Scare

Lou Says:
September 4th, 2008 at 4:07 pm

anything can inspire change. looking at the right random object. noticing a theme in a movie or tv show. conversations. books. illness, death, and even birth.

but whether or not we decide to ACTUALLY change is up to each person. I can want to change. I can TRY to change. but that doesn’t mean I will. there has to be EFFORT and AMBITION.

Personally, what inspires change in myself is realizing my own potential and wanting to achieve it. but attaining one’s own potential is like constantly dividing. you can get closer and closer and closer to the ultimate goal, but it’s nothing more than an ideal situation. ideal is never met. ideal is utopia (if you will). I want to be the best I can. this is why we all learn. when we stop learning, we stop growing. stopping growth is to stop yourself from going up in the world. then you’re just stuck.

I want to change to prevent getting myself stuck in life. not just my skills, but also ethically/morally, spiritually, and socially.

what do I want to change in myself, specifically? everything. not a total change, but more like improvements. more ambition, being less lazy, noticing more in life that I’m missing out on. things like that. oh yeah. and getting into shape. :P

I found this post to be really well stated and very beautiful. Thank you, Lou.

I feel that change for me happens in two ways. Either I see something amazing and I am inspired to strive for it, or I feel so uncomfortable, so totally sick of myself and the way I am doing something that I shift.

Obviously the former is much more optimal than the latter. However, I must say that the latter is much more effective. Change is scary. Doing something new? AHHHH! Holy shit!

It is so funny, because I watch myself opening my eyes to something I want to be, something I see inspires me to push myself to grow. But if it is really something new, something so beautiful, yet so foreign, often I will make up all these excuses, generate all these lies so that I have a reason to stay the same. And even though fear totally sucks, it’s familiar and much more appealing than the unknown.

I have so much respect for people who unabashedly dive into the unknown. People who stare into the abyss of uncertainty and embrace it. Those who seek that are truly the leaders and change makers.

Eleanor Roosevelt said we should “Do one thing every day that scares us.” But what really scares us, not fake, “I- wanna- get- out- of- pushing- myself- or- trying- something- new” scares us.

So I challenge you as I am challenging myself, take on something scary, something unknown and new, and embrace it.

Dive in and see what happens.

Keep me posted!

I wanna know about your progress!

xo
allison

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  • Darwin

    taylor nikole:

    Do you have a hard time finding good monologues?

    There is one…

    *thinks*

    SOMEWHERE IN TIME…movie Jane Seymore is acting onstage breaks from script…but still in character…she starts talking to Christopher Reeves character in the audience…

  • taylor nikole

    hahah now i’m pretty prepared…
    hahah
    *thinks* yes yes

    butttt….
    im online on the computer in my bathroom…is that weird? how many people can say that haha…
    actually im just on stressing to get everything done at the same time… and i used my laptop for music when i took a shower hahah
    but im still on the comuter in the bathroom… how sad is that??

    hmm but finding good monologues….
    not so much :)
    haha

  • Darwin

    Okay taylor nikole…I’m SURE your Mom has seen the movie…maybe even HAS a copy?

    Somewhere In Time

    Or you could rent it…pretty sure it is NOT on DVD.

    So you will have to search a VIDEO store.
    Or perhaps online?

    Wait!

    I have a copy of that monologue!

    I used it while casting a movie last year!

    Do you have an username/account on the allisonmack.com forum (If you don’t, you should! It’s fun!)

    I could get it to you that way!

  • Nathiest

    Wow… Allison are just so LAME!!!!!! f this I’m mobile.

  • taylor nikole

    hahah yeah i do…
    i think i have an account on there….
    its taylornikole…. prettttyyy sure :)

  • skahahoo

    Omigosh…Darwin, WHY do you have the CRAZIEST stories??? lol.

    Amanda…whew! I’m really glad everything turned out ok. Your story ties Darwin’s for craziest spider story.

    David Hayes…I hope you’re back to normal, or at least almost back to normal. I hope your employers give you a raise now that they see you invaluable you are. :)

    Ralph…please come back safely!

    Hmm…I can’t think of anything right now that I’m scared of doing. I mean, besides eating a live roach or something gross like that. I have a general fear of disappointing my parents and not fulfilling my potential before my time is up. Eventually, I’d like to go work for Doctors without Borders, which I think will be a very big challenge for me, but I have to finish my medical training first. And I have to learn French. I think it’s going to be harder for me to learn French. lol.

  • Darwin

    Skahahoo! How are you? Long time no type!

    Re: CRAZY stories…*laughs* I am just happy to SURVIVE!

    You should learn Canadian French first!
    It is actually a mixture…less so perhaps in Quebec…you would have to ask Boroux about that!

    But in the rest of the country..Un, Deux, Trois…GO! is some of what you find…

    AND up here you can learn French from cereal boxes and your other groceries!

    Doctors Without Borders! WAYYY COOL!

    So is BEING a Doctor actually!

    I have met quite a few.

    Professionally. *smiles*

    (I have pretty good emergency room banter)

  • taylor nikole

    my french teacher won’t let us listen to canadian french :)
    haha
    French 2 woo!
    I think im doing okay so far….

  • taylor nikole

    sooo i was looking at those directors countdown things… and some said ‘watch smallville’

    is it weird watching yourself on tv?

    like i have videos of plays and i look at it and people say ‘oh you were sooo great’ but im like… what the hell was i doing?
    although i love it…
    soo whatever

    hahaha
    just a random question that popped into my mind…

  • Scott

    Darwin: Thanks for the interesting info! It’s good to know that it’s not simply a philosophy, but an actual practical approach toward real world problems. While I can say embracing the cold is helpful, I’ve clearly never had to use it in serious circumstances.

    I used to do it while taking showers and baths in cold water, mostly. Not for swimming, because swimming you have to just dive right in and swim to warm up (which is the reason the water’s cold; you swim, your body heat rises, but the heat goes off you and into the colder water surrounding your body).

  • Darwin

    Scott: While working as a lumberjack in northern Canada…as a 17 year old…so I was just a bit older than taylor nikole then…I fell through the ice in a river.

    And I am pretty certain I came out faster than I went in!

    To be honest, I was already soaked…as when one cuts trees in the frosty north they are covered in snow..which falls down heavy on you whilst you cut them.

    Hence a BIG pile of snow for every tree…multiplied by a large number of trees for one workday…and yeah I was soaked.

    And a five mile walk back ahead of me.

    And I slipped while crossing a log fallen over a little jut in the river…then fell through the ice…in a shallow part…so
    kindly there was footing…when I got to my feet and leaped in reaction to the very extreme cold of the water.

    Got to the mouth of the river…where it empties into the lake and it was a whiteout.

    Snowstorm.

    On a lake.

    I have to cross.

    In rising snowbanks.

    With a sigh and a prayer I ducked my head and trudged forward.

    Come up the opposite bank about a 100 feet to the east of town.

    Got to my place of residence and when I took off my clothes they stood up by themselves.

    So I left them leaning against the wall.

    Crawled into bed and had phenomia(sp).

  • Amanda

    Hey Darwin–Let’s just say I’ve met some um interesting (I guess would be the polite term) people on blind dates. I had one guy that wanted to go to the grocery store and get food because it was cheaper. I had one who’s hobby was making parchment paper out of animal skins. I had one who hit on my best friend in front of me. I could go on but I’ll spare you. :) Let’s just say I’ve been traumatized in the dating department.

  • Amanda

    oh and Darwin–Somewhere in Time is my Mama’s all time favorite movie.

  • Ralph

    Thanks Darwin

  • Darwin

    I hear you Amanda! I have been pretty much emergency room-resusitate traumatized myself…so to speak!

    Did you end the date IMMEDIATELY when the guy hit on your best friend in front of you?

    “Somewhere In Time” is your mother’s all time favorite movie? EXCELLENT taste your mother has!

    I take it then…you have seen it also?

    Ralph: You are quote welcome…

    And…

    Thank-YOU.

    *salutes*

  • Amanda

    Darwin– Let’s just say there was a lot of drama a long time ago. I really should have clarified that she was one of my best friends at that time. The short version of a really long story is that the two of them actually got married and have two children. It took a long time but I don’t feel that old resentment anymore when I run into them. It’s strange how it all worked out.

    And on a another note–I have seen Somewhere in Time but it’s been a while.

  • Darwin

    Amanda: So it was in ACTUALITY a loving SACRIFICE on your part so they could be happy!

    Did they send you a thank-you note?

    And yes…it is good that you got over your resentment as SO MANY people do not.

    Very admirable of you!

    I myself have helped MANY a female realize they would excitedly grind me into the dust to get to someone else!

    I am happy that they are happy…

    I would have PREFERRED a nicer approach on thier part.

    But hey! I let go of the resentments and healed as well.

    And I AM happy…just a bit…frightened…
    to enter such territory again!

  • Amanda

    Darwin–I’m afraid I’m going to have to give credit to the Lord for that. Had it not been for Him, I’d still be holding on to that grudge.

    And, I say any woman that stepped on you thinking they were headed for something better is not worth your time to begin with. So, best of luck jumping back into the dating pool. Just beware of the sharks. haha

  • Darwin

    Amanda: Your part was that you trusted in Him enough to listen!

    Just as I did.

    And back atcha about the whole stepping back into the dating pool thing!

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    Somewhere in Time.

    I love the paradox in it, but people I talk to don’t seem to see the issue. How did the watch come into being? He gets it because she gave it to him. She had it because he kleft it behind when he returned from the past. It may be a closed loop … unless … the watch got destroyed or stolen after he left it and she had an identical looking watch made that she gave to him … and it turns out to be the same watch doing a litle loop in time. But if she never lost possession of it until she gave him the watch and he never lost possession of it until he left it in the past with her … then the watch was never made and only exists in a circular loop of time.

    Mackenaw (sp?) Island in Michigan is where that movie was made. I visited teh island and rode past the hotel in a horse drawn vehicle … because automobiles are not permitted on the island.

    Oh, skahahoo, I can’t get BACK to normal … because I never have been there.

    I’m going back to work Monday. It will seem like a vacation. I’ve been emptying out my Mother-in-law’s house and sleeping in my car (easier to keep upright in a car seat and there is no furniture in the house anymore — just thousand of nick-nacks (no patty-wack or patty-melts) and the ‘debris’ of a lifetime on 4 floors).

  • Darwin

    David Hayes: Psst! You’re suppossed to let the emotional impact of the story carry you BEYOND such considerations…

    AND…

    I have not seen it recently enough to EVEN make up an inaccurate but entertaining conceit (as in “something conceived in the mind, a thought, idea”)

    UNLESS!!!!

    The watch ORIGINATED in the black hole/worm hole/spatial distortion…and was created for those time travellers who ALSO wanted to boil an egg…or time someone’s pulse…or so they could have something to pawn!

    I LOVE the movie!

    SO COOL you got to go there David!

    YES! I heard automobiles were not permitted on the island and I have wanted to go there for so long!

    Seems like a romantic place for a date too…I could even overcome my fear of dating for a date there!

    Someday I will take a walk around the island…have a horse drawn carriage ride go shopping and dine in the hotel with some female yet to be named!

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    You could walk TO the island in the winter. I think I remember hearing that they supplied the island across the ice in mid-winter … but that is farther than I would want to go over water that deep. I think they also fly the horses elsewhere in winter … at least some of them. It’s a great place for college students to get a summer job — lots of little shops and shopkeepers providing the place to live all summer.

    There used to be a fort on the island and some nasty goings on that I can’t remember.

  • Dasha

    First I am new here so I am learning how to write here, I hope its ok!

    I read your past posts and I have to say someone who very much inspires me is English teacher from English camp here in Belarus in 2005. She is a girl who always is trying new things and does lots of changes in her life. She was just 20 when she came to Belarus and she already was teacher in Mongolia and Afrika. Also she move to Alaska by herself and then other part of USA now. And she just had big driving adventure through Canada.

    Always she is volunteer herself to help other people. She volunteer at childrens hospitals and teaching English and helping children with needs.

    I think she is big inspiration for me to try change in my life. She is good role model because she is young woman making change in life with her own confidense. So my scary thing is to try to be a bit like her.

    Maybe you like to see her internet site? It is raymenie.wordpress.com

    And also I need to say I love Smallville and Chloe!!!!

  • Brittany

    Hey Allison, I know that my comments are going to be late but hopefully you’ll be able to read some of them. Hmm embracing a change. Sounds like my type of challenge. I completely agree with you on how you want to change but then you lie or try to get out of changing. I do it all the time. But sometimes if I really want to do it, then I strive and stick to it no matter what! Alright well happy thinking, Britt

  • Seth

    I must say that I have always had the biggest fear of heights. I fear for my life if I have to stand more than four feet off the ground. I do try and challenge this fear from time to time, however. I work at Blockbuster Video, and every Tuesday we have to change the large sign above the counter that displays which movies are now available for rent and which ones are coming soon. This involves climbing a ladder and teetering on the edge of certain doom. Even though this terrifies me and I could easily get my co-worker to do it in my stead, I always take the opportunity to do it because I feel like I am doing something good for myself by conquering my fear on a weekly basis.

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