I must say that I am totally blown away by the depth of the people that have been participating in these last few blogs. Your insightful and thought provoking responses have been absolutely astounding and I am honored to think that I had anything at all to do with bringing this community of people together.

A few weeks ago I spent some time with my 16 year old sister and I kept asking her what she wanted to do with her life. The question was “If you could do anything in the word that you wanted to do in 5 years, what would it be? And why?” After she got a little sick of being asked the same question over and over again she finally turned the tables and asked me, “What is your answer to that question?”

I thought about it for quite some time and I have continued to think about it over these last few weeks and ultimately, the answer I have come up with thus far is as follows: I want to make art and build communities of people who are interested in expressing genuine thoughts about their own experience of existence that seek to build humanity and help us to evolve.

After reading the more recent posts in my trailer I had this total “holy shit” moment. There I was on the set of a television show that I was acting in, reading responses about some of the most profound and personal things regarding human existence and purpose, and I was like, “how the hell did I get this lucky?”

Honor and Amazement is what I feel right now! So, thank you to my newly developed Dead Poets Society. Let’s keep going with this.

Oh and by the way, Rumi is one of my absolute favorite poets. He once said “Let the Beauty you love be what you do. There are thousands of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” This rings so true to me, especially right now. Thank you again.

And continuing down the philosophical path… What is judgment? Is it always a bad thing? I have been recognizing all my judgments and prejudices and even had an intense conversation recently with someone where we began to discuss the concept of intolerance due to intolerance. So, “you are violent, therefore, I must destroy you.” Doesn’t make much sense when you juxtapose them in that way, and yet, that is what I catch myself doing constantly. It totally gives new meaning to Gandhi’s most famous quote “You must be the change.” How can I expect to see a world with no prejudice when I refuse to take ownership of my prejudice against the people i deem as “myopic”. Isn’t that, in-turn, just being the same thing, under a different title?

Interesting places for growing. God, this rabbit hole goes deep!


Add yours Comments – 67

  • paul

    on July 27, 2008 at 7:55 am

    Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and read these responses. This is something virtually unique that you have started here! It is a great and rare opportunity to read the insights of a talented young person so involved in the arts, plus people’s thoughtful and mind-opening responses.

    As for judgment, It seems to me that the word can be taken to mean two different, nearly contradictory things. It can mean weighing facts to come to a carefully considered conclusion, or it be synonymous with prejudice. If we are to be committed to a course of action, we have to form judgments. There is peril in this: there’s a fine and ever-shifting line between forming judgments and being judgmental. And it seems to me that the more completely we are committed to a cause or a course of action, the greater risk we run of blinding ourselves to alternative points of view.

    Gandhi was totally committed to independence for his country via non-violent means. Fortunately for him and for India, events proved him right. Other, undoubtedly equally well-intentioned people at the time disagreed with either his methods, or his goal. Nobody had a crystal ball to let them know how history would resolve the question. Making a judgment, and sticking with it, is always a bit of a gamble. The alternative, withholding judgment and remaining noncommittal, can of course be equally disastrous.

    Taking a stand, or remaining forever open-minded… it seems a question of balance.

  • David Hayes

    on July 27, 2008 at 9:33 am

    I’ll do one more bit on this blog. Maybe I’ve discussed this before. Maybe not. (See, I’m not paying much attention.)

    Judgment … based on perception. When we think perception, we think of sight … although that is unfair to our sightless friends and other species that rely more heavily on other senses and do just fine. But as to sight, what a poor tool our eyes are … except for the fact that they compensate for their inadequacies and do a much finer job then they should be able to do – at least at first glance (pun intended). At any instant, the eye doesn’t gather enough information to make a useful image, but the eye moves continuously to gather image fragments that the brain assembles to result in what we perceive. So, moving around improves our perception and thus our judgment. Now consider that we have two eyes. Is the second one simply a spare? Not quite. The eyes are spaced apart (not very far, but enough) so that we get two points of view when we look at anything. Again, the brain pulls this information together into an image. But the beauty of it is that the different points of view give us depth perception. So to have perception in any kind of depth, we need different points of view – whether it’s by keeping both eyes open, moving around, using technology or trusting what someone else perceives with his or her eyes. So, a court of law will best serve justice if there are multiple witnesses to the event from all angles and perspectives (including the “witness” provided by physical evidence) and is judged by people with varying points of view derived from diverse life experiences – at least in theory.

  • David Hayes

    on July 27, 2008 at 9:47 am

    Oops. Forgot to share this with you.

    Consider the moon. Billions of humans have looked upon its face in the millennia that man has existed. So with all those witnesses and independent perceptions of the moon, you would think we knew it quite well. Yet the moon only ever shows the Earth one face. So we were forever denied knowing more than half there was to know about what the moon looked like on the surface … until we sent out probes to expand our perception … and dim our imaginations. What shining cities might have existed on the other side of the moon … in our minds’ eyes!

  • Wally West

    on July 27, 2008 at 10:59 am

    “How can I expect to see a world with no prejudice when I refuse to take ownership of my prejudice against the people i deem as “myopic”. Isn’t that, in-turn, just being the same thing, under a different title?”

    That’s a very good question and something I do ask myself constantly. Are you asking if you are prejudice as well for having stereotypes or being prejudiced against certain “myopic” people for example, hate groups? By definition, it would probably be the same thing but under a different title. Although it is very hard to take ownership of that type of prejudice I agree. Gandhi’s quote comes in here “you must be the change” but I do think it is very hard to do. Maybe that’s the first thing to do to change, excepting the ownership of your prejudices? Then from there, we can change things.

  • Optimal Optimus

    on July 27, 2008 at 11:31 am

    Judgements aren’t intrinsically good or bad.

    Its what those decisions based on your judgment entail. Do they tear down, belittle, or hurt? Or alternatively do they empower, help, and take a stand to move forward toward a world where tolerance and co-existence are held up as the norm?

    Looking for a world without prejudice isn’t realistic. Looking to build a world where prejudice doesn’t override rational thought and what one could hope for basic human decency is a much more attainable goal.

    A friend of mine once told me the only person that gets to judge me is God. I found that funny because based off of that comment I had already made several judgments on how I would interact with her moving forward. Bottom line is we are judging and being judged ad infinitum.

    Judgment and rational thought are part of the human experience to deny them would prove to be contrary to the sum experience of the homo sapien evolutionary process. Unless your a creationist and then well… I got nothing.

    So is Judgment Bad? No. Is it good? No. (Look at all the judgments going on) Is it an integral part of the human experience? Yes. Should we temper out judgments with the classical virtues: peace, good will, etc? Yes.

    Trying to be non judgmental… Sorta.

  • Kathy

    on July 27, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    I think it is human nature to see other people’s intolerance but not to recognize when we ourselves our intolerant.

    It is too your credit that you are working so hard to be self-aware enough to question your own viewpoints and how that may or may not affect others.

  • Scott123

    on July 27, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    Whew! I spent an hour reading these responses! Ya know, swimming in the deep end this long is making my arms tired!
    When I face the challenges presented here, I remember two things I will now share with you.

    1. Remember the Joy of Discovery. (Dave!) 😉

    2. On the 25th anniversary of Star Trek, Gene Roddenberry said this.
    “Aliens did not build the pyramids. Humans built them, because we are smart and we are clever. The differences in our races and our religions should not be a source of hatred and discontent, but a source of wonder and delight.”

    I have found both of these statements to be truthful and useful.

    your friend in existential, moral, and aqua-philosophy,

  • Bouroux

    on July 27, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    Hi Allison

    The question that you ask to your sister 16 years, I often ask to my daughter 16 years and all that I get, these are the things that she would not want to do. She is a bit like you a few months ago, stop to think about what she wants to do is a torture.
    If I reverses the question is quite amazing what I discovered. My job auditor that I am over 20 years allows me to discover many new things and I earn well my life and I should still another 15 years.
    Now that I do not have a great project, I look at those other while continuing to live my life.

    I realize that watching live the other in some TV show and film , the characters of a TV series, certain players is a good way to discover new life experiences.
    I surprised myself concern for people I do not really know or who does not even exist. These few real or fictitious persons have been able to create an interest in me. I am surprised to provide advice and suggestions to people that I do not know. Finally , I am a fan.
    I must admit that this is something that is part of my life. I often ask myself the question, is what I flee my reality? The answer is no. Maybe I lack of exciting things in my life and that being a fan fills this void.
    I think a fan is someone passionate. I’m actually someone who has passions. I think these passions allow me to maintain my balance.
    I have great pleasure to take care of the french site and share with as many people as possible your achievements. With the contribution of another fan, all your blog are translate in french.

    In 5 years, I hope to be loyal fan of Allison Mack a great actress who has made few films and other projects to enable her to have a greater recognition of the public. With this recognition more people participate in your futur live project.
    More the people see you, more the people love you and more they love you more your plans are likely to materialize.
    It’s the wish of your fans.

    I think that living is both a science and an art.
    With your job as an actress you would you put it in the skin of full of character. It’s a great opportunity to have new life experience.
    These new life experience change your judgement. To fight against our prejudices, can put yourself in the skin of another is something extraordinary. I hope that you share with us all these new experiences in the futur.
    There are million of pages of discussion related to your character Chloe on the web. It’s amazing. You are responsible for a portion of this success
    Our first reaction to people who are different from us is mistrust.
    We are often judgements before knowing people. By participating in this blog, we may be judged by others but I think that sharing ideas and experiences of life is more important. We will never agree with everyone, but if we respect all our differences our lives will be easier.

    In Quebec we had a great debate on reasonable accomodements which was a source of manifestations of intolerance. The reason of the debate was always religious. The majority is christian but the society is secular.

    People no longer accept that religious communities are telling them what to do in their personal lives.
    These communities are calling into question the broad principles for which generations have fought as equality of men and women.
    We can not accept that certain extremist individuals are questioning our values.

    I give you some examples of reasonable accomodements :

    1. Prenatal classes at the CLSC de Parc-Extension
    Widespread perception: Men who accompanied their spouses to prenatal
    classes offered by the CLSC de Parc-Extension were excluded from the courses at the request of Muslim women who were upset by their presence.

    2. The “directive” from the Société de l’assurance automobile du Québec
    Widespread perception: The management of the Société de l’assurance
    automobile du Québec (SAAQ) has ordered its female driving examiners to
    relinquish their place to a male colleague when Orthodox Jews take their
    driving test.

    3. The Mont-Saint-Grégoire sugarhouse
    Widespread perception: Muslims arrived one morning at the sugarhouse and demanded that the menu be altered to conform to their religious standard. All of the other customers were therefore obliged to consume pea soup without ham and pork-free pork and beans. In the afternoon, the same Muslims entered the crowded dance hall and interrupted the festivities to recite their prayers. The customers in the dance hall were in a manner of speaking expelled from the sugarhouse.

    Thanks Allison.


  • Vegas911

    on July 27, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    In this day in age I am GLAD that certain people have forgotten the golden rule … because a lot of people today want things done to them that I would NEVER want them to do to me! The golden rule only works if most of society share the same basic concept of what we want others to do unto us! ~David Hayes.

    Well David I am very sorry for you that you feel that way!! The golden rule is flawless in its design…..do unto others as you would have others do unto you…listen to what it is saying. Would you want someone to burn down your home and leave you with nothing…then dont do it to someone else….would you want someone to break into your home and steal you child from their bed? No, then don’t do that to someone else and their child…. People as a speicies and a society do not want to be treated poorly, or be beaten, or raped or robbed, for chirst sakes we complain if we feel customer service is not treating us the way that we think we should be treated (which is like freaking movie stars), Why you ask? Because we have spent our money with ther establishment and we feel that we deserve to be treated in a certain manner in our own minds.. So to say that most people would wish bad things upon themselves is rediculous. Just my opinion and they are like assholes…right?

    Some people wish for things that maybe others would not deem appropriate, I get what you saying, but even those fools don’t want harm to come to them.

  • Vegas911

    on July 27, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    And just a side note David, even if others do wish harm on you I hope that you are the type of person that would still treat people the way that you would want them to treat you, thats what it all boils down to afterall.

  • David Hayes

    on July 27, 2008 at 5:28 pm


    I hope you didn’t take me wrong. The golden rule is a high ideal that I very much believe in. But if you think about the world we live in today, there ARE people that go out looking for people to torture and abuse them (look up “Masochist”). If someone with that kind of distorted mindset decides that he/she wants to give other people what they personally want (to be tortured and abused), I hope they don’t come knocking at my door.

    In thinking about it again, the golden rule should be the maybe the least decent level of behavior. I know I am not very kind to myself a lot of the time. I deny myself and push myself hard to meet the needs, desires and expectations of others. The level of help I am willing to accept from others is less than I am willing to give. I guess that being helped too much might make me feel inadequate … which is a personal problem. But I guess I should also look at whether helping others too much might make them feel inadequate.

    And yes, I do try to return kindness for injury. But my neck is more than sore from a lifetime of turning the other cheek. That’s where faith comes in and people are able to let go of the resentment. I’m the first to admit that I am far from being able to forget things easily. That’s where I miss the mark … fall short … sin. A few years ago someone did something that crushed the spirit out of me. I was more isolated and alone after that then I had ever been in my life. A couple years passed and that same person e-mailed me and asked me to do a portrait for her. I couldn’t believe that she could ask … and I knew what would happen. I had every excuse not to, but I got her what she had asked for anyway. Where I missed the mark, was that I didn’t feel good or unburdened or even vindicated or like a nice person — I felt like a stupid chump following programming I couldn’t break free of. And I hated myself for it. I am certainly not the person I want to be.

    I apologize if you thought I was attacking your point of view … because it had always been my own … until I took another look at the world around me. And it still is what I believe … with the exception of people who don’t have an understanding of what other people might like done unto them.

  • David Hayes

    on July 28, 2008 at 5:29 am

    Twenty-Five years have passed since this song came out, but it marked the trend towards accepting other people’s desire to be abused as a personal and acceptable choice — “whatever floats your boat.”

    ”Sweet Dreams”
    by the Eurythmics

    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Who am I to disagree?
    Travel the world and the seven seas
    Everybody’s looking for something
    Some of them want to use you
    Some of them want to get used by you
    Some of them want to abuse you
    Some of them want to be abused

    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Who am I to disagree?
    Travel the world and the seven seas
    Everybody’s looking for something
    Some of them want to use you
    Some of them want to get used by you
    Some of them want to abuse you
    Some of them want to be abused

    I wanna use you and abuse you
    I wanna know what’s inside you
    (Whispering) Hold your head up, movin’ on
    Keep your head up, movin’ on
    Hold your head up, movin’ on
    Keep your head up, movin’ on
    Hold your head up, movin’ on
    Keep your head up, movin’ on
    Movin’ on!

    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Who am I to disagree?
    Travel the world and the seven seas
    Everybody’s looking for something
    Some of them want to use you
    Some of them want to get used by you
    Some of them want to abuse you
    Some of them want to be abused

    I’m gonna use you and abuse you
    I’m gonna know what’s inside
    Gonna use you and abuse you
    I’m gonna know what’s inside you

  • David Hayes

    on July 28, 2008 at 5:32 am


    I remember a 4 year old daughter of a friend of mine at the time. That was her favorite song. She wanted to hear it over and over again because she loved the sound of it.

  • Joey

    on July 28, 2008 at 8:44 am

    I can’t find the message i posted again, here’s what it was.

    Good morning Miss Mack,

    Thank you so much for your lovely sign of affection. That’s very kind of you. Then we can find a new very interesting philosophical topic. That’s great, just let’s going on. Well, we must be the change. That’s right, but we have to be the change right now and everytime. Remember, life is like a deep forest made of trees but there is spaces between them. We have to surf into the forest whitout falling on the ground or crashing down against trees. Our souls must be free as a way of running with harmony. It is absolutely important that the soul must get free from its attachment to the idea of oppositions. Basically, we have to liberate our mind. We have to cultivate a state of innocence in which there is neither denigration nor acceptance and in which our soul can only see what it is ! Finally, the key is adjustment. The incapacity to adjust ourself is destructive. Adjustment is wisdom. The wisdom is not the capacity of eradicating the good from the bad but the capacity of surfing on both of them as a little piece of wood can do it on the big waves of the ocean during the storm. Our soul should be ready whitout tension or mental effort. An adjusted soul is the one that whitout thinking is not dreaming, whitout rigidity seems to be very flexible and then very aware and ready to be facing every single things that come. We have to be flexible as a way of being able to adjust ourself to change. We have to empty and open our souls because remember it is into the emptiness that reside the use of the cup ! I think that maybe we could take a look at a reed. The reed is perfect and straight when there is no wind at all outside but it doesn’t break under the storm. It could oscillate and swing with the wind because it is flexable and because it adjusts itself.

    Dear Miss Allison Mack, i really hope you’re fine.
    Keep smiling,

    Now here’s my king regard to both Tabby and You.
    All the best,

    Your friend always,
    Joey L.

    PS : I hope it won’t be deleted.
    See you next time.

  • Vegas911

    on July 28, 2008 at 9:07 am

    No David I did not feel that you were attacking my point of view, I just was unsure if you understood what I was trying to say, I can be a little wacked sometimes trying to write down my thoughts. I am not speaking of the way a person would would want you to treat them, I am saying treat them the way that YOU would WANT them to treat you. I can totally understand the loss of faith in other people, but I have to hold on to the idea that people are basically good, not bad. If I had to let that idea go, I think I would be a depressed and lonely person. I have faith David, and I am so sorry that someone hurt you the way that they did!!! I hate to see or hear of anyone being used and abused….i have had my fair share of people like that in my life….even so, I have to have faith!!! I get hurt all of the time by those that I thought loved or even slightly cared about me…for a long time I was really bitter, but that serves no purpose, it only hurts me, because they don’t care. So David keep the faith…..BTW I have that song downloaded and it is truley one of my faves….Sweet dreams are made of these…..just try to steer clear of the users!!! Much Love ~ Netra

  • SmallvilleRulz

    on July 31, 2008 at 12:54 am

    a lot of people replied to this one with big messages…pretty cool i didnt really read it so yeh ur goin 4 $1229 on owned yeh not much tom welling though…no wonder hes so freakin hot!!!!I LUV SMALLVILLE anyways i just felt like replying yeh….watchin apocalypse for the first time tonight im so time infinity excited and chloe’s feance’ (hav no idea how to spell that….looks so hot!!!!!she so lucky, jimmy in the real world and a hot boyfriend in he alternate

  • SmallvilleRulz

    on July 31, 2008 at 12:59 am

    holy shit wats up with the big messages MWHAHAHA this is probably the comment on this page and no one will read it!!!!MWHAHAHAHA
    msy as well say like usual u may find it as my…i dont no…signature

    from a very big smallville fan