Compassion…

Question! What is compassion?

It’s a word I use constantly! All the time! I find myself discussing and calling for compassion as often as I use my name . But what is it? How can I claim to stand for something I can’t define?

Have you ever asked someone to just “be honest”? What is that? Can you define this process for you? Ghandi said (and I am paraphrasing terribly), if you ask someone to do something you would never do yourself it is an inhumane act of enslavement.

So, essentially, does that mean that if I ask someone to “be honest” or “be compassionate” and yet I have no understanding of what this even means to me, that is, in fact, an inhumane act?

Huh? How does that work? I find I spin in circles with this one. If I want a world of compassion and non-violence, and yet I am violent. I will “fight for peace!” What?

Anyway.

Compassion? What is it? Definition to come.

xo
Allison

  • Ems
  • Adam

    Hey there,

    actually compassion seems to come quite naturaly to the human kind. But you’ll see what I mean. !0 years ago aproximately some researchers discovered what they called the “mirror neuron”. They observed that the same area that would be active if you would perform an action, or suffer one, this same area was also active when seeing someone else performing -or suffering- these actions. It only has to be something you can do yourself, not if it involves something you can’t do. Hence if you see someone cutting his finger with a knife, you really feel it with the etymologic sense of com-passion, meaning that you relate to it with the same part of your brain that would be active if you’d cut your own finger. That’s compassion !

    ok well I just saw some light so here are my 3 cents. I also read a book by Albert Cohen recently where he advocates a lot for compassion, a little book where he tells his experience as a little jew of 10 and the antesimitic experience he had then in France, and how it changed his life for always. “O you, human brothers” may probably be a very poor translation of the title in english. And as I’m here I ask an inopinate last moment question : if we relate as humans as brothers, so important in friendship too, as a concept, and in politics, where is the place of the feminine in this humanity we relate on ?
    Because history, hence religions, litterature, etc, has been written by men, we, both men and women are living on principles that are at the root infiltrated by a false universal, and that is to say : “we, as one man, we, brothers”. It will eventually be the woman role to be a kind of maternal figure we like to mythificate ( actually problem is with the femininists that they say other things but they are still also believing in this mythification !)

    ahhh – as always I went too far, going into uncharted improvised territories, probably saying some stupid things going by, and all that with the english of a madman drinking tea on a baseball field. Sorry, Allison – ahh but what would I not do just to feel a little of your compassion going through me ! lol

    take care, everyone

  • Jade Ruby

    James Says:
    “A world of total compassion and no conflict would be a world without meaning. A fleeting existence of walking around with a big grin on our faces, but nothing at the core of us. Would that be a good world?”

    Between earthquakes, hurricanes, and tsunamis, I propose we use American football to settle conflicts.

  • Adam

    Hey there again,

    I thought I said something stupid but this on the relation of feminine and masculine in the concept of humanity made me realise that maybe what happened is when we said in the past “let’s be brothers”, or “Men are equals” etc etc, we really didn’t encapsuled women in it. It’s like a Freudian thing. It’s so big it goes unseen, as the stolen letter case ( a wellknown analysis) where the letter is where everyone can see it. ( So by the way, if you want to “write a letter to a stranger”, and actually be red, do not let it where the person can obviously see it. Hide it. Or maybe you prefer to stay hidden in the bright light… No ?)Here it would be so obvious to say that ” hey you’re not speaking about our sisters here !”, that it was of course the better way to hide it ! Think about it : history has been made by men for the most part, and probably this way to define history is by itself male oriented. It is quite impressive to think that we’re living right now this “feminine liberation”, but at the same time, the liberation will take far longuer, as we can see most concepts have been conceived by the male oriented attitude. And what’s incredible is : we don’t even know what would be a feminine politic -not masquerading men. And more we can’t envision what would be a humanity really equal with men and women.
    Of course one could could say “I don’t buy it, here’s the feminine and the masculine and it’s unrelated to male and female, meaning that we both have these two parts in us. Yeah, but it would not change that for thousand of years, it was the female sex that was dominated, and of course feminine is related to female, there’s no way to denie it ! So the feminine part would obviously had to be eclipsed. But we don’t have so much on who is dominating at home… Of course that would be a different history, the kind that men didn’t do… let’s say Nietzsche was one of the first to say life of a philosopher is as important as what he wrote, in order to understand it correctly. That something in life – like for him the death of his father at age 5 – would cause great philosophical perturbations – the concept of Eternal Return. of course that does not by itself obliterate the concepts. Nothing is pure of any crazyness, and that’s how we are. Where was I ?
    Yes so in the end all the history since now was not about women. It is not right now neither. It’s still for the future. Ta ta ta tsin tsin ( here inserts the mains title of “Terminator”)

    Or not. But hey tonight it wanted to go there. Have a little compassion. In the bible compassion is regarded somewhere as the most important of all, maybe the Corinthiens. What is fun is the first thing Christians did historicaly is hating the Jews… looking for someone to blame for the death of Christ, etc. But Christianism is not Christ, it’s even the exact opposite (even if he may not have existed, but what importance ? we still understand what he said… ;-)

    ciao

  • Adam

    ) :-)

  • http://www.chloesullivansite.com/ Bouroux

    Hi Allison.
    Compassion for people who are not close to us is very different than for those who are.
    For strangers, we have an open-minded, warm attitude, a good heart. We are more objective and less under the control of our emotions.
    When it comes to our relatives, people we love, emotions influence our compassion.
    If you want know what compassion is, look at a good mother and how she takes care of her infant child. That is the essence of compassion.
    Sometimes we are responsible for the sorrows of our loved ones.
    We take some decisions which are difficult to our parents and friends, but we believe that we must do it right or wrong.
    How to show compassion when we caused the situation.
    We can suddenly become people without compassion because we are personally involved. The reaction of our parents and friends can generate anger, frustration and misunderstanding.
    Here are some feelings that are not compatible with compassion.
    Compassion is to get into the skin of another. When we become parents, we can understand better what the word compassion means. Compassion is to accept not to judge others too quickly even their actions cause us trouble.

    With a better compassion we will become a better son, daughter, father, mother and friend.

    Good night.
    Claude

  • thomas

    common passion

  • http://estranhasverdadesrelativas.blogspot.com/ robsonrs

    i think compassion is giving of yourself with no thought of reward. ²

  • Susana

    Yay Allison your back!!! Glad to have you back on here :) we missed you very much

    I love this entry blog about compassion & what is it. Because I don’t fully understand it either I don’t have a clue as to what it means or why we should be this, there are several words I don’t really know what the meaning is because I don’t know how you just naturally have it or what like Faith I have it yet I don’t know if I do or not I don’t really understand it that well also love & hope all these are just another language that I hope to have accomplished sometime in the near future when I can understand more things right now I feel like i’m still growing as many of us so I hope to understand all these words

    You are not alone Allison don’t worry :)

    Take Care,

    Susana

  • ziggy_reaper

    I have never herd that paraphrase of Gandhi but I don’t agree with it. To me that’s to much like The Golden Rule, treat others as you want to be treated. But that means you can treat people however you want as long as you don’t mind if they attempt to treat you the same way. You don’t treat people like you want them to treat you, you treat them as THEY wish to be treated. So no asking people to do something you would not do or do not fully understand is not immoral. It might be unreasonable but not immoral.

    As far as what compassion is. It is an emotion just ike other emotions. To me trying to define compassion would be as impossible as trying to define love. As humans we get to caught up in explaining everything with words. If you have felt compassion you know what it is. Whether or not you can put words to it does not matter.

  • http://www.fanfictionuniverse.com Marfeic2011

    First of all the TWITTER reminder was cool – otherwise I never would have known about this topic.

    To me compassion is not about right or wrong, it is having grace for what another person needs in that moment. Compassion then can mean different things in different situations, but overall I think it means bending to the needs (emotional, physical, spritual, etc) of someone else because they have need of your mercy or kindness in whatever circumstance it is.

    Sometimes compassion is lying when you know the person cannot bear the truth.

    Sometimes compassion is stealing when the alternative is a friend dying of hunger.

    Sometimes compassion is turning someone in because you know it is really what is best for them at the moment.

    Compassion then, in my opinion, is not bound by typicall moral conventions, but is a type of grace that conforms to whatever is needed in the moment, and grows out of a love for another human being/s.

  • choosehopenow

    Recognizing the suffering of others, empathizing with them and then opening up your heart in some way to show you care.

  • Michi

    In German we have more words for compassion. Among others “Mitleid” and “Mitgefühl”. Mitleid = mit=with and leid=sorrow. I don´t like to say “Mitleid”. It´s even stated to people who are to weknesses character for example “You are so bad, I feel only sorry for you”.
    It´s delivers for me that I´m pity with somebody, but thats all.
    I say rather “Mitgefühl”. I feel with the person. I feel with someone I better understand him. That´s my view.
    Have a nice day

    Michi
    I say rather “Mitgefühl”.

  • http://matt724.wetpaint.com IreneT

    I was going to give you a list of definitions that I found, but in my experience, I have found that ‘Compassion’ is easy to define. It is Love in action, or an act of love.

  • http://www.orkut.com.br/Main#Profile.aspx?uid=5177125936439365920 kelwenzera

    Compassion never gonna be defined, like: Love, Sorrow, Angry, i dont know.. or, be a human. Do good things to another person, help a defective person to cross de street, maybe. Can be a lot of things, but, certainly, is a thing connected with be a good human who helps, who show compassion. You will know when this person release this feeling.

  • dortoto

    compassion is the care, pain, love, hurt, anguish and joy we feel without expecting anything in return.

  • Lyka Marques

    Compassion…
    Love, patience, mercy and action!
    It was what Jesus did and do… and nobody better him to teach us!

  • http://makarena.bravehost.com Adna

    Compassion is love, understanding, putting yourself into somebody else’s shoes for a while. It is a new perspective.

  • Jade Ruby

    You know, I always wondered if the UK is satisfied with being frozen with a now permanent royal family. Without civil war, how could any family challenge the right to claim the Crown from the sitting dynasty? That’s right! I dare the royal family to take on all challenging families for a duel to take the ceremonial head dynasty of the UK! The means? American football!!! The dynasty’s team that wins the Royal Bowl, gets to hold the crown for the next 50 years without challenges!

  • Jade Ruby

    Of course, I guess the royal family would rather choose polo. +snicker+ :)

  • http://www.twitter.com/michaeldesantis madman77

    Compassion is “One who shows mercy.”

  • http://sifons.blogspot.com fons

    glad you’re back, Alison!=D the past few days i’ve been watching Smallville reruns in our place and it made me think, you and the character you portray in the show, Chloe, really have a lot in common. You’re both nice, smart..

    Anyways..compassion? I don’t really know what it means. But maybe it makes me feel good. Maybe it’s the feeling I get when I extend myself to people beyond my circle. I don’t really know how to describe it. Maybe it is, (let me borrow a phrase our Benedictine Sister slash highschool principal once wrote on our yearbook), being a woman for others.

  • http://www.myspace.com/rostafarian Ross UK

    Jade Ruby, I don’t think most Britons ever think about there being no change to the ruling family – most discussion tends to revolve around whether we should have a royal family at all. I think people would agree that if we’re gonna have a royal family, the current one has as much right to it as anyone has to their inheritance. Most people are happy to leave the royal family be since they don’t really do much other than charity work and bring in tourists – although we’re nominally a monarchy, the crown pretty much rubber-stamps parliament, which is democratically elected.

    Besides, if there was gonna be a free-for-all it would be football (soccer), or maybe rugby or cricket, but definately not American football – no one plays it here. Hmmm… they used to call cock-fighting “the sport of kings” – do you think they should bring it back for special occasions like this? By the way, why do you guys call it football when you don’t use your feet?
    :D

  • Jade Ruby

    Ross UK, American football started out as rugby football until the rule changes instituted by Walter Camp (April 7, 1859 – March 14, 1925). I don’t think you need any chicken fights for the Crown! :D

  • Jade Ruby

    I just watched Allison’s directing extra.
    Good job Allie!

  • kris7884

    Compassion is “walking a mile [or more] in someone else’s shoes” Only when we try to put ourselves in anothers place can we really understand what they might be going through or where the may be coming from. The ultimate example of this is God. He had compassion on us when He sent his Son Jesus to us in human form.

    “[Jesus] understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:15-16

  • http://www.purevolume.com/laura laura_sheets

    Words don’t do Compassion justice.

  • Smallvillekent

    I just picked up the Smallville 8th season DVD. Jade Ruby you are right. Allison did a excellent job in directing extra. They work very hard but also have a fun time doing it. Go Chlark!

  • Jade Ruby

    Smallvillekent, I’m so happy that she’s getting another opportunity this season to direct another episode and sharpen her skills.

  • mark4851

    I cannot describe compassion for i cannot find the words. i could not describe love for the same reason. They are feelings that come from deep inside oneself that we instincively know but could never fully define.

  • lordkinbote

    Compassion, to me, is akin to empathy. Perhaps empathy is the beginning of compassion. I think you empathize with someone or something in that you feel, it can be in varying degrees, what some other creature feels. But, that’s only the beginning. Compassion seems to have more to do with empathizing with some creature that has a plight and then reacting to that feeling of empathy, whether it be in doing something physically, or saying something about it or even consciously thinking it. It is making a conscious decision to feel and acknowledge the plight of some other living creature. At least, that’s what it means to me, off the top of my head.

  • lordkinbote

    One thing that relates to compassion is a great quote I heard (on the new version of Dragnet that came out a few years ago, of all places) about the nature of “evil.” If I recall, the episode involved a murdered woman who had been, it seemed, working as a high-priced escort. When her very conservative twin sister was notified of her death, the sister basically said that she reaped what she sowed and basically got what she deserved because she led an evil lifestyle. Detective Friday then said to her, “My grandmother always told me that ‘evil’ was the lack of compassion.” It shut the woman up and made me ponder that it is probably THE best definition I ever heard of “evil,” which is such a vague term and all too often gets wrapped up in religious rhetoric when it isn’t necessarily religious at all. This definition makes it much easier to define evil actions, if not an evil person.

  • anyelyna

    The Dalai Lama said once this of the compassion and i like to share it with you especially with my dear friend Allison:

    We call compassion to the aptitude to feel near the pain of the others and the will to relieve his sorrow, but often we are unable to take to the practice what we propose ourselves, and this beautiful word dies without having given his fruits.

    What is the compassion? The compassion is the desire of which the others are free of suffering. Thanks to her (it) we aspire to reach the lighting; it is the one that inspires us to beginning in the virtuous actions that they lead to the condition of the buda, and therefore we must direct our efforts to his development.

    I think that it is a beautiful definition, God gave to us this wonderful feeling, and to learn to use it is difficult. Day after day we must try for approaching more the people and to try to help and try them to feel his pain as ours to be able to feel the real feeling of compassion.

  • Ivy Icetree

    “How can I claim to stand for something I can’t define?”

    You can claim it through your actions. Maybe that’s why it can’t be defined… Compassion is more action than word.

    “Have you ever asked someone to just “be honest”? What is that? Can you define this process for you? Ghandi said (and I am paraphrasing terribly), if you ask someone to do something you would never do yourself it is an inhumane act of enslavement.”

    If you ask someone to be honest (or compassionate, or whatever), it’s simply a want and need for the truth. If you ask someone to do something you would never do yourself it is an inhumane act of enslavement because hypocrisy will imprison you. But in the case of honesty and compassion, if you show such acts, then you don’t fall into the category of hypocrisy. You want the truth because you tell the truth, and you want compassion because you show compassion.

    “So, essentially, does that mean that if I ask someone to “be honest” or “be compassionate” and yet I have no understanding of what this even means to me, that is, in fact, an inhumane act?”

    No. You don’t have to understand the meaning. All you have to do is to do what you say. I think Gandhi meant that if you yourself don’t follow what you say (equivalent to hypocrisy), then you commit an inhumane act.

    “I will “fight for peace!” What?”
    Yeah, the world can be such a paradox. The best way to have peace is to stop war, though. That’s it. But if one side won’t give up, then neither will the other. It goes in circles. It’s a vicious cycle.

    Basically it’s the definition that you’re after. I suppose, at this point, what really should matter is faith.

    I once asked a friend why we were friends, and he said, “Is there some sort of surety you need in knowing the “why” of a friendship? Some things just are…like religion and their higher beings. Some things are taken on faith.”

  • http://psmallsp.blogspot.com smalls

    I think that compassion means to try and understand what someone is feeling. Naturally we can’t always no what someone is feeling since we don’t experience the exact same hardships, and heartaches that everyone else does. If we say we have compassion we are trying our best to understand what someone is feeling and have support.
    With honesty I think that although we can be honest by not telling lies to the people around us, we need to be honest with ourselves as well. We need to realize the mistakes we are making and instead of lying to ourselves about our mistakes accept that they have happened and try to fix them.

  • Beth

    Wow…thats interesting stuff about the origin of ‘compassion’ Matt. I had no idea where the word originated from.

  • Beth

    That’s an excellent response Robin. I think your question may actually be more difficult to answer than Allison’s! However I completely agree with your final comment. Even if something seems extremely difficult, it may prove less impossible than you first imagined it might be. That shouldn’t prevent us from attempting to accomplish our goals.

  • Beth

    To suffer together divides the sorrow, while to rejoice together intensifies the happiness.
    It’s the human nature, no one can be alone whether it’s in a painful moment or a joyous one.
    That is what compassion is.
    To live, together.
    -I love the way you quoted that angiesp, and I’m really starting to love this topic Allison.

  • Beth

    “Life is to long. If we are only meant to wander alone, searching for meaning in this world, life is much too long.” Meaning exists, because if it didn’t, nothing else would. The search for meaning causes belief, and belief causes conflict. A world of total compassion and no conflict would be a world without meaning. A fleeting existence of walking around with a big grin on our faces, but nothing at the core of us. Would that be a good world?
    -James I love and agree with your entire last paragraph.

    If everyone were happy all the time then we wouldn’t be human. There needs to be a balance of good and bad, otherwise good isn’t really good and bad isn’t really bad. Unless the two words exist together, they are meaningless.

  • Beth

    Ems: thanks for sharing givesmehope. I love it…

  • Beth

    Between earthquakes, hurricanes, and tsunamis, I propose we use American football to settle conflicts.
    -hilarious Jade

  • Jade Ruby

    Beth Says:
    “Between earthquakes, hurricanes, and tsunamis, I propose we use American football to settle conflicts.
    -hilarious Jade ”

    Thanks Beth, I’m glad you think so.

  • coffeerox

    Since everyone’s trying to define what compassion is, that is something I won’t do. Instead, let me offer you my view on compassion. I think that in this world, there’s not a lot of compassion going on. People step over each other because they lack compassion for a human being. So how would you go about understanding compassion? The answer lies within yourself. Only you can understand compassion and it’s something that YOU want to feel for another and it can only be gained after going through life in one way or another.

    Being compassionate can apply to all sorts of situations, using it will be different. If you don’t try to apply it when the situations come up, then how will you learn what compassion really is?

  • http://psmallsp.blogspot.com smalls

    I totally agree with you coffeerox. People tend to not be compassionate with the people around them. It seems that people are only concerned with themselves and not the world around them.

  • adrenaline

    Compassion: A sympathetic awareness of anothers suffering or adversity coupled with a desire to alleviate it.

    Honest: means to be truthful and free of fraud. Honesty requires you to be fair in dealing with others—straightforward, honorable, not deceptive or misleading. An honest person is a man of integrity. Being always trustworthy, he will never cheat his fellowman

    Anyways, I think these concepts (although can be defined in a dictionary) are still very vague and generally unclear at times. But I think if you ask someone to “be honest” and you’re not then that’s being unkind. But I think if a person truly is looking for the answer to these concepts and trying to cultivate them is a good thing. As long as we try.

  • TherapeuticRambling

    It’s what we hope we have when others don’t. I wonder sometimes if we’ve confused it with empathy, which shares the awareness of someone else’s suffering, but it doesn’t include a desire to change it.

    Think feeling bad for homeless people and defenseless animals….but not doing anything to help them.

  • kaliber

    I did not read all the rest of the comments, so I do not know if this was mentioned, but I wanted to point out that a “fight for peace” is not about violence, it is about struggle. Fighting (in the sense that you are struggling) for peace and a compassionate, non-violent world is not hypocritical in the least.

    As far as considering asking someone to “be honest” or “compassionate” to be an “inhumane act of enslavement” when you cannot satisfy a need to personalize their definitions…you (presumably) have an innate understanding of the concepts. These concepts seem to be something that either you (as in, you, Allison Mack, not the general “you”) can do, or strive to do. To ask someone to do something that you cannot does not make it wrong, it makes us individuals. We each have our strengths and weaknesses, our abilities and our shortcomings. Seeing another succeed in something that we have previously failed at can give us the strength, motivation, or wisdom on how to now achieve it ourselves.

    No one can be 100% honest, no one can be 100% compassionate. It can be a guiding theme for our lives, but there will always be fleeting moments (at best) where we do not live up to these ideals.

  • Jade Ruby

    kaliber Says:
    “No one can be 100% honest, no one can be 100% compassionate. It can be a guiding theme for our lives, but there will always be fleeting moments (at best) where we do not live up to these ideals.”

    I can understand that. As for me, for better or for worse, I just have yet to feel jealousy; however, I do have fleeting moments of envy. I have never had long sustained periods where I’ve been envious of anyone, it’s usually over in about 3 minutes or less. Anger though, that’s a different story. That’s how come I can understand when Hindu, Buddhist, and Christian mystics recommend dispassionate compassion. Hence, most people around here know the sayings of “Turn the other cheek,” and, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

  • Mario

    hello there,

    i hope this will help you, but i hope it will help me understand as well. compassion through Nietzsche’s view is something terrible, that people who can’t understand use it to feel about something or to describe a certain feeling. he said that fear and the fact that you acknowledge that emotion is the right path, but also he said that he felt compassion for himself, which confused him. from my point of view, compassion is attempt to understand others emotions, to reach out to them. and you can be a compassionate person, even though you did terrible things. trust me on this, not speaking from my own meandering experience, but i’ve lived my share of life at full-throttle and some of my friends, who aren’t reliable people, or who are greedy, they managed to let themselves go and help me. that is true compassion in my own point of view.
    Forget yourself just for a bit, forget that the other person you’re trying to help feels anything at that precise moment, and just be there. Even your simple presence in someones life, could actually be acknowledged as compassion. Allow others to know you, to reach that tiny space which you won’t let anyone invade.

  • neeza

    Compassion is taking sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. Compassion can be pity, sympathy, empathy, care, concern, solicitude, sensitivity, warmth, love, tenderness, mercy, leniency, tolerance, kindness, humanity, charity.