Mentors

I recently spoke of a “mentor” of mine and the responses surprised me. People seemed to be very resistant to the idea that I have a person in my life I turn to for advice when asking myself the tough questions.
If I am reading the responses right, people seemed to think that by honoring my teachers or mentors I was diminishing myself. The objections inspired me to take a deeper look at my own thoughts on these relationships.

 

I find it strange how uncomfortable we are in North America with words like “guru”, “mentor” and “teacher.” In most parts of the world the relationship between teacher and apprentice is an obvious part of life. You find these relationships in areas of skill. For instance, even in North America, if you want to become a welder you apprentice a tradesman. You work “under” someone who is more “masterful” at this practice and you build your skill alongside them. Is it really that odd to have someone you look up to when learning about compassion and relationships? Really?

 

I am shaped and molded by the wise mentors of my life. They have made a permanent impression on me. I am imprinted by my experience and everything I am now is affected by them.

 

I look at something as simple and superficial as the clothes in my closet and I see so many past influences: my first acting teachers in the wooden, silver and gold bangles I keep hanging on my dresser; I see Diane Keaton in the over-sized trousers I store next to my collection of men’s dress shirts and vests; I see three of my best friends in the silk, Indian scarves that drape over porcelain hooks coming out of my wall.

 

I am a cornucopia of those I have been inspired by, an amalgamation of their expressions and mine. Because I have known them I allow myself to be more flamboyant, more creative, and more, well. . . me. I choose bits of wisdom they offer in all ways and I benefit from that.

 

I am committed to openly admitting there is always more to learn and scouring the world for all types of “gurus.” This is, I believe, a practice of gratitude, respect, and enlightenment. I kind of think it is the point of existence. And in recognizing these teachers I am more defined in myself.

 

John Glover and Greg Beeman are two great mentors of mine in acting and directing.

 

Keith Raniere is a man who epitomizes mindfulness and compassion for me. Esther Chiappone is a fiercely truthful woman I know. They are both my mentors in being a true humanitarian.

 

My dear friend and editor Rob Gray is my mentor in communication and the beauty of a lyrical life.

 

My boyfriend is my mentor in unconditional love and finding balance through depthy play.

 

My best girl friends are my mentors in forgiveness, patience, and laughter. And good wine and chocolate.

 

My mom is my mentor in family. My nephew, my mentor in the simplicity of joy.

 

These people are all my mentors, people I consider teachers of great expertise, some teach through accomplishment, others through just being. In my opinion, to see greatness in others is to live a life of curiosity and humility.

 

I search for those who understand what I don’t and when I find someone who has qualities I long for, qualities I don’t yet understand, I pay attention.

 

I listen, I observe, and I grow.

 

But teachers are all around us: the Travelocity operator I decided to lose my patience with who challenged me to learn greater empathy and patience; the woman I drank a glass of wine with at The Henry Public House who told stories of her web romance and taught me that, internet or not, we are all just seeking some sense of love and belonging; the boisterous kid on a swing set who at the top of his lungs inspired the entire playground to join in singing an acapella remix of “I like to move it, move it” and reminded me of the inherent joy in free and unapologetic expression; all these wise mentors are disguised as everyday people, each offering valuable life lessons.

 

These moments that often go unrecognized are like the healthy meals that never get the appreciation they deserve. They propel us forward humbly and with quiet potency.

 

I want to thank each of you for continuing to teach me about the corners of humanity I could never see without you. I am eternally enriched because of your presence and participation. Know that I am grateful, enthusiastic, and open to hearing, reading, and watching your authentic and personal stories, thoughts and ideas. I am a better woman for it.

Newer Comments →
  • Héctor

    Hi, I want to add, as this space lets me, that there isn’t only learning through being under a mentor’s wing, teaching, is a great way of learning too, as knowledge goes both ways.
    If you want to ‘grow’ as you say, there is nothing stopping you, so you just need to let yourself see that new information about life, or about your acting career, or anything you want.

    Glad you keep writing!

  • Lil_loz_1988

    Everybody needs a mentor, someone to turn to for advice! I turn my mum for advice and I turn to my surrounding for inspiration!

  • Laura

    Every time I read ur personal and incredible posts I have to make a deep introspection of myself, I have to think about every line u write and my life.. and it’s true.. we have people all around us and we don’t even notice them, they teach us how to be ourselves by just being by our side, they help us to grow and they make incredible moments and things, small things are what gives that magic to ordinary days :) and we have so much to learn.. is amazing.. ur amazing! I’d like to be even a bit of the good, creative, compassive, humanist and nice person you are.. you’re my idol.

  • Thomas_D

    That is about as high of a road as one can take. Well done, Mack…. well done.

  • CFI_Guy

    Nice post. I have always been encouraged in the business world when I see the willingness of those with great experience willing to proffer their insights with the up and comers. I have always been shocked by those who consider mentoring as a tool only for those who are “broken” or who don’t have what it takes to make it on their own. Ironically, these are the people who will, ultimately, have trouble “making it,” at least insofar as people relationships are concerned.

    I participate as a mentor with imentor.org in New York. Great program working with kids throughout the boroughs, though I admit I’m not the best mentor in the world. I also created a mentoring program while at my former employer’s company. For those interested, a quick, easy and enjoyable guide to building a mentoring relationship can be found in the book “Monday Morning Leadership.” As with all the best guides, it does not approach this subject academically, but instead through story, which is, of course, how humans best communicate with each other.

    Where I suspect you’ll get a lot of reactions to this post is specifically with respect to Mr. Raniere. Apparently there’s quite a bit of press out there on him, from his past encounters with the law, to his business dealings and so forth. I certainly wouldn’t think to comment on his validity as a mentor. If he works for you, great. You’re a big girl and can make your own decisions. If others want to take issue with that, well, t’ain’t really none of their business, I should think.

    Ironically, what you do here — what a great number of bloggers do — is to offer a kind of remote mentoring for all of us here in the interwebs. A bit less interactive than many mentoring relationships, and still worthwhile.

    Finally, I *really* appreciated the comment about the Travelocity operator. Substitute “party rental equipment representative” and, well…yeah. :-)

    As ever, thanks for a thoughtful, insightful and heartfelt post (which I read whilst enjoying my favorite adult beverage perched on the deck of my friend’s house along the Delaware River, listening to a bit of G. P. Telemann and the falling rain, while their co-dependent dog, who I’m sitting this week, gazed at me forlornly, seeking attention. So, I’ll raise you your lavender tea and see you a mournful canine.)

    Cheers,
    Rick

  • Anon

    Do you really think people were complaining about you having mentors, or do you think they were complaining about who you CHOOSE as your mentors?

  • MichaelFromQueens

    Allison…
    “Who is the one that is wise? The one that learns from all people.”- (Peirkei Avos 4:1, A Jewish ethical work compiled in 220 A.D.)
    We are all inherently special and created with a unique purpose. There will never be another “You” or “Me” that will ever exist again. No one with your exact characteristics, emotions, skills, talents, quirks…etc.

  • http://twitter.com/Jon_Mills Jon Mills

    Ditto. Thank you and enjoy Venice, Europe is beautiful.

  • Gdublyoo

    Firstly let me say that my comments below are my own personal opinions on the general value of mentoring and whilst I offer some alternative and differing views to those you expressed in your blog, they are not intended to be a direct rebuttal of your own views.

    In your blog you consider the pursuit of knowledge and enlightenment from “all types of gurus” to perhaps be the “point of existence”. You also propose that “to see the greatness in others is to live life of curiosity and humility”

    Personally I believe that mentors or teachers can only impart the distillation of their own past experiences and acquired knowledge, which valuable as this may be, is reflective in nature and should not necessarily be accepted with humility nor become life defining.

    I believe life is more about taking chances than taking lessons.

    It is our own life experiences, our triumphs, tragedies, prejudices, hopes and fears however limited we perceive them to be, that shape our lives and inform the choices we make. We need to develop the courage to walk our own path, a path forged and tempered in the fire of our journey through life,

    The perceived wisdom or knowledge offered by mentors or teachers therefore should be challenged and validated before it is adopted or adapted, and should support but not define our lives.

    A lot of the time we view our mentors as aspirational rather than inspirational, However we are not all destined to change the world or be picked first when choosing sides in the games of life and to hope that by choosing adopt or adapt others teachings we will therefore become like them is an act of extreme hubris.

    Whilst many of us have access to, or can seek out mentors there are many people who live in relative isolation throughout the world and despite being denied access to formal teachings or acquired wisdom they can still blaze a path of glory across the sky that make us all look up in awe.

    There are also many people whose only lessons in life are hash or sometimes cruel and whilst many are doomed to grow up and repeat this cycle of despair there are also those who go on to fulfil their potential by the rejection of their “teachings”.

    In closing I would ask you not infer from my comments above that you are simply a hollow chameleon waiting to ingest the experiences of others and to be coloured by their opinions but I did find you blog stimulating and I wanted to engage in some “peripatetic” discussion on the subject.

  • Briana_MD

    I never realized that people have a problem with mentors? How else do you learn? People don’t just magically acquire knowledge and answers they absorb things from the people around them whether they mean to or not. The roommate I lived with for 4 years throughout college led to me somehow acquiring more superhero t-shirts and random dvds while some of my clothes and some of my styles steadily influenced her. There can’t help but be some sort of osmosis with people you see every day. From a history teacher I had sophmore year of high school I acquired the random habit of capitalizing my letter Ns whether they are supposed to or not because I thought about it every day in class until I realized I picked up his habit much to my English teacher’s dismay. I see it everyday with my 3 year old sister. The things she picks up from the other kids at school or from our family. I laugh hysterically watching her perfect mocking her mother while speaking to her dolls or when I teach her the best funny faces to use against our dad. Teacher or mentor shouldn’t have a negative connotation because without people to learn from and their life experiences or even different tastes, where would we be? I’ve been influenced by complete strangers who I’ve only seen through a tv or computer screen to my endless line of aunts and cousins who inspire me more than they could even know. It’s funny, I have a twin brother and even though we were born at the same period of time, held all of the same general experiences and milestones you probably can’t find 2 more different people. I chalk it all up to mentors. He loves to be the center of attention which works out perfectly for me because I’d much rather be anything but. He turned to one of my Aunts and favored my mom and developed a love for cheerleading and became a social butterfly. I turned to fiction and holed up in my room reading books and looking up to people like Sarah Michelle Gellar and decided it was “cool” to read and study because she did it. I have a party family who are nothing like me, I am the odd ball of the group (in the best way) and I credit Elizabeth Bennet, Buffy Summers, and Chloe Sullivan for this difference. The world is what you make it and the people you cross can be your greatest teachers or just some passing stranger you never make eye contact with because you can embrace new experiences (either your own or other peoples) or you can stay static in your own little world where no one can touch you.

    • Beth

      Ahh, I was also very strongly influenced by Buffy Summers. Still am now, however not quite as much as Chloe Sullivan and Allison Mack :D
      …and I completely agree with your last sentence. In the short term it can seem easier to hide underneath the covers but in the long term new experiences that at first glance seem terrifying can end up being some of the best you have.

  • Winningactors

    I wish you could come talk at my acting class in LA…you just have so many thoughtful and amazing things to say! I know this is so strange, and a huge chance, but if you ever want to be a guest speaker, we would LOVE to have you. We’re in this amazing little theater in Hollywood called ‘The Lifebook Playhouse”. Please contact winningactors@gmail.com, the teachers name is Allen! http://www.lifebookacting.com/ — again I know…so weird, and you probably won’t but it’s worth a shot to me!

  • JonathanChin

    A great martial artist Bruce Lee once said, “Empty your cup so it can be refilled”. I believe that message meant that you can never receive what you seek if you don’t have an open mind. Only by freeing your mind to listen, analyze, and understand will you receive knowledge.

    I believe it is great to honor your teachers and mentors because they are ones that impact your life.They are the ones that will help to inspire and create the person you will become.

  • Aysha1113

    Very well put, Allison. In a self-centered society, it is very difficult to accept that we aren’t the original source of our inspiration and learning. Mentors shape us, help us grow, and impact us in ways we might not even be aware of. In the South Asian culture, teachers are considered the “second parents.” They are to be respected as such. I have always revered my professors and teachers from the past. One of them in particular is a dear friend of mine to this day who inspires me every time I speak or meet with her. I appreciate the healthy meals I have with her in addition to her wisdom ;-) She represents what a strong and intellectual woman should look like.

    You are my mentor as well, Allison. I am continuously inspired by your beautiful thoughts and ideas. You push me to keep a refreshing perspective on life.

    I like learning from anyone I come across, and I like taking a part of them and incorporating them into my lives somehow, which is what you have so elegantly stated in your entry.

    It’s so powerful and awe-inspiring to see the feedback and the community of discourse you have established here. We are all learning from each other in this vicinity.

    It would be such an honor and I know an incredibly moving experience to be able to see you in person and hear your words of wisdom, not just read them! I can dream, right? Regardless if that momentous instance ever occurs, I will always keep your entries close to my chest and take a lesson from each one!

    Thanks for being you.

    Best,
    Aysha

  • http://twitter.com/macadangerous Ky-El

    I enjoyed this particular post, because the ability to grow and evolve transcends so many boundaries, and lets be honest, can benefit everyone, no matter who we are.

    I find it odd people have a hard time understanding the concept of learning from someone else. No one has all the answers themselves, and quite frankly, is pretty arrogant to think otherwise.

    Regardless, I think you hit it on the head when you mentioned ‘humility.’ Humility is a sorely needed, often elusive, quality, and is essential for personal growth. Interestingly enough, the Hebrew word for humility literally means “teachable.” Usually the ones who are obstinate and proud can’t be taught or reasoned with … thus humility.

    When we stop being humble we stop growing. Oh, snap, I think I just invented a proverb! :)

    By the way, you just so happened to post this on my birthday. Thanks for the surprise.

  • DavidHayes1956

    1=======

    What is amazing to me is how much more effective the unexpected mentor can be than the people you would expect to learn from. A lot of time, a person will read a list of charming, lovely statements on how people should treat each other and agree … and think about over time trying to become more like the model of behavior that they read about. But true, behavior altering changes are hard to make. People lapse into habit when situations happen that cause us to react on impulse. We end up being what we were before. It takes practice. But one kind of mentor has caused me to make immediate and lasting change to myself. I’ll digress long enough for a quote that I don’t know the source for: “No one is totally useless. They can always serve as a horrible example.” I have run into some people who, by their attitudes and beliefs and actions are particularly offensive for me. When I stop to think about why the person rubs me the wrong way, I make a horrifying discovery. Some of those traits I hate in the other person are traits that, to some degree, I share! Once I realize that and find that I can be compared to someone I don’t want to be anything like, it has an impact on me to the core. After that revelation, whenever I find myself doing something that the person I dislike would do, I recognize it and STOP. It’s almost like getting hit with an electric shock. It is VERY effective. So I may have learned who I want to be based upon those I admire, but the actual and effective catalyst for that change was getting to know someone I didn’t what to be like at all.

    2======

    I was shocked a few years ago when my bosses told me that they were shocked that I had e-mail correspondence with young people. They said that if anyone else had done it, they would have fired the person on the spot. I told them that I was always open to teach anyone that wanted to learn from me, especially someone entering my line of work or going to school in a field that I studied. I asked if they had never heard of mentoring. They replied that it was a parents’ function, not mine. My answer was that the parents of the people I gave advice to hadn’t gone to school or worked in the field that I had and had no experiential basis for sharing the experiences I was sharing. I was floored that they felt that mentoring was a deviant activity. I invited then to sit down that very moment and read any and every e-mail I had written to see that it was always totally appropriate. They wouldn’t. But I was just floored that two well-educated business owners thought that mentoring was a false cover for inappropriate behavior. It really bothered me and made me make whatever mentoring I do now a more public activity like this forum can provide.

    3=====

    So, Allison, I am sympathetic to mentoring, but the issue people are posting about doesn’t have to do with mentoring in general. The issue is one particular mentor you name and the fear of him due to the press he has received … and the concern for your welfare and the welfare of the people you influence. I don’t expect you to be the kind of person to turn your back on a friend and mentor because he has gotten bad press. I think the term for that would be “fair weather friend.” And to not show your regard for this person by not mentioning him by name would be behaving out of political correctness instead of out of being honest about what you feel. I can understand that. I can also understand if you don’t want to dignify an issue by taking it on in a blog or don’t want to discuss it because the subject is too personal to you. But, what I think the people that have an issue want from you is a statement from you about why you still have faith in a person despite what has been published about him. They want you to tell the other side of the story if there is another side. In a sense, you are endorsing a person with a bad reputation and that isn’t understood. It’s not about all your mentors, it’s about one. You’re in a tricky spot. Continue to support him and the negative feedback will come. Be silent and talk of other things and the bulk of the negative feedback will probably go away. Take on the issue head on, and you will probably polarize people. Some will fault you for making the stand you chose. Some will respect you more because avoiding the issue makes you appear deceptive. Some who never saw what the issue was about will be made aware … and what that leads to will depend on the individual. The choice is yours. So you are back to … What Now?

    • R Gray

      Like what you’re saying about the difficult teachers. There’s a quote somewhere I can’t find. Something about the people who upset us the most are our greatest teachers. Love that.

      • mimi

        My mother used to
        say something similar to me in our language. Something like: “Don’t listen to
        the ones that only make you laugh; listen to the one that also is willing to make
        you cry, that’s the one who can and will tell you the truth.”

  • lelanie01

    About two days ago I was reminded of the fact that there is a plan for me and whether I think I’m rebelling against it I am not. I just started work at against my own beliefs of what my future holds and things have been rough. Besides the fact that I have absolutely no goals in the architecture field anymore I am stuck in a few sticky situations. But two days ago I was prompted to go to a site visit with one of my colleagues, The visit itself was uneventful and didn’t do anything to convince me I am in the right direction. Whilst driving back, which is about a 40 min drive, The lady that I went with asked me about something personal out of the blue. I had mentioned about 2 months ago, when I just started work, that I had a best friend which went to church with me every week. As people that are nosy and want to get to know you do they assumed that we were meant to be and that he will declare his undying love for me in the near future, which I still believe won’t happen but that’s not the point of the story. Back to the car, about 10 minutes into the drive she asked out of the blue “So has he declared his love for you yet?” as if we we’re best gal pals and this was normal behaviour. I was a bit put aback but I reluctantly answered and corrected her in saying that I had thought about it but I really don’t think we are compatible in that way. She went on asking why and I gave my reasons, and the conversation went on for a while and without my own knowledge we we’re bonding, and not just about the stupid work babble, actual human interaction with emotions. I was more comfortable with this stranger than I had been with anyone in years. I told her about things I had told my best friend, the guy from church, and she understood and related to her and her husband’s situation at that stage in their lives. But for whatever reason it was, I shared something extremely personal, or should I say she guessed it. She guessed that when I was young I had a traumatic experience and that was what was keeping me from accepting this guy with all his faults. But not only did she now know my deepest darkest secret, she had gone through it herself. Now without blabbing on about how bad a childhood I had and everyone making assumptions about what happened, I’ll just say that as a very young girl I was taken advantage of. Now for someone that had sat with this for years only having told this guy, a few friends and now her, I was a bit freaked out. But the conversation that followed was incredible. She told me that she had also now in that moment only told 2 people, of which her husband was the first and me the second. The advice and “mentorship” she provided for me in those 30 minutes left had changed my world and had had much of a bigger impact on my life than I could have ever imagined.

    A very long story to come to my point. Mentorship is one of the most important things in my life now. I have seen that not only has she been a hero to me and guided me to where i want to be in 5 years time but I can be a mentor to someone. Taking these things that i have learnt from her and applying it to my own life will eventually help someone else. Here this woman was thinking there was no reason for what had happened to her, and now she had a reason. I’m not saying bad things happen for a reason, I’m saying that if something bad happens it is our choice to take that and make it into something good. She had struggled alone through her problems with only God on her side and now her struggle has benefited me in a larger way than she can’t even imagine. We shouldn’t be scared of mentorships and leadership and any kind of ship for that matter. These are the relationships that shape our lives. Thank you for sharing your wise words I really find inspiration in them

    • Beth

      Wow.
      I can relate to this in several ways.
      I can immediately remember a number of occasions when I started a very random conversation with random people who had been friends of my friends or friends of other members of my family. Each of these would start out of boredom and ended up lasting for 3 and 4 hours. I ended up telling two of these people things I had not even told my own family yet and they were both able to help because they had both been through similar situations.
      Two years ago an older man who was in a relationship with one of the women in my extended family did something horrible to me. I spent months asking myself why it had to happen. When I found the courage to tell people another woman came forward and said she fell victim to the same man. He was arrested. She didn’t have to courage to come forward until she knew he had hurt someone else. I was thoroughly terrified but if I hadn’t told anyone the law wouldn’t have been able to punish him.

      That entire chapter of my life made me so much stronger and more confident and if it weren’t for some of those random connections with my temporary teachers I wouldn’t be the woman I am now.

      We keep learning until the day we die. Having all types of teachers around us everyday allows us to continue to learn and grow and attempt to be the best version of who we are and inspire those around us to be the best version of themselves.

      We all learn from each other all the time.

      • lelanie01

        Hi Beth,
        it’s great to hear of people having these kind of experiences, i have been especially blessed that in many areas I have come across people that, even if only for a while, have made the biggest influences in my life. For some reason I have never really stuck around long enough in one place to have one mentor or one influence that has been constant in my life, I do feel like these people have been sent to me for a reason because I am such a “flighty” person. And as I type I realise, this is probably one of those instances. We have the ability to influence and be influenced.

        I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you but I am so proud that you had the courage to tell someone, but isn’t it amazing that of all the people you could have told you told the exact right person, I put my past away for over ten years without even trying to think of it, and then without even trying it came out in a burst of anger and emotion. And a couple of months later I told my story at a Testimony night at my university hostel. And then two girls came to me afterwards and said the same had happened to them. It was so liberating, to be able to know I had now taken this horrible thing and made it something good just by being brave enough to say what had happened.

        I feel the whole mentor ship thing is a two way street, if we have been influenced and mentored in a great way it is our duty and priviledge to do the same for someone else.

        I don’t know if you ever saw the film “pay it forward” with the kid from sixth sense. But that is a great example. one person does something good for three people and those three people each do the same for three people and do forward and at a certain point the effect would be so great that there would be a real impact on humanity. Probably not plausible in this day and age but a great principle to live by.

        I’m going on my second site visit with the woman I spoke about earlier and I’m excited to see what will be the topic today, at this stage it feels as though something amazing could happen at any time anywhere! Which is true but we have to keep our eyes open, and be willing to listen and speak!

        • Beth

          Yeah its pretty amazing how we develop connections with people in ways we never expected to, although I must admit that kinda thing happens often to me so it doesnt really surprise me that much now when it does happen.

          I have seen Pay It Forward. I thought it was amazing. Its unfortunate to think its based on more of a fantasy concept though.

          I actually wasn’t quite as courageous as I would have hoped to have been the day it happened. I have always been a very passive person and generally felt a bit intimated by a few people in my life which is probable part of the reason I found myself in such a situation. One of my best friends invited me out that night and I casually mentioned some of what happened knowing she would grab me by the hand and force me to break through my own resistance and tell my sister, who I was living alone with at the time because my parents had gone away which is probably why he chose that visit to do what he did.

          • Beth

            Watching smallville was actually something else that helped me get through that, and a few weeks later I wrote an assigment on womens rights and feminism in theatre and I became very passionate about those topics and was able to write with more confidence and I actually got 38/40 for it.

            So I guess that was part of the silver lining :)

  • Bourdieu_boy

    Our heroine is on her therapeutic journey in search of the transcendental and joyful moment. But the most meaningful journeys can be angry and hard, in a world of politics and injustice. Go to college. There’s a whole history of brilliant, perspicacious, demanding and serious thinkers who have answers and questions that will stretch you properly. Read Michel Foucault. Learn about power and its pervasiveness and what it means to think critically about the way power structures the world we inhabit and the lives we lead.

  • Maria

    I don’t understand why people would have a problem with that, because the fact is; that noone has all the answers. Noone knows everything, and everyone needs advice and inspiration. So if you can’t learn from a teacher or mentor, or whatever I shall call it, how can you learn?

  • Jennygirl

    I think this is a very important thought…and points to the importance of choosing one’s friends carefully. So many female friends of mine seem to be holding on to toxic friendships, simply because they have a long history together. I try to surround myself with people who make me a better person, or more like the person I aspire to be. I try to let the ones who become toxic fade into the sunset. I don’t think it’s lack of loyalty. It’s just that life is too short.

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

      > holding on to toxic friendships

      I have seen that happen once, but in my (admittedly limited) experience, an even worse problem is when the toxic person does their (possibly manipulative) best to hold onto you. How to find peace and balance in such a situation is hard.

      • Jennygirl

        YES IT IS!!! Having trouble with this myself right now. So I keep talking the talk until I get things put back into place!

        • Beth

          I have been going down that same road for a couple of years now. It can feel very unsettling when you have been friends since you were kids but it’s getting more and more obvious how much you’re growing apart even though you don’t want it to happen. Eventually you realise you’re happier and more comfortable with other people and you finally allow yourself to start letting go of what was once an inseparable friendship.

  • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

    “A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.”

    Bob Proctor; Author, Speaker and Success Coach.

  • Playhouse

    Well put.

    Simply, if you’re not learning and growing from those around you, you’re not doing life right. (Or paying enough attention.)

  • kathylynnbrown

    I come to your website at least once a week. I come here, because your words encourage me. You see the world around you the way I hope to see the world around me. I come here to read your followers and from them I see true passion. I am grateful that I get to partake in these discussions. I to have many mentors,I learn to be humble, thankful and grateful because of God. My mom and dad teach me how to see the world without blinders. I don’t see color, race, different believes, I see people. My husband teaches me that unconditional love. He loves me despite my faults, for we are both human. My sister teach me courage and my great-niece who is two, teaches me to laugh more, to enjoy the simple things. I learn on a daily basis and not just from my professors at school. They are so many people in my life that teach me to be better or to do better.

    When the movie, “You the film” came out, I bought it. From the story that Gildart and Melora told I learned to never take one second of my life for granted. That movie inspired me to continue my writing. To embrace my dreams and to never give up. I have learned so much in my thirty-five years, and I can only hope and pray to be blessed to learn even more. Thank you, Allison, for your post, for taking the time to let us get to know the real you.

    Kathy-Lynn Brown

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

      > To embrace my dreams and to never give up.

      That would make a great motto (like on a coat-of-arms): Embrace your dreams and never give up!

  • LanceN

    I have worked for two major aerospace companies. Both had voluntary mentor programs which were encouraged
    for engineering managers. The mentor gave the protogee tasks to accomplish.

    I have always loved the medieval craftsman concept of apprentice, journeyman, master. You can’t learn everything from books.

    I wouldn’t think of a mate(girlfriend in my case) as a mentor. It would imply to me a lead/subordinate relationship which I think is not a good thing in romance. I agree that much can be learned from them, or any close friendship, on the nature of close relationships if there is sufficient open communication. The biggest things I have learned in those is honesty, tolerance, and forgiveness when necessary. Without those I don’t think any close relationship will last.

    Lance

  • EdiciusEric

    Jennygirl and 3Tesla!!! *hugs*

    Its good to read your typing again. I’m so happy.

    *Back on topic* Mentors are essential and excellent, even the eager ones I got early on in life. I, excitedly, embraced all of my educators in an eloquent and efficient manner. Effortlessly they effectively encourged my eccentricities enabling my personalities to find an equilibrium among all the entropy. Even today, evidence of their exertive, yet enduring, escapades can be envisioned in the everyday events of EdiciusEric; exploring every essence of life until I am ebrious with knowledge. My elementary teachers were the evangelical beings examined in the earliest eras of our evolution. Eventually, they made me. Eerie, huh? Exactly.

    Eternally

    Edicius…

  • johnathan nakamura

    Why would people be resistant to the concept of mentors? I don’t have one, but I generally dislike humans. As I understand it, others aren’t quite so antisocial. And since I also don’t deal with wisdom or experience:

    I never teach my pupils. I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.

  • Becky_B

    First of all, I adore the new charming look of your website. Very lovely. Secondly, thank you so much for sharing once again some of your inner most thoughts with us. And while many other gifted artists have inspired you, there’s no doubt that you have inspired other artists as well. Your love of Shakespeare has even inspired me to read one of sonnets every day. I understand only a handful of words (ha-ha!) but I’m willing to try. After all, we only truly fail if we never try. I enjoy your posts and look forward to reading many, many more:)

  • CPisanoES

    You are such an inspirational woman Allison. I love everything you write and all the discoveries you make. You have become a mentor for me. I’ve learned more about loving humanity simply through the love that you express in your posts. You make everything have a purpose, and I think that is what living is about.
    I look forward to more of your lovely posts, and hopefully more of your lovely self in film ;)

  • BOUROUX

    Hi Allison.
    You give us a good opportunity to tell you our concerns for mentors and gurus.
    I find the use of mentors to become a better person a very good thing. We have all benefited at some point in our lives free advice to people who inspire us. Often our mentors are people around us, our family, friends, work colleagues. Be a mentor for others gives great satisfaction.
    It’s the relationship between the mentor and his disciple that there may be problems.
    The mentor is there to help the disciple to achieve, to learn, to discover things. The service he should be free, he should not try to manipulate the disciple to gain an advantage.
    Mentors who think they are psychologists, who have no qualifications, which do not respect the professional code, using various techniques of mind control, make me fear. They use the weaknesses and beliefs of people to indoctrinate them.
    I have a friend who wanted to take meditation classes to help due to illness. She was very disappointed because the teacher thought he was a guru with a commitment to take several courses and full of rules to be followed with a coach.
    I find it difficult to take lightly the gurus. We lived in the Montreal area several dramas linked to gurus who have manipulated, tortured, robbed, raped and even killed.
    your mentors are good and diversified, but I have a problem with those who use compassion to recruit and make a community.
    The concept is attractive, the mentor is an expert in the art to make the project extraordinary and yet all the people who do not follow the course of the mentor have a very unfavorable opinion.
    Your two mentors and their organizations have very bad press. Your fans do not understand why you continue to honor and follow these people.
    You were always the first to denounce those who abuse others, which are not transparent, although you should explain why the perception are so bad.
    The fact that you are thought to stop your acting career to work with your mentor has amplified the fear he had influenced you.
    Each time your name is associated with the mentor, the comments are negative and that tarnished your image.
    Life is short; you have a great career ahead of you in a job you’ve always loved.
    I am glad that you spend some quality time with your friends in California.

    Take care of you.

  • Raul Medina

    Allison, you’re so amazing everyone has mentors, wether they like it or notams they don’t limit us they teach us and allow us to grown thanks to their teachings and lessons. I myself over the short years of my life has had several mentor, and these are people I admire and respect no matter what sort of bad reputation they get, and I admire you for sticking by your mentor despite the fact that everyone else talked bad about your mentor, and it’s wonderful that you are dedicated, and stick by his side even though you might get bad rep for that too. To everyone else, are you going to tell me that you’ve never admired someone who might at one time had been involved in questionable manners? Let it go people, that is her mentor, and you have no right to judge her or anyone else for that matter.
    Well have a great day Allison(: have fun, enjoy life, and don’t let people and their misinformed judgmental selfs bring you down(:

  • Robin

    Great post, I guess mentors are always around depending if we are open enough to learning the lessons shown to us in any scenario… Look, listen, reflect and act.

    Regarding ideas for this site mentioned on an earlier post- how about mixing quotes (an old favourite)/ edgy current affairs(Fracking) / philosophical thoughts (reverence for life)/ news stories around the World/ upcoming art projects events in each of our own areas…

  • Milo de Villiers

    Mentorship is the original teaching, from animal parents showing their offspring where to find a salt lick, to master violin makers teaching an apprentice the finer points of choosing a piece of wood. In my opinion it is the most effective and important form of teaching. While there are things you can learn from books, school and yes, even the internet, only mentorship is fully interactive and usually hands on.

    Everybody has mentors; parents, grandparents, your older brother, a cousin, the person who gave you your first job, the guy down the street that shows you how to fix your lawn mower, we just don’t use the word mentor very often.

    I have a job, working at a prestigious art school part time. I am not a teacher there, merely a technician, yet I mentor students every day, showing them how to set up their newly acquired steadicam rig, helping them problem solve homemade slide-film projector ideas or showing them how to use a camera for time lapse photography.

    But I am also an apprentice, I work on the side for my father, a well regarded luthier (builder and repairer of stringed instruments) where I am learning a craft that cannot be taught any other way. You can’t learn lutherie from books, you can’t learn lutherie in a classroom, hands on teaching is the only effective way.

    At the age of 15 my grandfather apprenticed as a cabinet maker in post-war Germany. At the age of 23 he moved to Canada, bringing the knowledge and skills gifted to him by a master craftsman in his former country. Over the next fifty-five years he shared that skill and knowledge, with multiple generations of Canadians in multiple fields. He was head of Global Television’s woodworking shop for more than twenty years, he designed sets for major awards shows, all possible because the son of a doctor decided to apprentice with a craftsman instead of following in his father’s footsteps. My father used to say that my grandfather (his father in law) had forgotten more about woodworking than my dad knows. This from a man who can build a guitar, mandolin, or double bass from scratch. My father worked with my grandfather in film and television for 8 years and credits his father in law with teaching him many invaluable skills, and not just woodworking skills.

    And that is the difference between a teacher student relationship and a mentor relationship, mentors usually impart a mixture of life skills and practical skills in non-linear, organic fashion. You learn what you need to know, when you need to know it, not in any kind of linear organized way, and this is what makes a mentor invaluable, no matter what the subject. The knowledge of those who have gone before you is the most valuable things you can have. Everybody is a mentor, and everybody has mentors, which makes everybody important to somebody.

  • xeavor

    Last night, I had a dream, a very powerful, very real dream about you Allison Mack. The dream reminded me of whom I once was and rekindled a flame of truth within me, and I thank you for that. Perhaps in a future posting I will tell you about the dream.

    We all have purpose in this life, some to guide, some to follow, and some to do both. Sometimes we are directed to take certain paths while on this plan of existence, and sometimes that direction comes from people, and sometimes that direction comes from less obvious places such as dreams, visions, or just a feeling.

    Mentors are great, but obviously you have to be careful to limit their influence over you. Make sure they aren’t overpowering your own inner mentor.

    You are a very old soul who has mountains of wisdom and experience to draw from, if you just allow yourself to listen clearly.

    In multiple past lives we have crossed paths, and though in this life our connection is faint, be aware that you stand on the peak of your spiritual evolution. I’m proud of the person you are and have become. You have touched so many people’s lives through your skills and abilities, and just being you.

    Continue to follow the light, and you will never walk in darkness. Contact me if you ever need to talk.

    Jonathan

  • Zsolti

    Szia Allison!
    First of all your new header is very pretty, especially the lovely photo! It reminds me my last live theater experience. It was an awesome interactive performance, but not only in my humble opinion. The actors surprised us when they choosed one from us and called to the stage. Then it started the comic situation play with the selected one. If you ask me, it was a very funny experience, but no wonder in that atmosphere. Imagine, if you could answer only one word all of questions! So, the keyword is the improvisational theater. Not standard, but variable, unpredictable. Woohoo! What an inspiration bomb! A really unbelievable experience from that mentors who taught us that our main goal is discover ourselves.
    xoxo

  • Alba

    Live in humility is important, but be realize about our skills, strength of spirit and virtues is important too. It is true that we can learn and take good things from every person who surrounding us, but I think that it is important to realize that we can develop by yourself and even you cant teach and help others in their development.

    When I read you I feel that you are (or you try to be) very humility, and it can be dangerous: you can forget that – like all people – you have some characteristics and qualities that make you a mentor for people.

    Anyway, for personal development it is better to be humble that to be self-centered and stubborn.
    :)

  • Jose

    It’s cool to have people around you to help with life lessons. Call them teachers, guides, tutors, and/or mentors. What’s important is how much one can learn along the way…(your life)! A good way to grasp how to handle adversity is to always look for a positive in a negative. Like in the song Moonshadow by Cat Stevens. (live)

    Hopefully link above works.

  • EdiciusEric

    Alright! My computer just finished running a ‘speech recognition software’ on the last few post of Allison Mack; and, sorry to say, something is a little troubling. I’ve cross-referenced the few known key word combinations that she tends to use sporadically in her posts, treads, interviews, and blogs with some other artist’s, poet’s, and writer’s algorithms given to me from the same ‘speech recognition software’. After analyzing the data, calculating the information, and adjusting for natrual human and computer error I have reached a shocking discovery in her last post titled “Mentors”. I shall now post her quote below.

    “My boyfriend is my mentor in unconditional love and finding balance through depthy play.” -Allison Mack

    By reading the quote above you are able to deduce at least one thing: She has a boyfriend.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! When did this happen? How come I wasn’t given an application for that position? Allison really knows how to slide a knife in sideways. I would make a good boyfriend. Except for the fact that I live about 600 miles away… And I really wasn’t that big of a fan of Smallville, and I have to agree that Chloe had more powers than Clark, and I only liked Allison for her body… and sense of humor… and her mind… plus she is so beautiful… also, I think, I may be to old for her… How old is too old?

    Either way, I’m getting off topic again… Next time that job is empty I want the next shot at it. (You know… as long as the pay is good. I’m not worried about the healthcare, because I know the perks of the job will outwieght them. :P )

    -Crazy 5$
    -O.K. I take a cup of it.
    -Edicius

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

      > I really wasn’t that big of a fan of Smallville

      Blasphemy, surely? ;-)

      • EdiciusEric

        Blasphemy would be a slight against Allison, not against the show that casted her out on season 10. I still haven’t seen a single episode of Smallville seasons 9 or 10… I have them at the house but can bring myself to watch.

        • Jennygirl

          Yes…blasphemy! You Europeans!!!

          • EdiciusEric

            LOL I’m from Texas… Shucks, three days back and I’m already getting yelled at by Jenny. :P

            *Edit* Remember? Lousianna? You opened my door? Racheal? Ring a bell? She dumped me by the way.

          • jennygirl

            I am sorry to hear that, but yelling at Tesla! He from the UK I thought.

          • EdiciusEric

            Yea, she left because she said I dont listen or dont care about something or other… she was rambling on and I really wasnt paying attention. I was too busy making my Alllison Mack tribute video.

          • jennygirl

            I do ramble…was I rambling, or do you mean Allison now?

          • Jennygirl

            Your girlfriend!!! I’m so sorry. But perhaps for the best, as you are suggesting….as she was a rambler?

          • EdiciusEric

            I just barely saw this, yea, my GF was yacking in my ear about leaving me bc I wouldn’t hear her or listen to something… I dont know I wasnt paying attention to her. I meant that as a joke, we broke up because he was full on crazy. I think…

  • Icthacker

    Hey buddy, I had no idea you got negative feedback about something so common and obvious of what everyone, whether they admit it or not, has and needs. I’m with you. Mentors are necessary in our lives, some are for a season, and some are for a reason.

    Aside from my mom, I had a type of second “mom”, whom I’ll never forget. She was my advance design teacher in high school; without her, I woulda been dead. I really think that, but aside from that, she taught me about grace, objectiveness, and to be a student of life, including from kids!

    I will never forget her.

    Since then, God has brought other people in my life for certain seasons, and some for certain reasons, to bring me from one season to another, for the sake of growth. It’s aways nerve wracking when he does that, but the lessons have always been the most significant.

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

      > God has brought other people in my life for certain seasons,
      > and some for certain reasons

      How pleasingly poetic!

      • Icthacker

        Thanks 3tesla. =) It’s actually my son’s statement to me about his thoughts on the subject a while back.

  • MarkAmos65DES

    Hello Allison :)
    It is with much happiness that I am able to leave a comment on your Blog finally through the use of an IPod and a Wifi connection. With that all being said, your comments about Mentors in your life is very inspiring. For we all should realize as you said, our Mentors are all around us. We are all the by-products of the knowledge, wisdom, understanding, goodness, kindness, and inspiration of those around us. We learn so much through others. For any to deny this or claim to be self sufficient, they rob themselves of one of the greatest blessings in life. To accept from others opens ourselves to continue to learn so much more in life. Thank you for your role as a Mentor to many as well. It is a blessing even though you were so well known by the name of Chloe Sullivan for 10 years of your life, to know you as you, Allison, is truly an inspiration to many. You choose to take time out of your busy life, to share your life and who you are with others. In 2 simple words: Thank you.

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

      > It is a blessing even though you were so well known by the name of Chloe Sullivan for
      > 10 years of your life, to know you as you, Allison

      Very well put, Sir!

      > our Mentors are all around us

      Happy and safe indeed is the person who is trapped in a web of loving, nurturing and supportive relationships!

  • Megan

    a person you are so amazing. You help me a lot thank you.

  • R_mantha2

    As a childcare provider i’ve taught dozens of children the odvious ABC’s and counting. It still amazes me though how while not taught one of the first questions they learn alone is ” What’s that? ” or to ask “why?” Like little sponges they absorb everything we say and even the mannerisms they observe. Too young yet to understand embarrassment or criticism. They so inocently ask the questions or express themselves in ways as adults we tend not to. Still our inner child i believe is still there with that sponge absorbing everything around us.

    Forgive the term “Elder” for i don’t use it to describe the old and infirmed (smiles). I use elder in exchange for the title guru or mentor. Someone who through their own experience and journey’s influence and teach me. In history an elder was someone you could turn to for advice and knowedge. There was no shame or criticism in asking or learning from and elder for the possition was honorable. Are we ment to stumble down our own life’s path unguided….jeez i hope not. lol All relationships influence us as adults, it’s our inner sponge just as all experience teach us. So thank you Allison for honoring those peolple who have guided and holded a piece of the women you are.

    I’ll be honest and say that until recently i held no interest in Blogs and had visited Allison’s to see what projects she would be taking on next. For whatever reason i desided to read her latest blog and learned that behind the charector and pictures she was just a women like me. Sure we have a different path in life but in her own writing she inspired me to post a comment and share a little of myself to strangers. That maybe something i’d learned could help someone else. Since i’ve added it to my list of “daily to do’s ” to be more open to the world around me and to listen to the advice i am being given. So Allison while you might of had no intention to do so, you have made a small impact on my life and changed the way i looked at blogs in general. thank you for that.

  • Me

    Are you stupid? No one cares that you have a mentor. they care that your mentor is a fucking lowlife piece of shit pedophile who ruins peoples lives you idiot. Fucking retard.

  • Nico

    Hi allison,

    I am a French fan and I want to say to you that you is brilliant… and Really beautiful

  • TimK17

    It’s strange how honest you are in your blog. We all have our mentors and i agree with you that they contribute something special that makes us who we are. I’ve always wondered though do they know how much they have helped us to be better people. So i appreciate that unlike some, you admit how much they’ve inspired you cause that’s something we shouldn’t take for granted

  • http://squammie.wordpress.com/ The Wandering Mind

    You will find inspiration and guidance where ever you look Allison. You are a mentor to somebody whether or not you know it. It seems that sometimes the greatest lessons are the ones we never intended to learn or teach, for they impact us in ways we never expect.

    Stay cool, love.

  • Luilui09

    Day by day, everytime that I read some of your thoughts I feel so great, so connected despite the time and space with that person who wrote this text. Thanx for sharing them to us, it’s make me a better woman too. besos

  • Adam Henry Sears

    Well it seems to me that these people you spoke to about your mentor just didn’t believe that one’s pride should take a back seat to honoring others. Maybe they were shocked that you still give honor to this mentor, or still look up to many others around you. I have seen firsthand the kind of improper pride that leads to such disapproval. To people like this, that someone with your kind of social standing would honour your mentors so openly, appreciating their advice so freely, it just borders on the weird and incomprehensible. You didn’t meet their expectations. Your appreciative attitude shows to them that you are happy to admit that you didn’t get to where you are without the help and advice of your mentors. They probably expected to hear that you did it all on your own, or something to that effect. Or perhaps they thought you were not as independent-minded as they’d hoped and inter-dependence baffles them.

    Honoring your mentors for what they have taught you does not diminish your worth, it affirms it; It affirms what you have been taught, thus recognizing its worth. By doing this you place value on what you have learned and not on the fact that you learned it. It validates what you consider to be worthy of your attention. A mentor watching this interaction would be more than pleased, because it confirms that your pride is in the right place. “And in recognizing these teachers I am more defined in myself.”

    Actions are supposed to have consequences, and the typical modern parent’s refusal to show their children that their actions have consequences creates a ripple effect throughout the rest of their lives, removing many opportunities for any amount of wisdom to grow. Thus many go through life learning through experience only, intentionally limiting their capacity to learn from others. It is becoming rarer to find the kind of open-mindedness that you own, Allison. For a soul to learn from the mistakes or lessons of others—this used to be a common gift. The fact that you have it—for this, we your fans, should also be grateful to your parents, teachers, and mentors.

    But when you water pride, it often grows in conjunction with haughtiness, ornamentation, and disdain. And these things are so much easier to cultivate than open-mindedness, gratitude, and the willingness to learn. We should all learn to plant and nurture such good traits in our gardens, shouldn’t we?

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

      > To people like this, that someone with your kind of social standing would honour your mentors
      > so openly, appreciating their advice so freely, it just borders on the weird and incomprehensible

      As I understand it, from what I’ve read of the deleted posts, the strong (and hateful) negativity has been directed towards one, and only one, of Allison’s chosen mentors (who I will not name); not the idea of having mentors in general.

      • Adam Henry Sears

        Thanks Tess. I did not realize that.

        In that case, hmm, I guess the above statement still applies with a slight modification: “To such biased people….” lol

        I guess some people cannot get beyond their own pre-judgements to see the value of the truth underneath it all. Such people will always find it hard to understand such loyalty.

        Since you say these old posts have been deleted, I guess it’s pointless for me to go looking.

  • Mr_mhmmed

    Dear Allison,
    I can’t thank you enough for giving me hope and happiness when smile was the only thing i wish for.
    Allison The Great your way of thinking is unique and amazing to listen and observe to learn is very important thing in our life don’t stop learning or looking for mentors like me i looked up for you to be my mentor and you didn’t let me down from you i learn to be kind and laugh through your great mind and personality everyday i try to be the best for others and myself as i said before you are the most amazing daughter of Eve.
    I can keep writing many thing that i learn from you but it will take the all pages and link of the world you are great keep being that way for yourself and the people who are lucky to be around you and for us who really love you.
    THANK YOU FOR BEING MY MENTOR…
    WITH DEEP LOVE & BEST WISHES TO BE SAFE.
    MOHAMMED ALI THE EGYPTIAN FAN.

  • Ruffa1967

    I have never posted, intill a few days ago I would never think of it, I have never known anyone that does not have a mentor and I am from the states. Now I know you are very smart, you can tell by the way you write, I on the other hand, well I am not the sharpest tack out there. I have no idea why no one will say the name of the person they don’t like. I wanted to know who he was so I googled him. Wow talk about a jerk is there anything good about him other than he is very smart. You know who we are talking about Keith Raniere. Now I am sure that you know him better than I do, but you do not get all of this negitive press while being a saint. If only 10percent of it is true, its still scary as heck.
    I guess we can all be misled sometimes, I made some preconceptions about you and when I read things about you, you turn out to be totally different. You have thousands of fans out there who are scared for you there everywhere here on the other websites all over. I am so bad at conveying any thoughts, I guess to say this is closing, if you are taking advice and mentoring from this man and are telling people about it and, people consider you a mentor are you not spreading his word as well.
    I guess I am sorry you lost a fan, yeah I know I a dime a dozen I am cool with that. But for me I only feel sorrow and loss.
    This is my last post.
    Shakespeare said it best ‘The rest is silence”

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 1967djm

      Kudos to Allison and Tabby for not deleting this (the above) direct, yet respectful, post.

  • http://twitter.com/anas_shafiq Anas Shafiq

    That is really Beautiful and Great. There is a saying in my language, that your parents are the ones who bring you from the skies to earth and your mentors and teachers are the ones who take you from this earth to the skies. Meaning parents bring you into this world and mentors take you to the highest level of respect and something like that and they shape you and your lives.

    • http://www.manton.karoo.net/index2.html 3tesla

      Oh wow – that really is a lovelly and beautiful saying! Which language/culture does it come from, if you don’t mind my asking?

      • EdiciusEric

        I think thats a passage from the koran. Loosly translated. It can mean teachers or maybe town elders.

      • EdiciusEric

        I think thats a passage from the koran. Loosly translated. It can mean teachers or maybe town elders.

  • Miss L.

    Hi Allison. I am currently watching Smallville on DVD, having somehow missed it the first time around. I love the character of Chloe and everything she stands for: her truth, compassion and pluck are hugely inspirational. But what is even more inspirational is that you, the real woman who played her, are compassionate, honest and interesting too – even more so, because you are not fictional and your words are scripted by no-one but yourself.
    I hope you will take this next as a compliment because it is truly meant as such. I read one of your previous journals that alluded to struggling with your curves and feelings of inadequacy related to your body. I have struggled – I continue to struggle – with this too, and have recently decided to change my diet and lifestyle – not to get skinny or muscular, but to become and remain healthy, and feel good. I was looking for some good “body” inspirations, that is, women that look amazing and healthy but are not handspan-thin, which would be a completely unattainable and unhealthy goal for my short, curvy, compact body. You were the first person that came to mind, because you are gorgeous and fit and slim but you are a real person, who clearly has a life that demands more of her than spending 3 hours at a gym daily. I have rewritten and rewritten this last part several times but I can’t seem to make it sound less….ugh, I don’t know. I just hope you understand what I’m getting at! I just really want to say how much I admire you for being so authentic and just so damn cool. Thank you!

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