img]http://www.daybow.com/images/Phantom_Comment_20.jpg[/img]

  • http://www.daybow.com DavidHayes1956

    Guess that didn’t work. Let’s try again:

    http://www.daybow.com/images/Phantom_Comment_20.jpg

  • Robyn!

    heehee party time Allisonars! wee! i really enjoy your stream of consciousness (wow i really screwed up that spelling) and the emotions that sort of ebb and flow like the tides (sans the big romping wolf dog)

  • Robyn!

    when do you come up with/contemplate this stuff? its great how you look at every piece of your personality from every emotional and mental angle.

  • Doug

    wow! allison mack saying the F word.

    I am shocked and appalled.

    unregardless, i do agree that sitting in front of a computer(and in particular an apple computer, due to their marketing campaign making you feel superior to other computer users because you were ‘smart’ enough to choose a apple product and it has nothing to do with it looking cool at all, honest) does allow a certain amount of freedom which you don’t have face to face in ever situation. I think everyone has a bunch of different sides to them that come out in different settings. like how you’ll only fart in front of certain people, i think thats when a persons real self comes out, when you are with the people you can fart in front of.

  • Joe

    Heh heh heh you said “fuck”. ; )

    Dig it! I wonder how many peoples’ image of ‘innocent Allison’ were shattered when they read that?

    Love it!

  • Carlos

    i ALWAYS feel like that. Sometimes I don´t even know which “me” is the real “me”. But I think that everybody has a different self acording to the people that are around them.
    Sorry for my really bad English xD
    I´m from Argentina xD
    You are great Allison!
    xoxo
    bye

  • Rasiel

    Hey Allison,

    I can’t help but agree. This sense of security given from a simple apple sign as you say (in my case, a slightly dim HP logo above my keyboard) creates some idea of comfort that isn’t so obvious if we were to happen to meet and greet one day.

    In my opinion, this persona we make known between screens is a revised version of ourselves, a deeper version of us that we want the other to see. We can’t backspace a comment over the phone nor in person… in those cases we only have one shot, one chance to get our thoughts out. Here in this blog, we define, accentuate, and clarify ourselves so that only our true thoughts are known and no remnance of shyness, nor mistake, nor eraser residue is present.

    I myself must have revised this entry over ten-times. Why? Because I can. Part of it is to make sure I don’t sound as goofy as I could in person. Partly because I want to try and sound as cool and insightful as the person who inspired me to write it. But mostly because it is safe. It is the computer Rasiel… slightly different from the best friend Rasiel, the brother Rasiel, the boyfriend Rasiel, the masked marvel Rasiel (yeah wouldn’t that be something)…

    But nonetheless it IS me. Just as it IS you.

    Whoa I haven’t thought that deep in a while…

    So here’s to:
    1) expressing ourselves as in-your-face as we are on the keyboard if we ever do come face-to-face…

    and

    2) figuring ourselves out. As different as any of us could be, we all share common ground on this topic alone.

    Best of luck. Keep inspiring, enlightening and doing what you do best!

  • Me

    Allison, this is what i like about you! You said “fuck” when you felt like it! And, I think you being honest with how you are feeling, acknowledging the masks that’re in fact part of you, is a great start towards understanding your trueself.

    I’m delighted that you do trust us to have the maturity to accept and appreciate for who you are. After reading your entry, I think you are closer than what this entry had let us on. In fact, I think you are already there – whoever we become and how we want to be perceived as, is the result of what had went through in our little black box and a series of choices that we had made. It’s always the simple things that carry deeper meanings.

    But dont go too deep! Realising too much about the truth to life and reality can be somewhat depressing, demoralising and disgusting =P

    All I want is a WISE-&-CONTENTED-ALLISON!

  • Craig

    A little late on the comment but I can completely relate to that. It seems that things become so much easier to say when you’re not face to face. For some reason you can be more confident, honest, straightforward or whatever when your separated by that ‘piece of glass’. I find for myself it has something to do with a) having the time to gather my thoughts before I present them and b) not worrying about the immediate reaction as I’m not face to face.

    I think we all play roles everyday. There are people that you act like this around and people that you act like that around. Partially it’s to get what you want, partially it’s to fit in. It’s hard to find your one ‘true’ self. I know there are times that I’m still trying to figure it out and I lead a much less stressful life than yourself. All I can say is Keep searching, Keep learning.

  • Hannah

    Awesome job Allison! I admire you so much I think your a great actress and I love your website! It rocks! :D
    And I think you do an absolutely amazing job on Smallville so keep up the good work;)

  • Carlos Eduardo

    Sorry Allison, I was totally busy and also ill.

    About this topic, it’s an interesting thought and at the same time uncertain because an indeterminate time must have passed until you manage to be face-to-face with the truth, which will mean that your belief was right. Otherwise, time will keep passing by and you’ll never know whether you were right or wrong.

    Personally, I think that it’s not bad to have different attitudes for each role of your life. Sometimes you need to be funny, bad-tempered, free-minded and passionate, depending on the context that surrounds you. Just imagine an executive who likes to do practical jokes behaving in his true colours during a business meeting, maybe he wouldn’t be taken in serious.

    If you’re going to be accepted and loved, it must be for all of your 1000 Allisons and the others that you still don’t know, not only for the one who is charming or the one who is creative. It must be for the good ones and the bad ones. The person(s) who really loves you will be delighted of comprehending and loving your entire world.

  • Jared

    Enlightenment comes in knowing that you actually know nothing and understanding that there is no you, no ego. A little something I picked up reading the Tao Te Ching. LOL! Being different in different situations is something we all do. It’s all about adapting and responding to what the situation requires. As long as you don’t change who you really are essentially (being fake). Identity crisis is running rampant nowadays. I suffered from the same ailment and am still in recovery. You have to just think about what YOU, and no one else, want sometimes. It sounds selfish, but whos life are you living? Accepting the fact that you aren’t perfect no matter how much you try. You sound as though you’ve contemplated this issue for some time now. I applaud your honesty and openness concerning a subject most people never choose to address. No wonder there are so many unhappy and lost individuals in life. This journey to find your true self is noble, and every thousand mile journey starts with the first step. Never be afraid to be YOU no matter the circumstance. Never conform or become complacent, there is too much life has to offer.

  • Torias

    I’m having a graphics card issue, and can’t read everyone’s reply, but I’m sure I’ll just reiterate what a lot of people above have already said. I’ll do it anyway.

    There’s not a soul in North America who acts the same way with their parents as they do with their friends. I started cataloging the different aspects of my personality once in college, and I came out with seven or eight of me. There’s . . .

    Student Torias – I was in college, so naturally there was a studious side of me.
    Gamer Torias – I do so love a good round or five on the Playstation.
    Friend Torias – When a friend throws something at me, the proper response is to kick him and call him bad, bad names.
    Family Torias – Little to no goofing, all playing nice.
    Elderly Torias – I find that using big words properly makes older people like me. I’m not sure why.
    Joker Torias – My sense of humor is a weapon, and I like to stab people with it.
    Career Torias – The smallest of my masks is pathetically underused, but still necessary.
    Creative Torias – When I get the urge to write or draw, it’s very hard to resist. I try to avoid resisting.

    It’s impossible to act the same way around my computer instructor and my sister. Is one of them seeing the real me? Is either? As long as I keep them separate, I don’t care. Probably neither. Is the real Torias hidden behind one of the masks? More than one? An amalgam of all? Don’t know. All I can say as a certainty is that all these aspects exist and have their purpose.

    You don’t think “Torias,” is my real name, do you? :P

  • EVAN

    Hi Allison. First off I would like to wish you and your friends a happy Easter! I read where you said that all these different Allisons are simply people you play in order to obain the things you want. I think the fact that you know what you want is a big step towards knowing who you really are. I do wonder if you could still get the things you want if you didn’t change ” roles” between groups. If the answer is yes than maybe you can stop acting like so many different Allisons. If the answer is no than maybe you should reconsider your social circle.

  • Beth James

    My philosophy is as follows:

    Knowing who you are is the first step to becoming who you want to be.

  • Lisa

    Like everyone has said I think we all feel like this at points in our lives and it ebs and flows as to what is going on in your life, work wise, friend wise, family wise etc. Your ideas change as to what influences you are exposed to and you adapt to your surroundings and that makes you well rounded….not crazy or superficial :)

    I do think that everyone has a core being or ideal that is made up of your morals, integrity, compassion, etc. And I would think that by now you would have established what your general idea of self is (and I class this as the underlying basis for your decisions and behaviour, what your ‘gut’ tells you is right for you or wrong for you). So as long as you don’t change these personal ideals when taking on those different personas and stay grounded without changing yourself, I say embrace them all! And yeah that includes the perceived negative ones like the selfish side, the arrogant side, the egotistical side, the I want to be left alone side, the hide from the world side, because they keep you sane!!

    So knowing yourself is ‘deep’ I guess but I don’t think it has to be at a complicated depth.

    So therefore if you have to change this inner self to someone who you don’t recognise or want to be then you should rethink that situation…..

    As I’ve gotten older I’ve found it easier to distance myself from those who I am not comfortable with (i.e. they disrupt my core ideal), I mean I can interact with them, be polite and friendly but I don’t feel that I need to change my behaviour to make situations run smoothly. i surround myself with those who make me happy and I trust who have similar ideals.

    And a ‘full genuine life’ sounds great but I don’t think that is easily definable as it varies from person to person, changes as to the mood you’re in, what is happening at work, home etc, and there are so many variables that can influence this I think it is hard to come by SIGH! Then maybe I’m being unrealistic and a defeatist!!

    P.S Oh and TK, I totally get where you are coming from!!

  • Josh Thomas

    As everyone else that reads your blogs, I’m an addicted Smallville viewer that has watched since the Pilot. It still is surprising to read your blogs, because the preception we put on our Actors/Actress is of a “Being of Perfection” with no gliches from your Characters. Your honesty is enlighting and enhances my respect for you as a person not just as Chloe Sullivan. Good Luck with your current roles, but I will look forward to your characters of the future.

  • http://checkelsewhere.blogspot.com Kali

    I hve no idea who you are but saw another blogger singing your blog’s praises so here I am, and this post made a helluva lot of sense to me. I think everyone kinda feels like that sometimes…

    Then you get to thinking ‘hmmm, maybe I’m being manipulating by changing my character to fit with a given situation..’ but I think I prefer to call it ‘adapting’!

  • Anil

    When we look at a diamond in the light, each angle, each perspective displays a uniquely different image, with sparkles and shadows all to itself. What if instead of a variety of Allison personas, it’s simply various aspects of Allison that shine when exposed to different…light angles? OK, maybe that analogy wasn’t perfect, but you get the idea.

    What is the real Allison? I guess I wonder what the real Anil is sometimes. But is there is such a thing? A diamond can only be appreciated with light. And while one aspect may be more beautiful than another, no particular perspective is false; they are all equally true.

    Anyway, I enjoy the blog and figured I should comment. Ignore all of that if it seemed way out there, I drift…

  • Markus

    So as to not err on the side of caution, and perhaps because my monitors emit a warm glow of 72 hertz leading thus to an impenetrable force field of witty banter, I’m going to shoot straight… as an arrow.

    …I’d apologize if your heart gets in the way, but then I’m never sorry.

    Who is this masked man?

    Let me answer that question with more rhetoric, but with good reason, because in this world of stage, we are accustomed to wearing so many masks, most end up confusing them for their true identity.

    So what is this identity?

    Well okay now you may realize I’m not going to shoot straight…my quipidian onslaught allows me to shoot around corners though…here’s a hint: it’s a process of individualization.

    Between subtle shading and the absence of light lies the nuance of iqlusion.

    I won’t lie… I’m not one to watch a lot of tv, I’ve seen Smallville a handful of times and I’m a sucker for a girl with a smile that can light up a room. I was just gonna do my youtube/vlogging circuit and I saw your Mack Event round up on the front page and followed the trail of breadcrumbs thus leading me here.

    We live in a society where it’s just slightly taboo to simply address life’s bigger issues. Now this makes sense to some extent, because everyone deserves the opportunity to figure it out for them self. Yet it seems as though in the same right, we’re are being led, or like sheep to the slaughter, we are leading each other down the garden path. Doesn’t it seem that we have some sort of mass vulcan mind melt going on…that is to say, whether through apathy, fear, guilt, shame or stupidity, that we’re exhibiting something sort of like a collective mania?

    This human race is running into a wall. We know not only that we can do better, but our survival as we know it depends on it. Act accordingly … you might not want to go visit all the ley line hot spots and start your own religion, but you’ve gotta start somewhere.

    Some advice: be bold, but like Goldilocks, find something that is just right.

    Self discovery can be a group activity. We can move away from the model we have now, where it’s like a masquerade party where wearing the masks has become so common place we put on another one on top of another one until we lose count.

    You being an actress, makes it that much more obvious to your ilk. I am as awe struck as I am disgusted with someone who can cry on cue. It’s as inspiring as it is frightening, especially when we see the trend of certain stars entering the realm of politricks.

    It must be painfully obvious to you at times that this is a charade, a distraction, and that there is something so much more real just waiting for us to rediscover it.

    So do you even read all these comments, or is this just some ego boost?

    You invoke a quasi-Jennifer Love Hewitt vibe, but I’ve decided you’re more down to earth. I hope you read every message. At least until you hit perma A-list status and your people do all the reading for you.

    Here’s to you actually reading this, speaking of reading, language is synthetic, it’s another mask. Have fun with that.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q95kX_EP2Nk

    http://zeitgeistmovie.com/

  • Keith

    I have had this exact debate with myself. The conclusion I came to was that only extremely selfish people don’t adapt and change based on what situation they are in. You ARE all of those people at one time. You just choose to show different sides of yourself based on the people around you and the conditions you are in.

    As long as you are true to yourself and not having to pretend to be something you are not (except when you are acting of course!), I think you are doing just fine.

  • http://allpoetry.com/poem/by/rewop777 Eduardo Canessa

    Burning masks
    I look around to the crowd of masks
    I hold mine to my face and wonder
    Wonder why I am wearing it
    And as I look again it cracks

    The mask crumbles in my hand
    Then I proceed to crush it
    My foot disolves my sin
    My lies die along with it

    My voice raises to the heavens
    The army of masks looks my way
    I salute them with middle fingers
    And a crecendo of fakery reaches me

    My ears echo with the lies I´ve told
    I said what was proper, what was expected
    Well now I say what I want to, where I want to
    The army of masks can shove their fake words

    Their complaints fall of deaf ears
    Their masks are met with my precious spit
    I walk through the army not loosing a step
    I walk out the room as I change

    The clothes of society left behind
    Replaced by the clothes of my soul
    My hair goes from clean cut to wild
    I go from shakled to free forever

    I turn around and salute them once again
    I take an zealous and curtious bow
    And I turn around walking out forever
    Leaving the mask behind me to be forgotten

    Then I turn around once again,
    A bottle of everclear in my hand
    I throw it in the room watching it break
    I light a smoke and throw the match down

    The room lights ablaze viciously
    The masks, the army, all burns to ash
    I watch the celebration of my freedom
    As I avenge what was done to me

    I smile an absolutely true smile, the one I had never smiled
    As I attone for my sins, as I erase my fake past
    The carnival of flames reaches its peak with a bang
    As I watch burning masks and revel in their true scream

  • FrankTheTank

    Think about the person you are when nobody else is around “Alone-Alison”… that is who Alison is. When other people are around us or different situations engulf us we tend to mold into ourselves into a part of that force, it’s only human nature….

    Take me for example: I’m a guy with broader shoulders and a thick build. People expect me to be a kind of tough guy. So, when I am around others, I tend to give off that persona. But, put me at home by myself and I turn to an deeply emotional person… I mean, I’ve even wetted an eyelash or two watching stuff on TV… not sad stuff, but happy moments… like when the Goonies re-unite with their families on the beach. I like to sing songs that my friends would consider a little too girly (She’s Like the Wind, More than Words, etc…). I don’t readily admit as a grown-up that I watch Smallville (unless it’s to say I watch because of you and Kristen). I can’t wait to find someone that I can share this side of myself with, without fearing judgment…. someone where we don’t have to change ourselves to be with, because that is true love, that is agape love…

    I hope that you, being the famous/fabulous person you are, with people having a pre-determined archetype for your personality, can find someone that you can be “Alone-Alison” with… if you know what I mean…

    Unless you’ve already found that person… I don’t know, I just now found this website… don’t know if you have a BF already… If so, congrats! If not… well, I would take you out, but I’ve been pretty busy lately. Call me in about a month and I should be able to clear my schedule for you… ha ha just kidding… …but seriously… call me =)

  • Tom

    Perhaps there is no gestalt entity that is referred to when that solitary but all important letter is uttered… “I”.

    Keep up the philosophical inquiry! It’s nice to see that whatever you might be, it’s not necessarily “Airhead Alison”.

  • Chris

    How am I not myself?

  • Daniel

    Hey ! You are a really amasing , I have seen you on tv show but your much more awsome in reality. Always hoped to meet some person like you, with such personnality. Please add me : Zap_chock2@hotmail.com

    I’d really like to chat with you ! You sound like a cool girl !

    Cya

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →