caloused finger tips

I am learning to play the guitar and there is something intensely satisfying about the callouses I am developing on my finger tips. It feels as though I am earning something.

Something hard.
Something ugly.
Something rough on a more delicate person that gives me the ability to make something beautiful out of 5 strings and some wood… the opportunity to create, to express takes some sort of weathering.

My feet are filled with tiny cuts from the play in Prague, I earned the applause. When something is easy, when there is no callous or cut, is it really worth it?

In the moment I bitch and complain. I say things like “What the fuck? Sweep the damn floors?” But, after the show closes and I am cleaning the cut on the top of my toe, there is a sense of accomplishment that is not replaceable.

And so I recognize aliveness.

I see that I am in a body and yet it is not real until i feel it.
and so it is with emotions.
I know I am a human being, but until I experience my own emotional bandwidth, I don’t really know if I am anything more than a robot.

Thank you, calloused hands, bleeding heart, and open mind.

Fill my days with rich alive-ness and I will give me a standing ovation.
xo
a

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  • Vic

    Let there be rock! A!

  • http://www.matt-tucker.com/blog/ Tucker

    Raw.

    That’s the word that comes to mind.

  • Patricia

    Your production in Prauge sounded quite satisfying :-)

  • http://twitter.com/MelBee85 Melanie

    lol You have a way to see most things with a positive light… I wish I could do that more often ;)

    But I do get what you mean… When you feel exhausted or in pain after doing something you’ve been wanting to accomplish, that’s when you know you really did it and that you can feel good about it. It prved you worked hard.

    Long life caloused finger tips (though… ouch!)

    PS: will we get one day a sample of you playing the guitar? :D

  • Chris

    I know exactly what you mean. Only through the hard work, blood, and sweat can we accomplish something no machine can ever do. They lack the human element.

    Best of luck to you on the guitar it is very difficult to learn but very rewarding in the end.

    Best wishes,
    Chris

  • http://www.275words.blogspot.com Scott

    Allison,

    The nice thing about you, at least what I seem to pick up, is that you really appreciate life and the advantages that your fame/fortune have given you – the opportunities they afford. I think that’s wonderful and refreshing.

    I’ve always kind of wondered if you and the other actors of Smallville felt that doing your work in Canada – away from the Hollywood BS – is really a blessing?

  • http://www.freewebs.com/farglegehnarglebargle/ Liam

    FINALLY! Someone that gets it! It’s the littlest of things, the annoyances or the stuff that gives you the inclination to grin or grimace that makes us truly alive.
    Thanks for expressing it so eloquently!

  • Isabel

    Great! Good for you; keep it up! You could later put some videos of you playing an awesome song. My 17yr.old niece has tutorials of learning to play the guitar. check it out:
    Her name is Crissy…
    http://www.myspace.com/crissyacoustic

    <3 Isabel

  • VinnieG

    There is something to be said about humanity. With all the intellectual achievements made since the dawn of time, the joy of creating and listening to music remains just as strong. And beautiful.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/RitinhaBr Rita Gabriela

    I loved your production in Prague. Wonderful! Congratulations!!
    Thanks for post :D

  • Allie

    I know exactly what you mean. My knees are covered in more scars than I can count from my days of playing volleyball, diving onto wood floors to keep the ball from hitting it. Sometimes it can seem kind of pointless, but when I look back at my scars, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They remind me of all the hours I spent sticking with something, all the hours I spent working with a team, working towards a greater goal.

    And like you said, even emotional scars or cuts or callouses serve a purpose too, they remind us, let us feel and they also connect us to our past. They allow us to learn from mistakes, or remember how hard work made something beautiful, even if it was painful at the time.

    This concept totally resonates with me! Awesome topic!

  • Carissa

    That’s awesome! My dad gave me his old Fender last summer when I told him I wanted to learn, i totally fell in love with it!

    I was conviced my hands were kind of small and my fingers a little…pudgy but it totally doesn’t matter once you get those callouses worked in. Every Thursday I play with a group until my fingertips turn purple.

    There’s something extremely satisfying in learning a new artform, welcome to the world of guitar! :)

  • http://www.myspace.com/bethhobbs Elizabeth

    Thank you for posting such a honest, beautiful blog. Never were truer words written:)

  • http://www.fatpantskinnyjeans.blogspot.com ShinyStarlet

    Hello again,

    Be proud of your wounds, Allison.

    I completely agree: If no wound or mark has been left on my body, then I did not put my whole body into it.

    I believe this with acting, with running, with rock climbing, hiking, sex etc.

    I played Sister Bessie Rice in Tobacco Road at my college and had to do a stunt where climbed on someone’s back which made him stumble backward(I weighed 230 pounds at the time). He then placed me down at the right spot. The moment my feet hit the floor I released my hands and free fell into a well bucket. I was bruised each night and cut on the two nights I missed, landing on the floor. My friend Tim told me I earned the laugh. I loved it. I loved that I had that trust in my partner and my body. And that I was finally willing to get beat up a bit for my art.

    When I drive home from a day of Alpine fun, i.e hiking, climbing, I relish my scrapes and know that I worked hard. I know that I am willing to give up control of my body to reach a new level of commitment.

    Just typing it out makes my face hot. I want to go play.

    Be well, hope all’s well with the kitty and your foray into the video world.

    Thanks for this blog, I enjoy the questions you pose.

    Heather

  • Lorraine

    I had the same experience and it was through all sort of body aches (even my scalp ached lolz)after surviving my first grueling class in TKD. After enduring years of ‘No, we’re not permitting you to join this sport…” from my parents, I was determined to enroll no matter. I felt more in those 2 years I’ve invested in the sport and not stuck in a day-in, day-out routine. Good luck with learning the guitar. I saw Guitar Hero being played once in one my fave shows and I thought of looking up a guitar for myself. My fingers are not the same playing the ivory keys. Haha

  • http://www.somethinglikearapper.wordpress.com Jimmy Valentime

    Post some more vids of you singing and playing

    You got a great voice

    I still have shade on my i+pod…

    An may this season you guys can do

    Smallville the musical!

  • Jade Ruby

    A-Heh! +ahem+

    “When something is easy, when there is no callous or cut, is it really worth it?”

    There is a quote that relates the callouses with easy:
    “It’s not ‘practice makes perfect’ it never was, what it is is, ‘with practice, ease’”.

    The thing about being great at one’s craft is that continual reaching, not being satisfied or complacent with your present state.

  • taylor nikole

    awww :)
    im learning to play the uke

  • http://www.myspace.com/468270683 VaPaola

    I honestly know how you feel. I have to divide my time between being with my son in the morning, studing in afternoon and working at nights. I get so tired and sleepy sometimes… I just wanna scream! And then I remember why I’m doing it all. And keep doing it.

  • Ulric

    the more we accomlish the more stronger we are as human beings. You are a very creative and artistic individual and I can see you have no problems expressing yourself. This blog thing is a very neat and effective way for you to communicate your feelings and views in regards to your everyday life. Cheers to you for doing this…

  • Amanda N.

    I think in a sense your right.It’s always when I see evidence of the hard work where I really feel like I truly acomplished something.But I don’t know if there always have to be bruises and cuts to show that something was done.I think it also depends on the activity being completed.

    Allison you have a really beautiful voice,I absolutely adore you singing.I think it is pretty cool that you are venturing out there and learning to play a musical instrument.I play trombone in my highschool marching band.It is something that I have to work really hard at.When I see the red bruises on my feet,feel the roughness of my hands,and see the dark tan I’ve aquired from spending numerous hours in the sun,I really do feel that I worked hard to learn the music and sets for the show.

    It would be so awesome to hear you play a song on the guitar.I hope the learning and practicing goes well for you.Those are two things that I really love about life,learning and practice,you never really escape it.I hope when you feel good and comfortable enough that you might post a sample of your playing,I would reallllly enjoy that!

  • Clarisse

    I know exactly what you mean. And it’s actually a two-way situation. You look at the marks you got and you feel like you earned what you got, that you worked hard for it. And at the same time if you look at the final product you feel like all the effort you made, everything you’ve been through, was worth it.

  • william

    Working hard does make u feel good! sounds cool what u are learing. hey, how long has the little smily face been on the bottom of the screen? had to ask lol.
    william

  • Susana

    Aw i’m sorry Allison yet it is a good thing the way you put it because in the end your hard work will pay off. I am a dancer, have been since I was like 12 I love it always have always will, yet my feet hurt all the time my big toe is always bleeding from my point shoes. The first couple of years I complained & bitched all the time about how I could barely walk & I had such calloused feet & my big toes always hurt lol, but I love the way you put it because thats how I see my situation too, I see it as I am doing the work yet my body is alive & is taking it in as well but I love it! It makes me feel alive & I don’t know excited in soo many levels.

    & it pays off in so many ways, I just got cast in my lead with the group I am super excited yet scared to take that big step into being the leader

    Love your blogs Allison they always make me smile

    Take Care & keep up the hard work

    Susana

  • Ornell@ $@nt¡ll¡

    Allison:
    Apart from acting, you have a special vocation as a writer too. The way how you reveal your thoughts and feelings through such exquisite words would make you a best seller writer, really!!!
    You’ll have to take my advice into account! Ha,ha,ha…

  • Ornell@ $@nt¡ll¡

    P.S: keep playing and compose some melody for us “your community”.

    It’s 1:10 a.m in Argentina. Good night!

    See you tomorrow!

    Ornella

  • Diana

    I love how you related the callouses on your fingers from playing guitar to the reality of being a human being and feeling both pain and satisfaction through “blood”, “sweat”, and “tears”.

  • Shane

    Dude that’s wicked i didn’t know you played. That is also the most awesome way i’ve heard someone talk about their calliuous

  • http://www.chloesullivansite.com/ BOUROUX

    Hi Allison.
    It’s a day of learning, the video this morning and guitar this afternoon.
    A few years ago, we purchased an electronic keyboard. I practiced for almost 2 years and without really knowing why, I stopped.
    Yet I had the pleasure to learn.
    Does your character in the film of june will play the guitar?
    It would be great to see you sing a song with the guitar in an episode of Smallville. You have a beautiful voice.
    Good night
    Claude.

  • http://twitter.com/rafaelrn Rafael Ribeiro

    Hi Allison! This is my first comment here. I’m a musician. I play several instruments, at least I try… (I’m kidding hahaha) my favorites are acoustic guitar and eletric guitar.

    Don’t worry about the caloused fingers, they will gradually make you better when you play the guitar, I mean, because the calluses will protect your
    fingers tip.

    Listen, I’ve got a lot of compositions I wrotte to you! Interested? my God! we will record a CD together! but first you have to listen them, they are all passionate.

    Something good to me.

    Kisses to you and and don’t give up,
    because in the end everything works right!

    twitter.com/rafaelrn

    ;D

    R.

  • Neil

    Hey, Allison!

    I left you 2 messages on your MySpace page. Hope those words I left for you help some with all the changes going on in your life. I really care about you. You’re a great friend!

    Always,
    - Neil

  • Grayson

    The world is balance…appreciation through hard work, and appreciation of what is given freely. Music comes from callouses and hours of work and sacrifice, but to the listener (not the player), it takes a simple sense most of us are born with, hearing. Balance. An athlete works months on end…yet the fans scream wildly when they win…joy for both, balance. I put no effort into watching you act, and yet I find great value in the entertainment I receive. You put great effort into your acting, yet receive compliments from us fans with great ease (at least, I hope you do). I think the value comes from the purpose of the soul…to achieve or to appreciate, and we make that decision hundreds of times each day, I believe.

  • Rainer

    Everything i hear is fantastic :) I started playing the guitar 2 years ago and i like it very much. VERY cool that u started to play the guitar, this is opportunity to create, to express everything, that comes within you. And it kinda goes under the art aswell.

  • Rainer

    Hey, Allison
    I had an idea, that you could make a video blog out of your guitar practising and singing. There we could see u play and sing, aswell post back our flims about us singing, playing the guitar for you to see. What do you think of this idea? Can it be done?

  • Jade Ruby

    Grayson Says:
    “I put no effort into watching you act, and yet I find great value in the entertainment I receive.”

    That you even bothered to seek and reply to this blog means that, yes you’ve put forth some effort in watching Allison act. Yet and still, you put in the effort to return again and again to enjoy the fruits of her labor on the screen.

    The Internet is a unique form of communication, where in complement to the job she does so well on the screen, we get to have a more immediate feedback than snail mail, and you get to put forth a little more effort to express your opinion on what kind of job you think she has performed for her target audience. One of the best signs of worth is when you are willing to pay attention.

  • MarilyneL

    Wow! I just loved that post! Guitar uh? haha welcome in the crazy-amazing-expressing/creating/exploring world of music making! :D

  • Silvia

    Hi Allison,

    The guitar is a wonderful instrument. Five strings and a piece of wood can create so many beautiful melodies. :-) Maybe you should try to play the strings with a button. A lot of women and even some men do – it’s better for the finger tips. :-)

    xo
    Silvia

  • Electra

    PS
    How is Bosely?

  • Beth

    You’re learning how to play guitar?
    That’s awesome!
    I wanna learn how to play the guitar!

    Go Ally!

    xoxo
    Beth

  • Beth

    A Smallville musical sounds interesting.
    I know Allison can sing. What about the rest of the cast?

  • http://www.myspace.com/rostafarian Ross UK

    Er… Allison, I think your guitar is broken. Every guitar I’ve ever played has either 6 or 12 strings, not 5. I think mandolins and ukeleles have 4 double sets of strings but banjos have 5 strings.

    I think it’s great you’re learning to play the guitar. I started when a little over 15 years ago when I was about 10ish and began by learning classical guitar and later I got myself an electric guitar as well. What sort of guitar have you got? The big difference, other than the electric part, is in the shape of the neck and the type of strings. The neck on a classical guitar is wider than an electric or a ‘folk’ guitar and the body interrupts the neck at the 12th fret, which means it’s difficult to play the really high notes you get in modern solos. A classical guitar also uses nylon strings rather than steel, which is a hell of a lot easier on your fingers. You still have to build up calluses to stop it hurting but they don’t actually shred your fingers to a bloody pulp.

    I picked up my guitar after a short break a couple of months ago and my calluses had all gone – I had to build them up all over again, but I started playing through all my old music and rediscovered how rewarding it was. I actually went so far as to record myself and post it on my MySpace and Live Space sites.

    Make the most of your music and keep up with it. Not only is it rewarding in itself, but if you ever let it slide it can be difficult to get back to where you were.

  • http://www.myspace.com/rostafarian Ross UK

    By the way, if you want to get really great melodies out of a guitar, think about finding a guitar ensemble/group. The piano has an advantage of the guitar in that you can get 10 different notes at any given time, but if you get a group of guitars playing different parts it can make a massive difference to the complexity of the music. Even just a pair of guitars playing different parts can be astonishing – have a look at Rodrigo y Gabriela, a pair of musicians from Mexico whose music is influenced by both traditional flamenco and heavy metal!

  • garbhan

    haha i used to get callouses when i used to play the violin, made it easier to fold down the strings. i liked them, i used to rub the hard parts of my finger tips on my lips. i found it strange but satisfying. well i was a bit of a weird child haha.

  • garbhan

    p.s rock on

  • Jade Ruby

    Here’s a musical interlude with one of my favorite tunes, the jazz standard, Spain. Performing are Larry Coryell, Al Dimeola, and Bireli Lagrene.

    (http://preview.tinyurl.com/nb2uvr)

  • Kris

    I’ve got a pretty good callus going as a result of trying to learn to bowl left handed. I didn’t get off to a great start, but the skin on my thumb knuckle is growing back nicely ;)

    And in two months of practicing, I’ve double my average from about a 45 to almost 90. I’m happy with my callus, too.

  • Beth

    Shane you make an excellent point.

  • Beth

    About Ally always being able to see the glass half full so to speak.

    I love that.
    It’s so inspirational.

  • http://awakeinyou.blogspot.com Ruthie

    This is a good reminder….to feel aliveness. Hmmn. Sometimes I remember this, crack my head on a kitchen cupboard door hanging open and the response to lash out rises up, then I remember to just feel it…to be in that moment of awareness in my body. Pretty amazing. Sometimes a heartache is numbing instead of enlivening…it depends on our outlook I suppose. I need my heartaches to crack me open to life, though. Thank you for that.

    I don’t play my guitar (or other instruments) nearly enough any more. Sad that I have little reason too. I guess personal enjoyment should be reason enough. Back in the college days I played all the time. I’ve definitely let motherhood send many loves to the back seat. This post has me pining, though.

  • http://deleted Robin

    Some very thoughtful comments Allison.

    It’s all too human to “want” the easy life, to do things that we find easy and less difficult (or maybe it’s just me).

    Yet when we llok back on some of the challanges in life that life throws at us, it is without doubt those things which with suffered through, find the toughest that have tested us the most which upon looking back…we find the greatest sense of pride/accomplishment /experience or in you’re own words “aliveness”!

    I’s a bit like that old cliche of people finding inner strength, of people pulling together when things seem at their worst that brings out the very best in us humans, why is that?

    Enjoy learning to play the guitar, you really are an inspiration.

    Have fun.

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