an ego

Ok, so pride is the greatest limitation in the world. I set out to be wonderful and present in everything I do and yet because of this confusion I have with my image, it is almost impossible for me to be present and real in any given situation. I am just noticing that this is all an effect of the pride I carry and work to uphold at all times.

I am so confused with the person I think I need to be vs the woman I am. The funniest part of all is the woman I am is actually cool. When I find humility and appreciation I enjoy all people and experiences so much more. I love and value each interaction because I see people as something other than objects to confirm my image.

Funny, I think because I grew up thinking the image I play is the best and most important thing in the world, I am so afraid to be something other than that, but because of this fear I confirm this belief and perpetuate the issue. Vicious cycle, no?

I am working on a movie that I will be filming in June and I am seeing my limitations as an actress and it is only since the last few days I have been able to admit to the challenge and ask for help. I am very excited now, as opposed to the “freaked-the-fuck-out” I was before, because I feel like I am learning how to learn. Similar to the directing, maybe this will help me to build myself into the actress I want to be.

Maybe I can get better? Grow? That’s exciting. Am I alone in this enslavement to the image?

xo
a

Newer Comments →
  • Melissa

    Oh God, a new movie? Yes! I love your work Allison, but I don’t quiet understand what you meant by limitations. I think nobody have one, I mean, it’s like something you do, you think that you’re not gonna get any further because it’s all you can do and you can give in the present, but then 2 or 1 year after you see how that situation you did could have been played better, it’s like you grow up, with mistakes ok but then you see yourself in the past, from the present you’re in and you say something like: I could have done it better, or I could have take it to another level. In my opinion, we have no limitations, it’s abotu the things we learn every single day, we make ourselves stronger by learning from other.
    I wish you the best, you’re special and unique just like everybody else, keep up the great job you’re doing, and sorry for my bad English, my Spanish language is a little confused right now, I have to work on it. Love!

    Melissa.

  • http://www.avitable.com Avitable

    One of the most insightful bloggers I read is Miss Britt at http://www.miss-britt.com. She is transparent in the sense that she lets her insecurities and weaknesses and concerns and fears pour through her to her audience and it makes her appear stronger and fearless while still being vulnerable.

    I might suggest checking her out.

  • http://www.fabianvercuiel.com Fabianv

    Keep doing what you’re doing Allison, it is a sacrifice we make to have an image depending on what industry we choose to follow. You chose to be an actress, your sacrifice is to uphold an image… but if you stay down to earth and honest faults in your image wouldnt matter :)

    Its a tough job to do what you do, and you do it so very well!

  • Carol

    you are great on Smallville, I have watched it since the beggining and love all the actors.

  • Carol

    you are great on Smallville, I’ve watched since the beggining. Love all the actors, miss Lex.

  • Lynsey

    I think most people would be able to relate to this. We all play a variety of roles in life, depending on what we’re doing and who we’re with. Human beings are multi-faceted and I think that striving to be something more than you are is a good thing, not simply an act to get people to accept you.

    At the same time, it’s important to stay grounded in reality and try to live in the moment – if you’re always looking two steps ahead you can miss what’s right in front of you.

    I think that you’re on the right path with your journey of self-discovery because it’s only by learning who you are that you can learn how to become who you want to be.

    (I hope all my psycho-babble makes sense!) :)

  • Dario

    Hi Allison,I’m from germany and my english is not the best and I don’t know if you’ll ever read this but I wanted to ask you if you could do some audio-commentaries for the season 8 dvd of smallville for some episodes like Odyssey,Bride,Legion,Hex,Doomsday and of course your directical debut Power,we the fans miss you on the dvd’s,we haven’T had cast audio-commentaries since season 4 with you and erica and tom hasn’t done one since season 2,it would be so cool if the 3 of you and maybe the other cast(Aaron,Cassidy,Sam,Justin) would/could do audio-commentaries for the dvd,cause the fans including think that yours toms and ericas were the best and funniest,so if you have time and if it’s not too late please please please do some audio-commentaries,and I hope my english wasn’t too bad and I hope you understand everything I said,bye and greetings from germany-berlin

  • Puffy

    “As you see yourself, I once saw myself; as you see me now, you will be seen.” Mexican proverb.

    I am also controlled by my image. From almost a complete opposite side of the spectrum…. I try very hard to squash my ego because I feel like people will reject me if I voice my opinion or disagree with them. What this makes my image is somewhat akin to a quiet doormat. I understand that and wish to change it, but there is fear. I may know that my real self is a decent person, but I get scared that the people I currently have in my life will not like that person, so I repress it and stick with the image that I know is accepted, even if not real. The illusion of safety in what is known.

  • Jesse

    Hi Allison

    I don’t know, I feel we do put on an image for our profession, but if we can be real to those that we are closes to, those that we love, it would make all the difference in the world. You mentioned humility and appreciation; if you can receive that being real it is a great feeling. Ummm

    -jesse

  • http://twitter.com/JoelKnudsen Joel K

    Allison,
    I can’t help think about your comments and those of others in past who have shared your feelings and were also involved in your passion. The first was the legendary Sir Basil Rathbone, the actor who truly defined Sherlock Holmes in the ’30s and ’40s. He felt pigeon-holed by his specific portrayal that he refused to be associated with these performances. In the ’60s and 70s, Leonard Nimoy felt the same frustration after having played Spock. Yet, in the early ’90s, he embraced the character as a positive and re-wrote his classic “I Am NOT Spock” to “I Am Spock”. He had been reminded that his accomplishments had been so much more because he had diversified and to be so very proud of Spock.
    Embracing your talents in acting, directing, and even singing and voice work is what makes you “YOU”. Acting is a very competitive business but it is only a small part of what makes Allison Mack truly Allison Mack. You are still evolving in the business you’ve joined. And Fabianv is correct. You DO do it very well and the hours and craziness on the set can be long. But if you look at all your family, boyfriend, Tom, et al., and those of us trying to keep you grounded with semi-pearls of wisdom, the person you need to look to is the very cool woman who has had a helluva lot of fun and learning in the past 9 years. And don’t ever let that last number I typed scare you or bother you. Knowledge and wisdom gained through that number will last you far into the future. And you will be stronger and better for it. Just look in the mirror, and you will see the strong and beautiful AND cool woman we see.
    Peace and good fortunes this summer.
    Joel K.

  • Ana_Sullivan

    Everyone has the wonderful capacity to learn is one of the best things in a human being. You’re a great actress so don’t worry… You must to learn, learn, and learn and be yourself. I think that you can be one of the best actresses in the world. Don’t worry about your limitations, because a limitation is only another oportunity to learn.

  • Vanessa (spain)

    The image that I had of myself some years ago was one of a “saint”. I didn´t allow myself to have bad feelings for anyone, and felt guilty whenever I did it. I couldn´t do any harm to anyone and felt like I wasn´t worth living because I couldn´t make people happy.

    But then I understood that if I wasn´t happy first I couldn´t make others happy. And that image changed. I´m no longer a saint, because I know that I´m human and I´ve got limitations and feelings that sometimes I don´t like but they´re normal reactions to the world and to other people.

    I always saw others as mirrors that reflected how I was. If they were nice to me that´s because they thought I was nice and viceversa. Now I know that´s not necesarily true and I don´t base my behaviour on others people reaction.

    I enjoy much more my relationships because I´m really interested in learning about humankind and understanding and helping others.

    And about your limitations as an actress, I would really love to know what they are because I think you´re brilliant!

  • Irene

    Well, I think your doing GREAT! It’s good that you noticed you needed help & asked for it. I think the only way to grow is threw humility.

    Stay humble and your image will project gracefully. It won’t be something you have to work at.

    I always learn from others at a distance when they think no one is looking.

  • Dario

    oh and I forgot to say that last nights season finale of Smallville was awesome,and you did an incredible job and now I can’t wait for season 9 to continue with chloes journey,thank you

  • Lis

    you know the whole stereotype threat? its the fear we will confirm what others beleive about us and in most cases we do. I think there is always a discrepancy between the “real” self and the “ideal” self because nomatter who you are, we have always been told we can do and be anything; so, it harder to say “this is who i am” than to say ‘this is who I want to be’, because who we are may not be as cool as the alternative

  • Eric

    Allison, just saw the finale of Smallville, loved the twists and turns!! I think the show is better than ever.

    As for these limitations of which you speak, I’m a bit confused by that, are you talking technical limitations?

    I can’t speak for everyone, but I think you are one of the most human and grounded actresses and that is what makes your approach to Chloe as a character ‘likable and engaging’

    I don’t think there are limitations, just new approaches and life experiences that you can layer on top.

    thanks for the great Blog!
    all the best :-)

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    One week until “Crossed Wires” in Prague.

    Break a leg.

  • Netra

    I find myself morphing depending upon who I am around. At work I am a professional, at home I am a good wife, and attend to my husband, with my friends I am a beer drinking ‘F’ bomb dropping 20 year old!!!….But under all of that I am still me, and cannot help but to be anything other then ME…..just as you can seasch all of you life to become who you think it is you are supposed to be, you cannot change the nature of the person you already are….My image is not all that I am, it is what I choose to show to the rest of the world. An image is nothing more then public perception of who they think you are……but we all here in your community have learned that YOU….ALLISON MACK…..ARE a pretty cool chic!! We do not need to be impressed by your IMAGE…..we are impressed by the true, confussed, enlightened, thoughtful, careing, human being that you ARE.

  • Monica

    Nope, you are not alone. It’s interesting that you mention the importance of being present, humbling yourself, learning. I am continually given these same life lessons, and I keep thinking now that I’m in my 30′s, I’ll learn them quicker. But (apparently :) since we are human, we will struggle with this pride thing regardless of age or success or circumstance. Thank God that despite the discomfort, we are always given the opportunity to grow and become better/truer versions of ourselves.

  • http://dani-adayinthelifeofacoffeeaddict.blogspot.com/ Danielle

    You are most certainly not alone in the fight with image. It is so crazy the amount of pressure we put on ourselves and the pressure put on us by society especially for you in the public eye. I’m getting to the point where I just have to like myself and everyone else be damned.

  • Susana

    Oh Allison you are definetly not alone. Soooo many of us feel this way. Like I am also very scared to change into the person I am because of how that will make me look, I put this front about who I am so people will accept me but the funny thing is people already love me no matter what it’s crazy how we do this but I think for me it’s more habit & fear than anything else, maybe for you too.

    I don’t know you Allison but you seem like such a great & intelligent & beautiful young woman so I think you will be able to find that person you want to become because you can, you just have to have faith which is something I am learning to do even though it’s hard, I mean I am not religious at all but I turn to god all the times in the hard times & even in the easy times just for guidance on many many things & it turns out that you can do it just have faith & you will be able to become the person you want.

    I am still struggling to do this lol so I can’t set an example lol but I hope one day I can. I think I have sooo many feelings going on around me like sad,angry,happy,depressed,excited….. sooo many & my ego won’t let me be any of those because I don’t want to seem weak in front of anyone so I end up crying in my room ha.

    So I think it’s ok to feel this way Allison, & trust me one day you will be the person you want to be without many of the feelings :) .

    Thanks for sharing, your aweseome Allison, & remember alot of Adore you don’t forget ;)

    Take Care,

    Susana

  • william

    Allison,just be yourself, and enjoy your job and do it well, dont change yourself to conform to other people’s idea of who you are, life should not be an act but a freedom of living.
    be ture to yourself and be a good person,
    william

  • KJ Collard

    Allison, I was one of the lucky few who got to meet you in Metropolis. :) (Scored my autograph ticket thru the extra lottery!) I thought you were the most patient, kind, and gracious person. Even after a long (and scorching hot!) day, your smile lit the room. Not sure if you recall a gal talking about how Chloe influences her daughter’s wardrobe…. but it was definitely a day that I will not forget. Keep being true to your core. It’s what keeps you shining brightly. “It is the nature of the ego to take, and the nature of the spirit to share.”
    Proverb quotes

  • Kris

    OK, so I relate to the limitations part the most, therefore I shall comment on that.

    Limitation is just another word for obstacle. Once you get over or go around it, an obstacle is not a limitation anymore. And the next time you meet the same or similar obstacle, you’ll know exactly what to do about it and say, “Pppffttt, piece of cake!”

    I’ve spent my whole life (as we all do) building the image I want to portray and have been very satisfied with my efforts, but last year I lost all my hearing. Now I have to re-learn how to communicate and relate to the world as I knew it. Almost everything I do in the course of a regular day is affected by the fact that I can’t hear worth a damn. It’s heartbreaking and frustrating and irritating all the time, but it’s not a limitation because I refuse to let it hold me back. I could be embarrassed or discouraged because I don’t know how to adjust to this. I could let my pride get in the way of seeking help from other people, and I could just withdraw into my own little world of personal security because it’s easier than struggling. I have to rebuild that image of myself to include this huge new aspect of my existence while trying not to lose any bits and pieces of my former self.

    In terms of dealing with limitations, the only way that your image will be tarnished is from lack of trying, not from failing to get over the obstacle on the first shot. And the only way anybody learns what their capabilities are is by doing the things they’ve never tried before. I hope that you have a wonderful experience on the new movie. Just think, on the next movie you do after this one, maybe you’ll be the veteran showing the “freaked-the-fuck-out” actor/actress how to steamroll through his/her ‘limitations.’

  • http://monicaop.livejournal.com MonicaOP

    Dear Allison, to see someone that I admire as much as I do you be this humble and speak like this is so beautiful.. I really admire your work.. you have managed to create some amazing things even with really substandard writing, to me you are great :) .

    I’m happy you are finding something that makes you feel challenged and I know you are going to deliver what I’m used to see in your acting.. awesomeness!!! :)

    Tons of hugs and good luck with everything you have planned, you deserve the best!!! Be well :)

  • Aziza

    Some of us strive to always be some one else that when we look in the mirror we can’t recognise ourselves anymore.

    be yourself Allison and know that personalities aren’t stagnant. They grow as we grow/

  • Lauren

    I feel badly sometimes because I feel like I’m faking it so much. People have this idea of who I am, and until recently I never could see what they were seeing in me. I didn’t understand how they could be buying into what I was pretending to be, but that’s what I wanted them to do. I realized that I can’t run from my pain, and that there are people out there who could really use a hand that I had the unique ability to give. Not that I’m more special than the next person… it’s just from experience. So I decided to follow in the footsteps of a friend and “live transparently” so that maybe someone could find a piece of their story in me as some sort of tangible evidence for whatever it is they are searching for. Of course I can’t live that way all the time, we all have our off days, but trying is what counts. And the possibility of someone seeing the idea of redemption and grace and applying it to their own life from something God is doing through me is all I could ever ask for.

  • Lydia

    Be yourself, continue your journey, learn and grow along the way.
    I think you’re a genuinely good person trying to live her best life and be the best person she can be. You can be proud of who you are and what you are doing.

    Could you please tell us more about the movie you’re filming in June? Thanks.

    It’s been an amazing season for Chloe. You played many different emotions (courageous and determined, vulnerable and sad, joyful and funny at times) and even another character (Brainiac).
    You’re fabulously amazing! And, you looked stunningly beautiful!
    Enjoy the hiatus and your other projects.
    Good luck with Crossed Wires in Prague and with your new movie in June.

    Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

  • Silvia

    Hi Allison,

    Funny how some of your postings remind me of my best friend and I think you kind of have the same problems like her. I think it’s not too difficult to solve them.

    - Your fears block you – that’s all.

    Well, of course you don’t need to listen to me, but since my friend is much better off now I think I can help you, too.

    So first of all, calm down and relax! You’re too tensed. Do not focus on what others might think about you. If you think the woman you are is cool, then be that woman. Pride is not your problem. Every single creature needs some pride in order to live. Look at your life and all those goals you’ve achieved. Don’t you think you have the right to be proud? – You’ve got it. When I think of several of your postings I think it’s not a solution to change yourself. Allison, try to love yourself, the person you are, and respect yourself. This makes a huge difference into positive and leads you to a better handling of people and richer experiences. The only thing that keeps you from all this is your mind. By thinking you have to change for having greater experiences you block yourself. So open up your mind and open up your heart. Stop drowning in self-doubts! Look where it’s leaded you… you don’t appreciate what you have just trying to get more. – Sort of always hungry. That can be a good thing sometimes, but not in general. It’s good never to stop growing and learning, but don’t forget about what you already have and use it.

    However, my very first reply in your blog was for your posting about directing. I though this stuff quite interesting and studied all your entries about your preparation. I wanted to know whether this all worked for you. Since I’m in Europe I couldn’t see it on TV. So I searched the internet and found an online channel one can watch episodes (but each the latest) of several TV series. You put your soul inside your directing work and one can see this. Hence, it seems to be a good idea to do all the same in order to become a better actress. Yet, I think it’s much easier. You don’t need books etc. – You are afraid… that blocks.
    Forget about your fears and use your soul again. A true artist/actor or actress lives the roles he/she plays. You have the ability and potential, but you have to use it. It’s all there, Allison, inside you. It’s a passion, don’t held it back – give your passion free reign and you’ll achieve your aim. You’ll see.

    take care,
    Silvia

  • Ktk

    Allison,

    Glad to see you’re stretching your legs and getting into new territory.

    I don’t know your history of acting, I only know what I’ve seen on Smallville, which I’ve DVR’d from the pilot.

    And from jump street, I see you as a natural, comfortable in your own skin actress. I can only assume you’ll be nothing less than great.

    My first impression of you was how you nail facial expressions and delivery of lines. I’d bet money on the fact that you’ll do the same in the new movie, and as far as I can see, it works for you.

    If I had to guess, I’d say you were pretty much the same on & off the camera (minus some street language). Unfortunately I’ll never be able to witness it myself, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.

    Fucking love your work, and love those smiling eyes!

  • http://www.myspace.com/analfabeta Gnome

    Nope. You definitely not alone on this.

    Everyone has an self image that, almost always, do not corresponds to the one other people have on you.

    My friends and I played a game once, that goes exactly at this issue. We made a questionary with the name of each one of us on the title. The objective was to find out how we see each other so we could improve our relationship.
    We didnt signed our names since it was a multiple choice questionary. We answered questions like “Am I selfish?” or “Am I trustful? with a “nope” , “average”, “a bit” and “a lot”.

    The results were impressive and totally unexpected since you realize that there is not a slight difference from what do you think of yourself and what who you really are.
    We discussed, fighted, laughed and learnt a bit more about ourselves. Totally worth it.

    I believe that our closest friends are an reflex of our own personality or of what we want to be. We collect friends so them could add the pieces that are missing in our puzzled life, so I believe there is nothing wrong by using them to enlighten our path.

    That goes to everyone on here…

  • Dave

    Well, first of all i’d like to say i’m glad that you are pursuing other projects….because smallville has jumped the shark big time. Dont get me wrong I like your character and your just about the best actor on that show. Good acting can not make up for poor writing. Anyways that much said, let me give you some advice my late father gave me a long time ago about “images”. He told me to do what i love. If you worry about what people think or the “image” you portray about yourself, you will never be happy, all that matters is what you do to make yourself happy. Its alright to be selfish and let think about yourself once in a while or more often. I mean sure you have to worry about ratings and box office earnings blah blah blah, but just be happy doing what your doing. Acting is a great way of artistic expression so put all your worries and anxieties into your work and who cares what people think. Life is to short to care about that stuff, i’ve learned that the hard way through experience and a little bit of prozac. So live life to the fullest and good luck with your movie, and especially with smallville cause that show needs alot of it!

  • Jade Ruby

    As you can well see Allison, we are strongly in your corner rooting for you as you continue to grow as an artist. Thank you for sharing your concerns with us.

  • http://deleted Robin

    I guess we hold “images” of others in our lives as well as our own.

    We each have an ego, pride , or whatever we call it and I guess it does limit what we do.

    The funny thing is , we can all recognise it in others yet raely see the ego in us, as though, at least for me, I am blindfolded, it kind of sneaks up on us.

    I guess for me at least, it boils down to being afraid to even attempt certain things in case others don’t like or would laugh at me. Even though I know deep down that I ought to do things for my own evolution, and if I fall flat on my face, well so what, lifes too short to not do things, I just hope I begin to act on these more and more…sorry for the rant.

    Good luck in developing your character in this film role, I’m sure you’ll nail it!

  • http://brokenfingers.wordpress.com Raymond Rodgers

    It’s trite, cliche, and is probably more difficult for an actor/actress, but just be yourself and do your best. Writing has taught me that you put a bit of yourself into your characters and stories, and I have no doubt that the best actors & actresses commit a part of themselves into the characters they play. That’s the heart of character acting: finding the character’s motivations and finding a way to empathize with them regardless of how you feel about the character’s actions, then translating that into your own performance. While I know you’ve done that for years (and in roles other than the one with which I’m familiar), you must remember that a part of you is going into that performance. You affect the character as much as the character affects you. You’re a great actress and my friends and I are very grateful for your contributions to Smallville.

    Out side of acting… Just be. Don’t worry about who you think you need to be, what you perceive yourself as being, or what others perceive you as being. Just be who you are at that moment. We are all changing, constantly, and though we may have a consistent pattern in our lives, we’re never quite the same from one day to the next. So just be.

  • Maria

    I understand a bit what you’re going to in two ways.

    First, Being a pastor’s daughter people expect things of you a specific way to act and be all “holier than thou” kind of thing. And be… perfect and people forget that we , being human, still mess up you know. And sometimes I find myself trying to live up with what people want to see. And i lose myself, who I am. I forget that I don’t need to live up to anybody’s expectations. I live for God and me.

    Second, there’s the “image” the media gives us. Right now the world is ruled by trends. And one of those trends is being skinny, or being beautiful, look like a supermodel. etc… and everyone wants to live up to that and we lose our self. We lose what makes us beautiful IN and OUT and it completely annoys me when I am victim of those trends. When people reject me for who I am, for how I look.

    We can’t live up to all of the images that people give us and … no matter how cheesy this may sound it’s the truth… we need to be ourselves.

    If this has NOTHING to with what your post then I’m sorry! And you can ignore this but anyway I needed to let loose a bit.

    Xo

    Maria

  • http://awakeinyou.blogspot.com Ruthie

    Allison, I think your journey of self-discovery is fantastic. We all deal with our projected ego to some extent. Your experience of that is on a way different level than those of us who aren’t public figures. Your honesty with yourself and intent to explore issues like this is awesome. You know where you’re at and the value of the lessons you are learning more than any one else does. “Learning to learn”….that is the best lesson you can take with you in this life.

    I’ve been reading the first chapter from Pema Chodron’s “The Wisdom of No Escape” for the past few mornings, trying to take it in. Here’s a few excerpts:

    “There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable…”
    “A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms. Tto lead a more passionate, full and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is…If we’re committed to comfort at any cost, as soon as we come up against the least edge of pain, we’re going to run; we’ll never know what’s beyond that particular barrier…”
    “But loving-kindness–maitri–toward ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything…The point is not to try to change ourselves. It’s about befriending who we are already…”

    Personally, I’ve been thinking about the dichotomy between the me-ness I love and the me-ness that bums me out. Coming to terms with those weaknesses opens us up to being compassionate with ourselves (I love you, weak me) and in turn, makes us more gentle and open to the whole world. I find that when I am mindful of treating myself with compassion and gentleness, the qualities I love about myself shine through in a genuine way. When you drop the story, you fall in love with the whole world.

    Wow, sorry that’s so long. I’m so proud of you, Allison. You have a great heart. Life wouldn’t be a very good teacher if we didn’t have any lessons to learn!

  • Amanda N.

    You are not alone in this at all.It is awesome when you have pride in what you do,though when it comes to the point where you can’t admit or own up to things, it is a major problem.

    I think the person you are now is pretty grand,but it is so awesome you want to grow and be so much more,I really think that is amazing of you.

    More than anything I am glad you asked for help with your new project.I hate it when people are faced with challenges and have no clue how to approach it and just sit there.It is simply stupid.You aren’t dumb or anything if you ask for a little help.So I applaud you on that one.

    Also pride gets in the way when you can’t admit you were wrong or made a mistake.My dad is like that,whenever my mother tries to correct him he’ll get pissed off and start to raise his voice.Again I think that is so stupid.Yes it is hard to say you were wrong,but by doing that you show how strong and good of a person you really are.

    Images is something I think everyone takes seriously,especially if you are an actor.It’s crazy how we place so much emphasis on the perception of what others have of us.Upholding the image you want to have is something that is diurnal.I am glad you realized that your image is not the very most important thing.

    Allison the women you are currently is suffice to say pretty amazing.It is wonderful that you treat your experiances and interactions of a high value.In a way it upholds your image in a very positive way,cause it shows how much you appreciate the little things,and that makes you more than pretty cool.I’d have to say extraordinary.

    Also I love that you are learning to learn.Usually people will put that away when they enter their twenties.They try and do everything fo themselves without any outside help.Learning is an experiance that will travel with you your entire life.I think it is so cool how you have embraced that,and put your pride away in order to do the things you want and become the person you envisioned for yourself.

    I can’t wait to see your new film Allison.Good luck with shooting it in June,and have fun on set.Also remember never be ashamed to ask for help.

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    This blog post kind of reminds me of Alaska. Huh? Anyway, Alaska has to follow the national guideline for drinking water set by the federal government or else lose federal funding. The problem is, the standard requires that a certain percentage of the polutants in the water be removed. For istance, a state with yucky water is supposed to clean the water up to the point where it is only 10% yucky and it passes the standard (excuse the technical terminology here). So Alaska has this water that is supplied by massive amounts of water melting off glaciers. It is so incredibly pure in its natural state that there is no technology existing that can remove a large portion of the extremely small amount of polotants in the water. So, to keep their federal funding, Alaska buys waste products from the fishing industry to pollute their water enough that they can clean it up to meet the federal standard.

    So, improving on Allison Mack’s acting skills. I think that will only be possible if they are first somehow diminished.

    The better plan would be to get a really impressive pen that can be casually shown during an audition and make the people casting the roles want you for every part! [See, that job fair wasn't wasted on me! Not one bit.]

  • Lohengrin

    Ciao Allison

    Many big artists aren’t satisfied of their works, so they can improve themself in the future.

    You are a beautiful woman and a good actress. An actress who has great potential and talent, so as she proved it until now. With your capacities you are “authorized” to have a little Ego…

    To know the own capacities and the will to get better are a good point of start on the road to the dreams.

    Firm feet on earth, but eyes stared at the stars!

    A new movie?
    …Life is wonderful…

  • thomas

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  • http://www.pokerstage.blogspot.com Falstaff

    Getting past our own ego is one of the toughest things an actor learns, and relearns, and re-relearns. Somebody (famous Russian, probably heard of him) once said “love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art.” It’s a constant struggle for any actor that’s honest enough to admit to it, and a challenge to all of us, whether we’re working professionally or avocationally. But it’s a mark of a real actor, not just a “star” to be able to recognize the challenge and admit it. Good for you.

  • Victoria

    Allison,
    It is so great to see that someone else is going through a time of self-reflection. Sometimes a look within is fun, exciting and scary all rolled up like a corndog! Know what I mean? It looks good and like it would be fun to make and then you think of all the crap it is made of….

    To learn so much about myself is really an interesting experience. My strengths and weaknesses are quite unique. Life has presented me with ups and downs, but I choose not to dwell on the “poop” and recall the victories during tough times.

    By the way, I enjoy your work on Smallville. I believe that you have a lot of heart, just like your character.

    Best,
    Victoria

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    … and PAIN is in the hand of the bee-holder!

  • http://www.myspace.com/malleable_me Krystal

    You are SO not alone in this. I think that it is within the core of mankind to struggle with this sort of pride. I have so many examples of times in my life that I let the need to maintain my image cloud out any potential for growth.

    As a musician, who in her small world as a teenager was considered one of the top clarinet players around, I remember a day in class when I was sight-reading a solo. I kept continuously playing a rhythm incorrectly. When the second chair clarinet player, who was consequently a good friend, tried to correct me I totally flew into “image” mode. At first I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it, but then I realized that the entire class heard him correct me and I literally yelled at him in disdain. He was so embarrassed. So, instead of humbling myself to be corrected I lashed out and 1. kept from advancing my playing abilities and 2. Put a huge strain on a potentially awesome friendship.

    Now that I am an adult, I still see the same behavior in myself. I refuse to admit to flaws in my character and abilities ALL THE TIME because I would rather maintain the “She’s Amazing” facade to my co-workers and family than let them see that I, in fact, do not have it all together.

    This totally makes me think of Proverb 26:11
    ” As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly.”

  • Carles

    Hello Allison,

    Oh a new movie. It’s great. I enjoy so much to watch you in Smallvile as Chloe but some times I thought about seeing you interpreting another character. Unfortunately at Spain your films was not in theaters or on DVD.

    I like so much you post here for anyone want know more of you, Thanks for think in us.

    When I see you in the screen I don’t see only one image, I see a person interpreting and it’s great the emotions you transmit was not image, was feelings. And your image is excellent, of course.

    I don’t think you have a ego problem. Your acting say me not. But of course you can be proud of be when you are. If it’s ego.

    I like so much you was in the next season.

    I am reading your post, but sometimes I don’t know what say. But god job with the blog.

    Best wishes,

  • Joe

    some thoughts..=)

    1. I think this is a common experience- and having experienced this, it makes u so much more human- better able to relate, & better as an actress to portray that when the time comes :)

    2. Being aware of it, now you can begin to find a way out of it, and it will help you to support others out of such enslavement personally or perhaps through your films one day. =)

    3. So all in all, it’s awesome!! :D :D :D

  • http://www.daybow.com David Hayes

    Here are a couple Mack challenges. Maybe some of the other posters would like adding challenges as well. If you want to do some short YouTube videos to explore areas you may have never tried, here are a couple I have never seen you attempt [Hollywood level make-up not required]:

    * Play the part of someone who is very old (and I don’t mean 30).

    * Play the role of a man.

  • Scott123

    Dearest Allison,

    What journeyman actor you have become! As I read the these most recent blogs, it’s getting clear that, rather than show basic emotions on screen, you are searching to show more subtle emotions with greater “method”.
    Are you honest about your own image? I think in the end we all are, and the fear comes with making a change to that image. I say this is where liberty comes in. To make yourself better than you are. That is, to “liberate” yourself. This is not an easy thing in any profession, let alone the profession of actor.
    So I think, instead of fear, one might look at the more subtle aspects of fear. Intrepidation, uncertainty, nervousness. This “getting in the moment” to show emotions, is something you have been doing a long time now, and I think you can give yourself some credit. You are no longer an “apprentice”.
    Honestly, don’t be afraid. On the other hand if that’s what the director wants…

    Your friend in fine craftsmanship
    Scott123

  • MarilyneL

    You’re not alone Allison!
    I think that we get so enslaved by our image that we can even forget who we really are, how would we act if nobody was there around you, no potential judgment, just your true self. I think life would be much lighter if we could be enough strong to overcome such self-imposed pressure.
    Have a good day!

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