Overthinking Much?

Wrote this a few days ago:

That is definitely the name of the game tonight. I start my first day of directing on the set tomorrow; all the preparation I have done over the last year still cannot prepare me for what I am imagining the endeavor to be. I am so nervous. Excited, but nervous about the whole experience. But I am thinking that is a good thing. Alive, which is always good.

This prep process has been incredibly rewarding for me as far as my personal growth is concerned.
I have been able to see my failures in the type of person I want to be and really work to overcome them. It is an amazing thing to have such a strong and clear mode of calibration.

So now I am sitting in my living room, staring at my script, going over and over and over my ideas and shots. I think it is time to give the kid her lunch box and send her off to school. You can only learn so much before you have to simply dive in! Test the treading water lessons! Just go!
xoxo
a

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  • MarilyneL

    Wow, this comment feels so real and intimate. You and your passion for creativity will lead you in the best “direction” hahah
    Best of luck! :P

  • http://bubbalou.deviantart.com Lou

    I’m sure you’ll do just fine. You’re very intelligent and a fine actress.

    I do have one suggestion, however.

    Just remember to take that left turn at Albuquerque.

  • http://queengata.blogspot.com Catherine

    When in doubt, just take a deep breath and sing: “I have confidence in sunshine…I have confidence in rain…” – always seems to help me!

  • Robin

    It’s human nature to be nervous and excited about any new experience, I’m sure all you’ve had to use hard work, stamina, patience and IMAGINATION in your directing adventure…it must have been the experience of a lifetime!

    Trust in your work colleagues, mentors, and yourself – and have fun in the editing suite!

    We can’t wait to see the results

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    I often prepare and study and makes notes … and the making notes psrt is so important. Then I never look at the notes again … except maybe much later for entertainment value. I think, in mechanically writing things down, I am also scripting them into my grey matter (what’s left of it). Then, when it’s time for doing, I just do. What was most important of what I learned usually sticks with me and I don’t let what I’ve written down become a dogma so that I can’t learn from what happens as I go out there and untertake the real process. Relax and swim. Get tense and sink like a stone.

    But, more importantly, what exactly was in that lunch box? I might consider attempting directing someday if the lunch that goes with the job makes it worth the trouble.

  • Robin

    Part II

    Overthinking – I can most definately relate to this, or in my case over-worrying.

    I don’t know why I spend so much of my time running various scenarios through my head, What If this or What if That..events never transpire the exact way I predict, and I hope they never do -the fun’s in the not knowing after all life would be dull without surprises.

    Unfortunately I also do the Over-worrying thing at the END of each day looking back asking myself why I didn’t do that or this, my most repeated phrase and probably the one that makes me most sad is IF ONLY!

    I guess it’s best to look forward and not back..

  • Melanie

    Good luck directing Allison! You’re going to do a fantastic job. I just know it. I have faith in you! I can’t wait to see the episode and see your creativity come to life on screen. Don’t be nervous. Just have fun and live in the moment because before you know it it’ll be over.

    You are great in everything that you do. Believe in yourself and you can never go wrong :)

    Take care, Melanie

  • Lydia

    It is going to be a wonderful experience. I wish you fun and fulfilment.
    I would love to see behind-the-scene pictures of you directing. :-)

    I am happy for you that you are given the chance to be creative, learn and do something that you are passionated about. Go for it and enjoy!

    PS:
    Your performances in Abyss were beyond amazing!
    And, I’ve seen promo pictures of Bride. You look gorgeous and gracious! It is an enchantingly beautiful wedding dress.
    I can’t wait to see what is going to happen in the rest of the season. I hope that Chloe is going to be herself again at some point because I can’t imagine Chloe not being Clark’s sidekick fighting for a better world, WatchTower and consulent at the Isis foundation….besides being a wonderful wife to Jimmy, of course:-)

  • http://none Lauren

    U go girl!
    Gud luck!
    Can’t wait!

  • http://www.somethinglikearapper.wordpress.com Jimmy Valentime

    Congrats and Good Luck

    We know you will make us proud

    and if you fall short

    it will cause you to aim higher in the future :)

  • http://www.avitable.com Avitable

    I’m sure it will be a much easier experience now that you’ve prepared so well.

  • Jade Ruby

    “Practice makes perfect,” is a misnomer. Actually it is, “With practice, ease.”
    Make us proud.

  • taylor nikole

    very formal punctuation while journal-ing!
    i love it :)

  • taylor nikole

    “matt drowns himself in a bath full of talent each night; inhaling, swallowing until it’s filling his lungs up like blooming water balloons.
    & then when he emerges he brings a beautiful fist to his chest, knocking at the place where his lungs begin, until they burst- bright red and lovely.
    talent, talent in his bloodstream.”

    - pretty-as-a-picture
    (photo friend on deviantart)

    Haha i really liked this.. it seemed to go w/ talent and creativity :)

  • Sarah Renner

    Wow Congrats and good luck Allison!!
    Cant wait to see it :)

  • http://Allisonmack.com Smallvillekent

    Allison, Good Luck and enjoy! I am sure your ideas will translate to a fabulous episode. Your acting skills have kept my attention for the past 8 years and your directing will do the same. Just keep that smile!

  • http://www.myspace.com/fridayphilosopher The Friday Philosopher!

    Your post reminded me of an old African proverb that goes something like this;

    “Only a fool tests the water with both feet.”

    Now this is not to indicate that you may be a fool. Far from it in fact! Just because the post reminded me of the proverb doesn’t mean that it is true! Unless of course the water is shark infested.

    Anyway, I’m quite sure that you have done a wonderful job of directing and that the episode itself will be spectacular. I personally can’t wait to see it!

    Friday

  • jennygirl

    Good luck! I am mentally putting in your lunch box some yummy oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for a well earned treat!

  • Tom

    Best of luck Allison! We’re rooting for you and can’t wait to see the finished product.

  • Robert

    Just trust in yourself and those around you, and everything else will be fine.

    Best of Luck!

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    Since you wrote that a few days ago, how about letting us know how that lunch turned out?

    I guess it depends who packed it — you or one of your room-mates. That could be the difference between the chocolate chip cookies Jennygirl mentioned and a couple Scooby Snacks.

  • Clarice83

    Good luck Allison, you are an excellent actress and a wonderful person, I’m sure it will be a great episode, you will return to his friends and a great team that is your family for years and clear, its competence will be a great challenge, But you will win and win and a lot.
    And you also want to congratulate on his short won the 3 prizes in the Big Easy Short Festival, the movie and your the team deserve.
    Kisses!!!!

  • Dick B

    good night and good luck.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shinefloyd_luigi shinefloyd / luigi

    Great!
    Congrats!
    The child is grown, the fear is gone….

    About your words…. “I think it is time to give the kid her lunch box and send her off to school.”

    Yes.. it’s time to do it!!… and more!!
    The horizon… is open… all that you want is there…
    “The winner takes it all”… and you are “The Winner”!!

    Good luck
    my best wishes
    and take care

  • http://awakeinyou.blogspot.com Ruthie

    What all the beautiful souls above said…also, thanks for passing the inspiration on, here and along with all the Smallville cast and crew! I’m looking forward to watching your career unfold now and in the years to come. Bravo for going for it, brave soul!

  • jennygirl

    Yes, David…my cookies are to die for! *laughs*

  • taylor nikole

    oh.. i stil have to make them cookies -_-
    lolll

  • arash

    To be honest, it will be most challenging to direct this season. Smallville has evolved to perfection and the bar is raised to a whole new level. I would be super stressed and may be sick if I was given such an enormous task. I would go insane if I knew the whole world is going to watch and evaluate my first directing work, and those critics are brutal. Gosh I would probably be making a wallpaper out of the scripts, in my room and be banging my head on it all night. Sometimes I would scratch my face and pull my hair and scream like crazy. I would go on the snow barefoot in my pyjamas and dance. I would…
    Okay I guess that’s why I am not directing and you are.

  • arash

    by the way, all the best!

  • christopher

    Going barefoot in the snow is something everyone should try at least once! ;-)

  • taylor nikole

    barefoot in the snow!
    that actually sounds fun
    and painful :)
    haha
    it doesn’t snow in cali silly… like not even in the mountains i swear
    we get a little up north and thats it…
    its like fall and i can still wear shorts and tanktops
    i wish i could bring out my winter clothes already -_-

  • christopher

    exactly right, taylor–it is both fun AND painful!

  • taylor nikole

    SNOW ANGELS!
    and snowball fights :)
    haha

    i wish it would snow here

  • christopher

    I actually sat barefoot on an Alaskan glacier once! :-)

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    Hey Christopher,

    I wouldn’t be sitting on glaciers if I were you. That’s how people get poloroids!

    And Jennygirl,

    You didn’t by any chance send cookies with Allison the day they shot “Bride” did you? That explains what Doomsday was after … and Chloe’s smiling because she knows Doomsday will never find them where she hid them.

  • christopher

    that was a good one, david!

  • taylor nikole

    that smile sent chills down my spine
    -_-

    another reason why i admire the acting
    goodness gracious
    it made me tear up because of the excitement and such

    i don’t really get giddy or over excited, but i found my jaw hanging open and such
    oh wow

  • christopher

    maybe clark is meant to be with lois, lana, AND chloe–perhaps they’re ALL soulmates! are multiple wives permissible in Krypton society???

  • Aysha

    Thank you for sharing your fears with us about your directing. You’re right – just take the plunge and don’t look back. It’s the same feeling as taking a deep breath before taking a first look at an exam. You just have to trust yourself that all that studying paid off.

    I feel that perhaps once you find your rhythm in directing, then you’ll ease in to the process :-)

    We are all really proud of you for taking on this challenge and sharing info about your learning process and what is going on in your mind!

    Best of luck and I can’t wait to see just how you will blow us away! Kick some ass!

    One Step At A Time,
    Aysha

  • taylor nikole

    I have really never cared about the ‘relationships’ on smallville
    but the show was close to my heart because
    i used to have alone time with my grandpa (who isss still alive :) )
    when i was 7 or so and we would watch smallville together every thursday
    i think that is my main emotional attachment.

    but then again there is that relationship between clark and chloe that i can’t get over.
    Its the relationship that everyone longs for in life… complete trust and understanding that i just loved about it…
    Thats about the only relationship ive ever cared for :)
    or found myself ‘attached’ to…

    although im still recovering from the overwhelming-ness of the ep tonight
    i will admit

  • christopher

    i’m more attached to the relationship between clark and lana.

  • taylor nikole

    but now i notice… that was not the intention at all of this blog!
    sooo now we should get back on topic?
    anyone?
    lol <3

  • christopher

    since when do these things stay on any particular track anyway? maybe if our friend posted a bit more frequently still . . .

  • taylor nikole

    you mean allison?
    haha

  • christopher

    Of course, silly! What does she drop in now–about once every ten or twelve days if we’re lucky?

  • taylor nikole

    ahh shes busy :)
    or has her life
    she does….
    which is definitely an excuse :)
    don’t sit around waiting
    LOL

  • taylor nikole

    or wait… life doesn’t need to be an excuse
    idk

    i think alot of ppl now have higher expectations since she wanted to blog everyday, but there is real life stuff :)
    real life stuff is FUN and busy

  • christa link

    i am so happy that you are starting directing tomorow. i know that you will do a good job. dont be nervous just do your job and have fun. ask for help whenever you need it , it helps you to grow. everyone has there own opinion and ideas listen to them and then filter out the ones you dont like in your head. that way no one gets upset. trust me thats how i know so much. i mean thats how you grow. i know that you will do a good job. have fun and stay you.

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    I think the point of this blog entry is obvious — that lunch is the most important meal of the day … next to breakfast, brunch, dinner, supper and snacking … and that you shouldn’t overthink it, just go for it. Don’t count calories — they know how to add up all on their own! And preservatives … in the long run they are better than plastic surgery. So don’t think about it, eat it!

  • Tucker

    Whatever the outcome just live in the experience. Enjoy every moment for what it is. You’ve been around the industry for so long and working on the show for so long, I’ll bet you’ll be surprised how fluidly you take to this endeavor.

    I’m not saying it will be easy and it will probably have its share of frustrations. But that you get to do it in an environment as comfortable as this and with people you know on such a deep creative level (let alone a personal level) is an amazing well to draw strength from.

    And in the end, regardless of the outcome (though personally I think you’ll accomplish a great episode), you will have explored something new and take with you the renewed appreciation and love for your craft that you spoke of.

    Break a leg and enjoy this to the very depths of your soul.

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