Ok, so pride is the greatest limitation in the world. I set out to be wonderful and present in everything I do and yet because of this confusion I have with my image, it is almost impossible for me to be present and real in any given situation. I am just noticing that this is all an effect of the pride I carry and work to uphold at all times.

I am so confused with the person I think I need to be vs the woman I am. The funniest part of all is the woman I am is actually cool. When I find humility and appreciation I enjoy all people and experiences so much more. I love and value each interaction because I see people as something other than objects to confirm my image.

Funny, I think because I grew up thinking the image I play is the best and most important thing in the world, I am so afraid to be something other than that, but because of this fear I confirm this belief and perpetuate the issue. Vicious cycle, no?

I am working on a movie that I will be filming in June and I am seeing my limitations as an actress and it is only since the last few days I have been able to admit to the challenge and ask for help. I am very excited now, as opposed to the “freaked-the-fuck-out” I was before, because I feel like I am learning how to learn. Similar to the directing, maybe this will help me to build myself into the actress I want to be.

Maybe I can get better? Grow? That’s exciting. Am I alone in this enslavement to the image?

xo
a

Add yours Comments – 76

  • John

    on May 15, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Everybody has limitations, and it is those limitations we have to work through to make ourselves better. It’s like having to step out of your comfort zone, which is very hard to do for some people. Once you have mastered this uneasy feeling, you will feel like you have accomplished so much.

    John

  • Tucker

    on May 15, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    You are definitely not alone. And, frankly, it’s one of the hardest things to get past as an actor. But that form of expression is such a great mirror on who you are as individual.

    It all comes down to honesty. As you are striving so much for that in your own personal life, it makes sense you would look for that in your professional life as well. And again, because of your particular profession, both explorations only serve to open up more about each.

    This is something in my own journey as an actor and storyteller I’ve really been focusing on. And it’s bled over into my personal life as well. I know how simultaneously daunting and exhilarating that is for me, so I can imagine it just has to make you tingle at points.

  • Dan

    on May 15, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    Well I’m not an actor but in a profession which is very much in the public eye and under public scrutiny where I have to behave and “act” a part that is sometimes at odds with how I am feeling. Like a swan, I have to behave graceful, calm and in control when inside I’m feeling like a total ****-up and so not in control…

    We all have that conflict in our lives of being the person we are and the person we want to be, could be or maybe even don’t want to be! The only limitations in life are the ones we impose on ourselves. Acknowledging those limitations like you’ve done is the first step to growing. You’re not alone in that.

    I hope that doesn’t sound too clichéd and patronizing. I wish you all the best with the film and I’m enjoying reading your blog and loved the Annie Hall clip. I’ve never seen the film, so will have to look it up. You’ve inspired me to go out and experience something I’ve never experienced before. It may only be a movie, but it shows how YOU can be an inspiration to others! Here’s to more inspiration!
    All the best Dan xx

  • taylor nikole

    on May 16, 2009 at 12:37 am

    “freaked-the-fuck-out”
    you’ll be fine 🙂 hahah

    you know what another good phrase thingy is:
    “Fan-fucking-tastic”
    i say it all the time 🙂
    its nifty

  • Dream_Walker

    on May 16, 2009 at 12:52 am

    I used to be slave to image ive been forced to carry with me by myself or others. But one point i didnt like who that “image” became so i flipped the coin sorta, and broke the cycle. I ignored others as they forced upon me who i should be and i came out of the box, becoming who i wanted to be and not living upto others expectations. Suddenly i saw whole new world, no limitations no boundaries no disappointments. I must say i sleep much better and i can look into mirror without fearing the person ive become, cause i let myself free – free of my own little bubble i was afraid of reaching from 😀 So dont be afraid You to brake the cycle, the greatest ally and Your greatest enemy can be Your own mind limiting You 😉 Let go 😀 Cheers, DW

  • Jade Ruby

    on May 16, 2009 at 1:25 am

    David Hayes Says:
    Here are a couple Mack challenges. Maybe some of the other posters would like adding challenges as well.

    Weeell,
    I would like to see Allison do something from Point of No Return, or Domino. And I think she would be GREAT as Hanna from My Super Ex-Girlfriend.
    Those are what could be some nice meaty roles.

  • coco

    on May 16, 2009 at 2:20 am

    i only became who i really am once i stopped caring about what others think. and once i realised that it’s ok to be imperfect, as long as you aknowledge it… (you;ll be suprised to find people will love you more for it!) and that in the case that my imperfection causes someone hurt,then apologise. so yeah, i guess it also has to do with humility.

    i guess being happy with who you are, has to do with not having a bad self-concept, and at the same time, not having a perfect self-concept either.making any sense?

  • Kathy

    on May 16, 2009 at 5:29 am

    As long as you keep wanting to learn about life, you will continue to grow.

    As a viewer, I have seen you grow as an actress on Smallville and it’s been damn exciting to watch.

    Good luck with your new role–I am sure you will be wonderful.

  • Irene

    on May 16, 2009 at 5:42 am

    i was watching tv last night and I heard someone say, “Limitations are speed bumps in the road, not stop signs.” It reminded me of what you said…I’m glad your open to learning the depths & complexities of your craft/ passion.

    I can’t help but to reflect on my own words to you though, cause I do tend to stop when I get stuck creatively. I wonder if I should go back to art school, but I find that life is always the best teacher to draw from.

  • Beth

    on May 16, 2009 at 6:55 am

    You’re not the only one who feels enslaved by an image. I’m sure there are many of us who do.

    In terms of admitting to a challenge and asking for help, I get it. I have this massive essay due next week and up until a few hours ago, I was really stuck and seriously thought I wouldn’t get it finished. Now I’m actually getting into it and I should probably get back to it so I do finish it on time…

    It’s good that you’re excited about learning. Although I guess it would depend on what you’re learning. Like for me I’m only now excited about my essay because of what I’m writing about. Discussion of live performance…could be a lot worse…

    Good luck with the movie.

    xo

  • Beth

    on May 16, 2009 at 7:06 am

    I like taylors phrase.
    I say that all the time too.
    Except half the time it’s when I actually fuck up and I’m being sarcastic.

  • Smallvillekent

    on May 16, 2009 at 7:48 am

    Allison, Yes the woman you are is definitely cool. We all think so. I am looking foward to your new movie you start filming in June. Also is You coming out on DVD or do you have to just download it to watch it? Best of Luck with everything.

  • Jade Ruby

    on May 16, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Smallvillekent,

    The DVD of You is available from Dancing Moon for $14.95 +s&h or from Amazon for $19.95 +s&h.

  • Smallvillekent

    on May 16, 2009 at 9:44 am

    Jade Ruby, Thank You for the information on the You DVD!

  • Ornella Santilli

    on May 16, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Dear Allison: Do not worry, be happy!!! You have to be happy because you are a model to follow for many of us, including me!!!!!! I really admire your work!!!!!!!
    Smallville has made me forget all my problems!!!!!!!!! It´s like a therapy!!! It’s true!!!! I swear!!! You and the other actors, who I really worship, are like Psichologists for me!!!!!!! You make me laugh and appreciate life!!!!
    LOS QUIERO HARTO!!!!!!!!!!
    I wish you the best of this Universe!!!!
    I hope you can read it ’cause it comes from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!
    Orne from Mendoza, Argentina.

  • Ornella Santilli

    on May 16, 2009 at 10:15 am

    Dear Allison: I like a lot Astrology!!! If you want I can make only for you: your Birth chart and the interpretation. It is really great because through it you get to know yourself better and understand why are you here!!! It is incrediblle because many people sometimes can find the solutions and answers to their problems!!!
    You have to send me your complete name (real name), your birthday (complete date: day, month and year), Birth time (for example: 1:45 P.M), and birthplace (state and country).
    My e-mail is ginis_22_08@hotmail.com

    P.S: DO NOT BE AFRAID I AM NOT A WITCH!! IT IS A HOBBY AND I WANT TO HELP YOU!!!
    A loyal friend, ORNELLA FROM ARGENTINA.

  • Jade Ruby

    on May 16, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Sure, you’re welcome Smallvillekent.

  • Ornella Santilli

    on May 16, 2009 at 10:43 am

    How old are you members?

  • Jade Ruby

    on May 16, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Ornella Santilli Says:
    “How old are you members?”

    The regulars posters are a wide variety of ages. How come?

  • Ornella Santilli

    on May 16, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    I just wanted to know in order to have contact with everybody!
    I’m 23 and I’m an English teacher here in Argentina!!! I live in Rivadavia, Mendoza (near the mountains). My favourite food is Pizza. My favourite music is Pop. My favourite serie is, obviously, Smallville!!!!
    What about you? What can you tell me guys?

  • cblack

    on May 16, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    “I am everything I imagine myself to be.
    I create everything that is in my life.
    I choose to .”

    …and whenever I remind myself of these truths, any enslavement to image – or to anything for that matter – ceases to exist 🙂

    You’ve got some stellar ideas brewing in this blog, Allison. Kudos to you for puttin’ it all out on the web-table 🙂

  • Brittany

    on May 18, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    Hey Allison, I think everyone sets their own image of themselves, of whom they want to be, what they want to look like and do in life. I don’t think we should just make an image, I think we should take the steps of creating our own images and not to make it out because of what others think but because of what we think. If that made any sense :). Great post! Can’t wait to hear more about your next movie!
    Much love & support,
    BrittanyXOXOXOXOXO

  • Andrew

    on May 18, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    You’re far from alone. I wonder sometimes if the American movie/entertainment culture has put images in my head of what I should be to be liked or successful and how many of them I’ve just accepted without realizing it. I’m a day dreamer and a perfectionist though so I have idealizations of my own. I’m not perfect though and I’m just learning how much of a blessing that is. Life is a journey of becoming and that can’t happen without imperfections to surpass. I love your wisdom Allison. Thank you for sharing.

    ~Andy

  • Georgia Choate

    on May 19, 2009 at 10:54 am

    If we are trying to be “present and real” and guard against pride, we should spend as much time as we can with the very young and the very old. All kinds of people get neglected, but it seems that these two groups, the under 6 and the over 60 truly need us more than our own age group. My children and their little friends want to be with me. And the old people I know seem so visibly affected and appreciative by the attention I give them. They don’t care about my image. I can be myself with these two groups, and they love me unconditionally, especially little children.

  • allendh

    on May 19, 2009 at 11:41 am

    hello there allison, ive learnt that you are who you are, people may try to be different in certain situations, but in the end the real, true you always comes through, so whats the point in trying to be different. i live my day eachday at a time, but my ego doesnt get in my way, if i need help i ask.

  • Hannah_Q

    on May 19, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    From the moment you had a problem to the moment you decided to solve it; and from the moment you saw you couldn’t do it by yourself and asked for help, you grew already – that’s reason for pride (which is not all bad, it makes us wish to be better, pride will never allow you to do less than you can)
    I’m sure the new movie will be great!
    Good luck =3