Circles

Do you ever feel like you are chasing your tail? Like you are repeating yourself over and over and over again, without actually getting anywhere? I feel like that right now.

Like, I know what I want and where I want to go, but to actually take the next step seems colossal, so I stay chasing my tail, spinning in circles and wearing a hole in the ground because I can’t seem to spin anywhere else.

It is feeling inspired and frozen at the same time; feeling the need to sprint with my feet super glued to the starting blocks. Am I alone with this?

xo
allison

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  • Maguii

    I belive that everyone have those questions and we always try to answer them immediately…
    I have the same fellings! But i start to think where i am, what i’ve got (friends and family) and also that every mistake or step we make it’s a lesson.
    Kisses and hugs, allison! =)

  • http://www.myspace.com/LisaGail13 LisaGail

    I think this feeling comes around from time to time for all of us. I’ve found that if I’m repeating something over and over, it’s because there’s still something that I need to do somewhere in the circle. Either better, or different, or more in someway or another. There’s an experence or detail that’s being over looked. Or it could be that someone else inside that circle isn’t quite ready for you to begin a new path. Best advice yet, enjoy it . . . this too shall pass :)

  • Phil Damico

    “Climb the stairway to the stars one step at a time.”
    -Unknown

  • Magie

    Couldn’t have described my current mood any better. For me college seems like a constant circle because I know what I want to do and am pretty good at it so I don’t to wait four years and spend thousands to do it. I know that in the end it will all be worth it and pay off but right now I hate how useless it seems at the moment.

  • Phil Damico

    “It is more important to know where you are going then to get there quickly.”
    -Mabel Newcomber

  • Melissa

    I feel the same. Maybe the reason why I’m doing the same thing over and over again and I’m stuck in one thing is because I might be afraid of what’s next for me, what is on my future, I’m only 16 and sometimes I wonder if I’m gonna get what I always wanted, like a wonderful job or a stable place to live, with all these moves between Spain and Peru I don’t even know where I’m going to live, I feel like my future is unclear…..but I can change that, because I do know what I want but I’m afraid of getting it. I’m afraid of loosing or forget all these good experiences and great people because at some point I will have to live them to get what I want, and that scares the heck out of me.

  • taylor nikole

    “but I can change that, because I do know what I want but I’m afraid of getting it. I’m afraid of loosing or forget all these good experiences and great people because at some point I will have to live them to get what I want, and that scares the heck out of me.”

    if you think about it, being so ‘young’ we haven’t gotten a chance to really be on our own yet… so I’d expect it to be scary.
    We say we want so many things, plan out years in advance how we are going to accomplish it…
    but when it really gets down to it… we’re afraid.
    i guess that goes for almost every body though.
    We always tend to in a way doubt.. its inevitable.

  • taylor nikole

    My quote collection for the day… maybe a little to think on (just fun and yes i have them for the day :-p)

    Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.
    –Evan Esar

    “There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.”

    “Although little knowledge is dangerous, so is a lot. I guess this makes me the most dangerous person in the universe.”

    Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

    –Laurence J. Peter

    Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.
    –Floyd Dell

    “Laziness is the ambition to do nothing”
    –Taylor Hughes I (friend)

    I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
    –George Bernard Shaw

    Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt… Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
    –Robert Anton Wilson

    Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
    –David T. Wolf

    Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

    –Laurence J. Peter

    Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
    –Frank Leahy

  • Brittany

    You are not alone dear Allison! I’ve struggled with the same thing, not moving forward, repeating something frequently and then I get the boost to actually get to the next step. I’m in the midst of watching Camp Nowhere. You are so cute!!!!! I can’t believe that’s you. I wish I had that oppurtunity to have acted at such a young age especially in a movie! Just hold on a little bit, you’ll get through, I know you will, Much love and support, Brittany XOXO

  • http://deleted Robin

    Don’t worry Allison, as the above comments state, we all feel this way sometimes.

    We all have ambitions and places where we picture ourselves yet feel as though we are standing still.

    As the saying goes sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.

    Remember each day is a journey and each experience we have (hopefully) educates us and shapes our future decisions.

    Having been accepted back in the Police Service I feel as though I’ve come full circle, but with any luck a bit older and a little wiser and a lot richer for having different experiences which I hope gives me a better ability to relate with others.

    Look at it this way…we are all constantly moving on this big object called Earth, which is in constant motion, it just appears to be standing still, the reality is we all grow and develop it just doesn’t always feel like it.

    If you are in any doubt, just list all the things you have achieved over the past year- just think how many lives you have had AND continue to have such a positive influence on.

    If all else fails I look bag on old photos of myself and can clearly see an expanding waistline and a receding hairline…haha.. things change alright!

    Keep having fun.

    Robin

  • Taty

    I know exactly how you feel, Allison. I actually have the same feeling sometimes.
    But when I’m Mixed up, confused, happy, sad, excited, guilty, hurt, grateful, hopeful, hopeless, regret, etc… I always put my trust in God and He gives me peace of mind and heart. So, I feel so much better!!! :)
    Take care!
    xoxo

  • viviane

    hi!
    Allison can assure that you are not alone, because everyone has felt walking in circles at least once in a lifetime! I’m feeling well at the moment! :)
    but this goes! This feeling bad is passenger!
    I hope you get well soon and if you feel better fast!

    take care … love
    viviane – Brazil
    xoxo :)

  • Scott123

    Life is a struggle. Not all the time, but sometimes. It is, sadly, the doom of the artist that, not only do they struggle, but examine the struggle as well. I would like to point out that some of the greatest art comes from artists who struggled. I would humbly say-that circle can become a comfort zone. If that becomes the case, find another means of struggling. ;)

    Your friend in the 210th lap
    Scott123

  • jennygirl

    I feel like this at times, but when I look back at where I was 5 years ago…10 years ago, much progress has been made. Like raising kids….longest days, and the fastest years. Home with a baby….will I ever have my life back again? Then your son is suddenly 8, and you wonder what happened to your cute little babes?

    Relax….breathe…..enjoy right now.

  • http://www.myspace.com/malleable_me Krystal

    Day in and day out I say to This student “Be respectful to all human beings.” I say to That student “Please consider your actions and the way that they will affect others.” Yet, I never come to a point where my gentle reminders are not needed. One student needs it one day and then a new one tomorrow. Some days I think that it would be just as effective to slam my head into a brick wall than to keep repeating the things I believe that my students need to hear….but I know if I persist in my circular behavior….some how, someone will benefit from the diligence of standing firm in what motivates me….and that will essentially be forward motion that may be unknown to me forever. Yet there is forward motion.

    Did I make any sense? lol.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shinefloyd_luigi shinefloyd / luigi

    Yes… I do… and sometimes like a dog with two tails!!
    and spinning in “perfect circles”.
    But always with a BIG smile.

    Allison… go ahead! you can!

    ps to David Hayes…
    another brick in the wall??? lol
    ok… “The Final Cut” (Roger Waters):

    “Through the fish-eyed lens of tear stained eyes
    I can barely define the shape of this moment in time
    And far from flying high in clear blue skies
    I’m spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide.”……..

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    Seven years as Chloe … heading towards nine. Is that a problem? Most of us who live in one character (yet evolving/devolving over time) have to learn to express ourselves through … ourselves. But for someone who puts on someone else’s life as a garment to express herself, can being one character so long be a trap … or can the creativity continue to shine through?

    I can relate in that, for a period of years, I had at most 3 weeks and often less to create a product from a concept. I got so well conditioned to function under ridiculous timelines that I can lo longer design in a leisurely way. I am stuck on full speed ahead. Then along came a project that kept being redefined so that I was working on the same product for over a year. It’s hard to operate at a crawl when I have been trained to believe that everything will fall apart if decisions can’t be made in moments. I just want to say, “Come back in a year when you make up your mind about what you want.” So if I am asked what I would do if I had all the time in the world … I would probably have to answer, “Go crazy.” I’m used to diversity. I’m used to moving on. I don’t think I could handle doing exactly the same thing day after day … but then, when I was in school, I never thought I could handle a job without occasional (yearly) 3 month breaks. Then I went into the world and didn’t take a vacation in a decade. You don’t really know what you can handle until you face it. Also, being creative can provide an escape. When my creativity at work got stifled, that’s when the stories started pouring out of me. Outlets are important. Too many outlets are draining. Dealing with success is sometimes harder than dealing with failure … especially if you have a lot of experience failing. When the job market was tough, I went from temp job to temp job to temp job … never finding work in an area that I was an expert at. So I grew tremendously. When times were stable and I didn’t move around, I learned much less. It’s a tricky thing, getting enough adversity in a life to grow and not so much that you can’t survive it.

  • http://allisonmack.com Lori Bennett

    you are definately not alone in that feeling. as many of us on this site express our own stories-I can say for myself that going to class during the day and working in the evenings and trying to fit church, family, friends in that time that remains still trying to fit that little of me time in to unwind. I find myself chasing my tail constantly-doing project after project plus the homework and i get one finished and start another just to go to class the next day to get more in different classes and its like “does the cycle ever end.” lol. ur not alone allison my friend, we all have our daily routines and whether we are honest w/ ourselves we chase our tails too. can’t wait to see the episode u are directing. all the luck to you girlfriend.

  • Kyle

    Yeah, I hate the feeling. It’s extremely stagnant and unproductive. I have found if you set reasonable goals and follow through on them you are more likely to accomplish you’re purpose.

  • taylor nikole

    “Seven years as Chloe … heading towards nine. Is that a problem? Most of us who live in one character (yet evolving/devolving over time) have to learn to express ourselves through … ourselves. But for someone who puts on someone else’s life as a garment to express herself, can being one character so long be a trap … or can the creativity continue to shine through?”

    hmm this is kinda true :)
    Each week my acting coach challenges me to become a new character.
    So I’m either me… or my character…
    its a weird but cool concept and feeling.
    talking about shining…
    you make yourself shine and your character shine so if it were an alter ego…
    would we infact be two people at once? or just one?

    But I was saying, through exploring characters I’ve become more comfortable with being someone else.
    When I find the difference between them… or try to analyze, im afraid to explore me.
    Being a character gives you hope….
    you can be a character, act out a character in everyday life…
    but when do you really discover when you aren’t acting opposed to when you’re being youself.
    I’ve found myself struggling mentally with that.
    Its really odd to think about.

  • http://www.chloesullivansite.com/ Bouroux

    Hi Allison.
    Often when I want to do too many things at the same time, I’ve the impression that I am chasing my tail.
    Because we did not see the beginning and end. I think not see the end of the process is a source of concern. There are a link with the ego.
    Not knowing the end increases the risk.
    If the alternative of the status quo is present, the choice is easy. I think we should take small uncertain projects for take confidence.
    I work at the same place for 18 years and the idea of making a change is not in the program. The internal changes provide me enough challenges.
    For an actor, projects have limited duration. The length of some is only a few months, another few years. Play the same character for 8 years allows to develop and you’ve done wonderfully.
    Alice and Huck is the beginning of the transition and it’is a success.
    Directing an episode is another step.
    Playing Brainiac in the body of Chloe will be an amazing challenge.
    Watch episodes of Smallville and discover why your fans appreciate your performance. The self-esteem must be used as a catalyst and not a brake.
    Takes care of you and enjoys the present season.
    Good night.

    Bye
    Claude.

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    There have been cases in soap operas when an actor has played a single character for decades!

    When I was writing a lot of random stories and finally challenged myself to do a seires of at least 20 revolving around a single character’s life, the main part of the challenge became defining a single character so well as to breathe life in her — consistant as a person is … and as inconsistant … struggling for identity as I struggled to find what would make her real to me and others. I wanted to see if I could do a written portrait of a person’s life. I imagine the goals must be similar when acting to make a character live.

    The thing I wonder about was if the writers for “Smallville” made Chloe more and more like Allison … wrote the role as her fictionalized … or …. Starting over. Where is Chloe in character so different from Allison that Allison has to reach to be her? Of course, Allison isn’t experiencing the losses and fears and riumphs that Chloe does, but where are the core philosophical differences where Chloe and Allison would, in conversation, have basic disagreements? Because the character and actress are becoming so tightly identified in many viewers’ minds, I would love to see her (and imagine she would like to have this happen as well) in a drastically different role. And, sadly, I can’t say what that role would be. The real challenge would probably be as a serial killer or mass murderess. And I hate to say that because stories about serial killers are almost becoming a genre in themselves and that’s a shame. We seem obsessed with them and God help us if our interest in them spawn more of them. The character I envision would be strong and impact the story through direct action and not manipulation — at least not the cliche type of female manipulation … maybe the ‘mastermind’ type of manipulation where an understanding of human nature is incorporated in a clever, inticate, fool-proof plan. Another option would be a biographical piece about a pivotal historical figure that hasn’t gotten her dues.

  • taylor nikole

    hehe my friend was like…
    omg, the shrewd humor, snarkiness, slightly rude personality (at times)…
    and that nosey personality…

    apparently the character of chloe reminded her of someone, as she glared at me :)
    yikes…
    but hey its not a bad thing….
    i guess haha
    also being ambitious is a good thing and independent…

    eh david?
    lol

  • http://myspace silvia

    I been feeling that way for years now…spinning in circles. sometimes it seems like the rest of the world is having fun around me. Each chapter in our lives is a journey, that will soon become a memory…we must live in our chapter as if it is the most important one! Believe it or not, your performance as Chloe Sullivan every Thursday is the highlight of my week. You and Tom together on screen brings JOY to my life.

  • http://www.jephthahs-domain.com Sarah

    All the freakin’ time. Especially being a music major I feel like I just re-learn the stay stuff over and over without ever getting anywhere.

    But then I play something I couldn’t play 2 years ago–I do get better. It just seems to go so slow sometimes. :)

  • Puffy

    Personally I feel like I’m travelling in triangles. Circles have smooth progression back to the start… triangles have sharp turns and pointy ends.

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    Puffy,

    Just as long as they aren’t Bermuda trianlges … while wearing Bermuda shorts … while eating Bermuda onions. That’s tempting fate. And don’t travel in a polygon … or your parrot will disappear!

    ===========

    A friend named her cat Isosceles
    (after the triangle) and the human society was concerned that the name was Satanic. I think the people at the human society were thinking of “Mestopholes.”

  • alicia

    I know this feeling very well… Allison…i had an anxiety crisis for a long time cuase of it. (Its frustating, I have this feeling when i try speak english!)
    Sometimes we are so obsessed with the goal that did not enjoy the way…
    “Life is what is happening to you while you are committed to making other plans” (or something like that). John Lennon.

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    One tough thing about posting a log like this, sometimes you can’t tell if a blog like this is simply a philisophical inquiry … or a cry for help. I’m hoping its the former.

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    log = blog

    I keep dropping letters.

    Now I’ll have to vacuum.

  • Steve Heath

    To Tony,

    Thanks for reading my post and for the kind words.

    It is appreciated.

    Regards,

    Steve Heath

  • http://www.thinkvirtue.com SolShine7

    You’re not alone in this. Sara Groves writes this in a song, “I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked. The future seems so hard and I want to go back. But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I’ve learned. And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned.” Keep pressing on Allison!

  • nobody-agan

    body-again@allisonmack.com

    It’s not you, it’s the evil forces surrounding you that prevent you from making any headway. I’ve been spinning is circles for years, everytime I try to take a step forward, something hits me so hard I’m knocked back a hundred steps and I have to start over again, but after being knocked down so many fucking times, I don’t bother to try to get back up, I just said fuck it, I give up!

    Ok, by.

  • Dick B

    Dear Allison,

    I guess my first question is are you looking for advice or sympathy. What I like is that you are making yourself vulnerable in order to find the answer.

    Chasing your tail? Maybe you need to do it a certain number of times before you can commit to the answer you seem to already know. It can be scary out there, but I have confidence in your ability to proceed.

    Dick B

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    I’m reminded of a song.

    “Windmills of Your Mind”

    Round, like a circle in a spiral
    Like a wheel within a wheel.
    Never ending or beginning,
    On an ever spinning wheel
    Like a snowball down a mountain
    Or a carnaval balloon
    Like a carousell that’s turning
    Running rings around the moon

    Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
    Past the minutes on it’s face
    And the world is like an apple
    Whirling silently in space
    Like the circles that you find
    In the windmills of your mind

    Like a tunnel that you follow
    To a tunnel of it’s own
    Down a hollow to a cavern
    Where the sun has never shone
    Like a door that keeps revolving
    In a half forgotten dream
    Or the ripples from a pebble
    Someone tosses in a stream.

    Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
    Past the minutes on it’s face
    And the world is like an apple
    Whirling silently in space
    Like the circles that you find
    In the windmills of your mind

    Keys that jingle in your pocket
    Words that jangle your head
    Why did summer go so quickly
    Was it something that I said
    Lovers walking allong the shore,
    Leave their footprints in the sand
    Was the sound of distant drumming
    Just the fingers of your hand

    Pictures hanging in a hallway
    And a fragment of this song
    Half remembered names and faces
    But to whom do they belong
    When you knew that it was over
    Were you suddenly aware
    That the autumn leaves were turning
    To the color of her hair

    Like a circle in a spiral
    Like a wheel within a wheel
    Never ending or beginning,
    On an ever spinning wheel
    As the images unwind
    Like the circle that you find
    In the windmills of your mind

    Pictures hanging in a hallway
    And the fragment of this song
    Half remembered names and faces
    But to whom do they belong
    When you knew that it was over
    Were you suddenly aware
    That the autumn leaves were turning
    To the color of her hair

    Like a circle in a spiral
    Like a wheel within a wheel
    Never ending or beginning,
    On an ever spinning wheel
    As the images unwind
    Like the circles that you find
    In the windmills of your mind

  • Sherann Johnson

    No, my dear Allison you are not alone:). I have been dealing with the same problem for some time now. I have this goal, this dream that I want to accomplish, but lately it feels like I’m not getting any closer. I still feel greatly inspired and motivated to achieve this goal, but taking the journey to get to it does seem….well, as you said colossal.

    For me it’s just a matter of patience. I have this destiny thats far bigger than I could ever imagine, and I can’t wait to get there, but right now I just need to be patient and get the college education I need before I go chasing the stars:)

  • Sherann Johnson

    To be honest there are a lot of college kids who feel this way.

    We all do this thing called college where everyday we do the same thing. We get up, go to classes, eat, study, and then go to bed. Then the next day we do it all over again. Don’t get me wrong college is a great experience. But we as college students also have a goal (a major). Some of us though after 1 or 2 years of college grow weary of our journey to reach our goal. We start to ask questions like,”I this what I really want to do with my life?” and questions like, “I’m going to be in college forever…do I really want to do this.” And then there are those of use who don’t know what we want to do and just kind of keep going to college. The years it can take for us to get through college can give us this feeling that all we are doing is going in circles.

  • Tony

    Since I’m writing at the end of so much advice, I wonder if I can’t consolidate some of the issues that have already been discussed, see if this describes part of our group windmill:

    If we know what we want, but it seems so colossal to take the next step, I’m thinking that it may mean leaving something behind that is important to us, and starting on something new and challenging that might not succeed. Is it possible to continue to test the waters and not leave behind something we’re not yet ready to part with? Or, is the next step colossal enough that we will need more time to accomplish it than our present circumstances would allow?

    Some more questions: Are my goals actually taking me in different, possibly conflicting directions? Are they going to get in the way of each other. Am I feeling conflicted because it seems as if now is my best chance to take this step, that the opportunities might not be as good in the future? But, on the other hand, do I feel like I’m being forced into rushing it as if Life is a used car salesman telling me that I’ll never get as good a deal as this if I turn this one down?

  • Sherann Johnson

    just adding onto my comment before tony. Yea so don’t feel down:) We all have those times in our life when we just feel stuck. If you believe in prayer, I would pray for more opportunities to open up.

  • http://www.myspace.com/rostafarian Ross UK

    I know exactly what you mean Allison. I’m at a point in my life now where everything seems to be falling apart at the seams – things are regressing to about the point where I was about five years ago and just finishing university. It’s supposed to be the time where everything is laid out ahead of you, ready for the taking, but instead you can find yourself making so many false starts you wonder if you’re ever going to be able to get going again.

    It’s most frustrating when you manage to build up a bit of momentum and you think to yourself “OK, here we go” and suddenly you hit a brick wall and you’re stalled again. It’s times like that we need something or someone around us to help us to our feet and try again. I’m reminded of the quote from Batman Begins: “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

  • Christnot

    {{Life is a struggle. Not all the time, but sometimes. It is, sadly, the doom of the artist that, not only do they struggle, but examine the struggle as well. I would like to point out that some of the greatest art comes from artists who struggled. I would humbly say-that circle can become a comfort zone. If that becomes the case, find another means of struggling. ;)

    Your friend in the 210th lap
    Scott123}}

    Love the notion.
    It is also very true.

  • Brent

    Are you really going to read all these? Probably.
    Yes, I do feel that way sometimes as well. Almost like I’m going to burst if I don’t take a step. Is it fear? Is it just the whole “unknown” factor? For the longest time I knew what I wanted to be and what direction I wanted my life to head in. For some reason though, I just couldn’t move; doing it seemed so HUGE. It was certainly clear in my mind but the actualizing part seemed impossible. I moved to Philadelphia and New York two months ago to pursue my “desire”. It is still very scary, and still seems BIG. But, I just keep taking one step in front of the other and keep moving forward.

    You are one hell of an inspiration, Allison. You are so talented in so many ways that it makes my head spin. Just keep moving forward. The opportunities that you have due to your celebrity are more than you know. Much, much love to you.

    -Brent

  • Bla

    we, at times, will chase our tail… it’s just natural. enjoy life more, Allison. be patient, and just enjoy life. the time for breakthrough will come at the exact moment. meanwhile, work on your patience… >_<

    Regards

  • taylor nikole

    random story sorry:

    so there is this boy at my school with down syndrome… and something always intrigued me about him and I couldn’t put my finger on it.
    Well, I saw him while i was walking home from school and he was walking with his mom.
    I saw them stop about 20 feet in front of me and she pointed up into the trees and his face lit up… there were birds and they were flying around. Then I noticed what it had been that intrigued me so much, even through all the frustration i’ve witnessed seeing in him while hes passed me in the halls and at lunch… he takes a minute to stop and appreciate life and all the small things that we don’t think about.
    The look of amazement, wonder and happiness on his face while his mother was talking to him about the birds made me smile and in a way want to follow his example.
    He may not have noticed it, but he’s inspired me to take a breather every once in a while and notice the small things… just sit, watch, wonder and continue to be intrigued.
    I thought about it all the way home and kinda wanted to share it :)

  • Eddie

    Don’t worry sometimes I see my cat chasing his tail and I am wondering if he is thinking the same thing. Well it’s normal. When we start thinking about moving on to other things..even if they are outside our comfort zone. Sometimes it does make us chase our tail and run around in circles because were so used to doing it. It’s routine.. ordinary and it’s a horrible cycle to try and break. Sometimes we all just need to close our eyes..jump.. and wish for the best. It’s truely the only way to grow.

  • http://www.myspace.com/fridayphilosopher The Friday Philosopher

    I think it’s safe to say Taylor that you don’t need to apologise for random stories when the subject is inspiration!

    At least that’s what I think anyway.

    Friday :)

  • taylor nikole

    hahah Friday, I actually agree :)
    and thanks haha

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    New nickname for Allison: Cyclone Allie.

    ===

    Oh Boy! Today is the 2nd day of my work week due to Rosh Hashanah. It doesn’t seem like Thursday. I’m stuck at work. Maybe I’ll get to see “Smallville” tomorrow night if the Tivo’s doing its job.

  • http://gmail shamanking

    this is good but I have one that is going to allison finger at the defender.

    talves wonder that good a day watching things on the web, I found a page that displays the etymological origin and meaning of names and I happened to put some names to knew and guess which had a very interesting meaning.

  • Jessica

    You are so not alone in this! I also feel that way sometimes

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