Have you ever caught yourself doing that? It’s so ridiculous. Like, why not just tell your friends you ate the chocolate cake? Why lie about the way you lost your front tooth? Somehow the story is so much more compelling than the truth. Lie. What are the implications of such a habit? No trust from anyone. That is one.

Huh, so to transition lies to storytelling… maybe I use my powers for good rather than evil. I will practice telling stories. I bought a book. Yes, I believe there is a book for everything, and I bought one for a daily writing practice.
It is called “A Writer’s Book of Days“. It was written by a woman named Judy Reeves and it gives you a writing exercise every day.

So September 1, I started.

I thought I would share what I write with you all and if you like, you can write along and post as well! Sort of like an online writing group! Yay community!

Here goes:

September 8th, 2009
_________ is the color I remember.

Orange is the color I remember. Burnt orange. Burnt, vibrant, deep rich orange.
I remember cutting the flesh of a vegetable that reminded me of skin coated in iodine.
The smell of iron overwhelmed anything having to do with the banana bread baking in the kitchen.
I was 14 and I had just gotten my belly button pierced and iodine was the answer to infection at that point.
So every day I laid down in the living room, and poured the metallic liquid into the button on my belly so as to ward off evil bacteria from the new hole I chose to impose upon my body.
It was back to school time. Autumn in Los Angeles is a time of clearing skies and smokey sunsets.
The Santa Anna winds rush the overly dried desert with fires across the coast line for weeks in the end of August. And everyone is always so surprised.
It happens every year, and yet we have no memory of the past.
Why is it that certain things stick in our minds, burned into the folds of our brain, never to be forgotten, and other things we repeat as though we are on a loop track?
I suppose the enjoyment of living in Malibu supersedes the annual fires that blaze through the properties there.
I think of these things as I enjoy the burn of air that floats around me and twist my belly button ring in and around the internal and external portion of my soulful carrying case.
“I am such a rebel”, I tell myself. “Blake Heron is going to think I am so hot!”. Oh yes, the puncture wound was an attention strategy for a boy. I wanted desperately to be dangerous. To be desired. To be mysterious. And so I had a human pin cushion jam a needle through my abdomen and called it “cool”. Several years later I would repeat this patten with needles and ink. Scarring myself with pigment and indentations on my chest and ankle as a way to disprove my own value and confirm the value I found in the approval of the man next to me.
Just like the people who refuse to acknowledge the annual fires that dance along the Los Angeles coast line. So do I refuse to acknowledge the life time commitment to consistent abnegation of worth or trust for the next cool, confident, powerful person in the room.
Permission, permission to learn, permission to move on, permission to grow.
Permission to explore other places to live that may be equally as beautiful, but without the fires.
Hmm, that’s a thought.

This being said, I was reading an article recently about an amazing artist/actress/writer/filmmaker named Miranda July, and I found out about an online project she has been doing with another gentleman for the last few years. It’s such a beautiful thing that she’s doing… She and her partner come up with different assignments for anyone to participate in accomplishing, and they have created a site for people to post and share the completion of these assignments. If you want to look at it the site is learningtoloveyoumore.com, and it’s awesome! I was so inspired by this concept that i decided to make my own project like this for my site. I was sharing this idea with one of my best friends, and she told me about something that she and her husband used to do in which they would create an annual calendar filled with their own “celebration days”—days dedicated to celebrating or doing something they loved!

I thought this was wonderful and combined her idea with that of Miranda July… So, this is what I have come up with—an annual calendar that has 4 celebration days per month that are dedicated to different projects/assignments/creations/or events! Here is the first set! I hope you enjoy and participate in these fabulous adventures with me!

All my love,
Allison

Upcoming Mack Event

• 20 November:
  • Find a beautiful leaf and photograph someone you love holding it… (all day) – Click the link to find out how to submit your pictures!

To submit your photo, email it as an attachment to mackevents@allisonmack.com, and we’ll put it up in the gallery as soon as we can!!

Please note: By submitting your image you are giving the rights to Allison Mack to use your submitted image in any fashion.

Here are some featured submissions! Click on the thumbnails to see the beautiful images!

A Cappella Innovations is a festival being put on by my friends, the acappella group Simply Human, the weekend of December 1-2.

A Capella Innovations intends to “promote innovation, evolution and unity in the acappella community, as well as fostering an appreciation in the general public of what can be done with the human instrument.” The two-day event/conference/festival will include 11 different workshops of acappella techniques, constructive evaluations, and professional performances and networking and community-building opportunities, culminating in a celebrity-hosted performance of acappella groups.

The workshops will focus on vocal instrument emulation, arrangement techniques, voice (singing) techniques and vocal percussion and “beatboxing.” Participating groups will have the opportunity to perform for a professional judging panel that will provide rich feedback. A Capella Innovations will be a living, evolving process of talent sharing where, through the exposure to each group’s different techniques and approach, participants will arrive to a whole new level in their performance and experience of acappella music. The public performance at the end of the weekend will showcase the results of this mutual enrichment process.

Hey, team! I hope everyone has been enjoying the little video blog thingies that my dear Tabby has been throwing up over the last little bit. They’re really cool, and, well, let’s be honest… I love to talk, so they’re really fun for me to do as well. I’ve been so inspired as of late, and I’m feeling more and more consistently aware of how lucky I am to be living this life.

I’m looping around and around in my head about that grand and overbearing question “Why am I here?” Just recently, I’ve come to a somewhat vague, but kind of nice conclusion—I think I’m here to make stuff and appreciate stuff that others have made… To spread joy, passion, and enthusiasm through my own experience and expression in the world—simple, right? I kept thinking that my “purpose” had to be this ridiculously complicated thing, but when I get down to the core of it all, it feels like the only real significant reason any of us is here is to find our true selves and the things that make us unique from anyone else in the world, and to express that in a joyful and honest way. I guess the journey of life is whatever happens while you are on the quest to do so… I like this.

Maybe it is because of my fear of failure, but this seems to make the approach to failing and trying new things really exciting rather than daunting. I mean, if I could truly look at everything I do for what it is, just another way to understand and express me in the world, it would kind of take the edge off the outcome. So now, it’s just taking the steps to do so and trying to be compassionate with myself when I get off track or get confused or caught up in other things. What do you think your purpose is? It’s such a weighted word that I don’t think we ever really explore… So let’s do that! I don’t know… Chew on it if you want and share… Throw your hat in the ring. I mean, why not? Right?

Oh, and hey! I never let you all know what happened with my birthday gift that you so beautifully gave to me! I donated it to a theatre project dedicated to aiding all people in their pursuit to finding and expressing their passion in the world. The company is called World Audience Productions, and it’s run by a friend of mine who believes that we can use theatre and acting as a way for people to overcome their greatest fears and truly get in touch with what it means to express themselves in a joyful and exciting way!

I have such a passion for theatre, and I really believe that it can do so much more for this world and the people in it than just simply entertain. The woman who’s building this theatre company is working towards developing a place where all people can come and explore themselves through the art of theatre and acting. It’s really beautiful to see some of the things I value most in my life combined and actualize. Thanks so much again all of you! I’m so constantly overwhelmed by the amazing support and enthusiasm I get from all of you beautiful people! YAY!

Ciao for now,
Allison

PS—For those of you waiting for your pictures, you should be getting them this week, and I hope you all receive them okay! If you don’t receive them by U.S. Thanksgiving, please contact Tabby.

God, I love Rumi. I think he is my all-time favourite poet and philosopher.

So… I apologize for my massive hiatus. Honestly, I have been feeling a little lost recently. I dont know if I am totally alone in this feeling, but the past month of my life I have sort of felt like I have been skimming the surface; just sort of floating through things and not really committing to anything. This plays into all the areas of my life.

I don’t like this feeling at all. Last week, at work, I had the most bizarre experience. For the first time in my career I totally zoned out at work. Thank God for Tom Welling, who reminded me very gently that we are there to tell a story and he wasn’t really sure what I was telling that day. His beautiful and loving feedback really helped to snap me back into reality. I suddenly thought “What am I doing? I have the most awesome job in the world. I work with people that I adore, and I get paid ample to do this.”

It’s so easy to get caught up in my head space of what I don’t have and where I’m not, that I forget to recognize the beauty in what I do have and where I am. I have decided to make a list of the things I love so that I can remind myself of the details in my life that I’ve been ignoring recently.

Who knows? Maybe we have some things in common. Ok, here goes. I love:

• ice cream
• laughing
• friends
• movies
• warm wool socks
• getting into a hot shower after being out in the cold rain and feeling my toes defrost
• art
• books
• taking an amazing photograph
• touching down after a long flight in a totally new country
• movie previews
• good acting
• overatures at the ballet
• bows at the end of a performance
• my nephew’s bounce
• when my dog scratches his nose on the ground
• hitting a scene just right
• hearing my best friends hour long messages on my machine
• flowers
• when the sun breaks through on a rainy day
• amazing alliterations in Tom Robbins’ novels
• my boyfriends cooking
• going to an art opening
• walking down the street, with the leaves changing and my arm wrapped around someone
• singing

Ok…wow, I feel better. It would be so cool if you all tried this and commented with your list. I would love to see the things we have in common! Thanks for listening to me vent. I so appreciate all of you! oh and hey!!!!

Oh, I won a Teen Choice again!!!!! So cool, right? Maybe this year I will get a surfboard!

Ciao for now
Allison

by Bruce Jenner

I find this quote so incredibly inspiring! I realized that I have only ever really done what feels comfortable in my life. I have never put myself in a position where I’m doing something that I have never done before. I have done this knowingly because the idea of looking like I don’t know what I am doing scares the heck out of me. After realizing this, I feel that limiting myself is ridiculous!

I am just shooting myself in the foot because… how can I ever grow if I never challenge myself. How can I ever know the depths of me if I spend my whole life skimming the surface and doing what is comfortable. So, I have decided to branch out. I will be directing episode 20 of Smallville this year, and I am so intimidated! It’s silly. I know that I have eight months to prep and that I have the most amazing crew of people around me that will do everything in their power to help me make something awesome, but getting past that ego that drives me has been a huge challenge. Ignoring the voice inside my head that is screaming “You have no clue how to do this!” has definitely been a challenge.

As I start to do more and more work on building this skill in myself, the voice is starting to soften and I am actually really enjoying the process. I liked this quote so much because it talks about “abolishing you fears” and “raising your commitment to the point of no return!” There is something so empowering about that phrase! So I am raising my “commitment level to the point of no return”!

I have now announced it to all you lovelies and I can’t go back on my word. It’s that silly pride thing that is actually helpful in this situation I am taking on something so foreign but I have made a strong decision to enjoy the learning process! Who knows, maybe I will become a fabulous director and just have two careers! Woah… let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Thanks for all the support you provide! I love hearing from you every week. You have no idea how much joy I get out of reading your thoughts on this website!

Ciao to all
Allison

ps… Oh yeah! And check out Miss Tabby’s site, allisonmackonline.com. She is doing some really awesome stuff for my birthday! I am collecting funds for a foundation that I am starting and any support is so so so appreciated!

London has been brilliant! I can feel myself picking up a British accent in just the 4 days I have been here. I am such a sponge it is silly…

I started my trip on the most incredible first class flight on Virgin Air. It was so amazing! I felt as though I had stepped into an Austin Powers private jet with a full bar, seats that reclined all the way back with a feather comforter, and gorgeous stewards all dressed in bright red and purple! It was fab!

My friend, Sarah, joined me on the trip, and we had such a wonderful time playing with all the things on the plane. After we had been in the air for a few hours Sarah suggested that we grab some champagne at the bar. When we walked up, we met the most wonderful man named Mickey, from East London. We started chatting and it turns out that he does the lighting design for a bunch of rock shows all over the world. He asked us if we like Pink Floyd, and Sarah and I both looked at him and said “YES!”….and so it was done! We officially had plans with Mickey for dinner and a rock show… all this before we even started over the Atlantic. I spent the rest of the flight sleeping and gearing up for the fabulous weekend ahead!

When we landed, we were met by the fabulous Ben Brown. Ben was our driver for the day and was so so lovely. The only problem was that he wasn’t from London, so we had to rely on a GPS system to get us where we needed to go. This posed a bit of a problem and we ended up driving around London for about 3 hours before we finally found where we were headed. No worries, though! We were still just thrilled to be on the ground in the UK. So, we threw on some make up, deodorant, and new jeans and headed out to a fantastic dinner at a Japanese restaurant called Zuma’s, followed by the most amazing show at Earl’s Court, complete with VIP seats and tickets to the VIP lounge! We stayed until I thought I would fall over and then jumped in the car and headed up to Coventry where the convention was to begin at 8:30 the next morning.

I rushed to bed as soon as I could and woke up about 3 hours later feeling a bit refreshed and ready for the day. We were staying in an old Abbey called Coombes Abbey. It was this stunning old medieval Abbey that was surrounded by the most beautiful gardens and ponds. When I jumped on the bus, I joined Jenson Ackles, Brooke Nevin, Alan Ritchson, Alona Tal, and a few other fabulous actors for a weekend of fun with the fans. The actual convention was fantastic!! I sang twice and felt so incredibly loved by all the wonderful fans that were there! It is always so nice to be able to meet and see the people who are responsible for making the show a success. After two days of shaking hands and signing autographs, I was quite exhausted and ready for round two of the fantastic first class trip home.

Tuesday May 15th:
I met up with my friend Sarah in a gorgeous area of London called Hampstead Heath, and we had about 12 hours with some friends before our flight took off on Monday. On the way home, I watched 3 movies, all fantastic, and tried my best to sleep. My internal clock is so off, I don’t know which way is up… and now, I am in LA!

I’m spending time with the family and getting some things sorted out before the next leg of my adventure! I hope you all are doing beautifully and I hope you enjoyed watching Noir as much as we enjoyed shooting it! Have fun with the season finale! It’s a wet one!

Talk to you in a few days!

Ciao,
Allison

Extra
We’ve asked a Rachel and Beckie to submit their photos of the convention, so you can view those in the gallery here. If you’d like to submit your photos of the convention to the gallery, email them to admin@allisonmack.com, and we’ll put them up!

Rachel also has a video of me singing, and has given permission to post it here. Click the video below to hear a bit of “Angel from Montgomery”, a capella.

Hello, my fellow thinkers! I want to start this blog by thanking everyone for their beautiful and incredibly personal responses last week. I had the opportunity to read many of the entries, and I was so moved by all of your willingness to share and be honest about what is going on for you. I have to admit that it was really scary being that upfront about my insecurities, and it was so amazing to feel the support from all you readers and then to see the participation that came from that… Truly beautiful.

So, it has been an insane week finishing up on the show. I always seem to work the last day of the season. Last year ended with a kiss with Tom Welling and some Egg McMuffins at 7:30 A.M. This year, I got off an hour earlier, but it was much colder and there was no kissing involved. We seem to be going downhill here. I must complain to the manager.

Ok… So this week, I have picked yet another Gandhi quote. I mean, the man was brilliant! And I have been really thinking about money and how misrepresented it is in today’s society. I think it is so funny that we choose to blame our problems on an inanimate object instead of looking at it and recognizing that it isn’t the money that creates the issue; it is what we as human beings choose to do with this money that creates the struggles, but it is so much easier to relinquish responsibility. I know this to be true because I do it, consistently. I, often times, feel very guilty about the money that I make because I love what I do so much, I have always been very mixed up in my belief that it isn’t really hard work if it is fun; and since I have always loved what I do, I don’t equate it with hard work, therefore denying that I have put any effort into earning my success, and in turn, feel guilty about it. Oy! Yet another thing to work on. Haha! It seems to be a never-ending struggle. I guess that is the point in life– to find struggles, overcome them, and then help your fellow humans do the same. What a wonderful cycle.

I also wanted to bring up finances and money because last year, a great friend of mine introduced me to this wonderful new type of banking called “microfinancing.” For those of you who don’t know much about it, the man that developed it (Muhammad Yunus) won the Nobel Peace Prize this year. It is this really awesome program that he set up in Bangladesh that offers small loans (sometimes as low as 50 bucks) to entrepreneurs in developing nations. This gives them the opportunity to help themselves out of their situation and eventually build enough of a business to employ others in their community. It is such a beautiful way to encourage people out of poverty because it supplies an opportunity where there wouldn’t normally be one, and yet it isn’t a handout. The people can feel like they are doing it on their own, therefore, there is no loss of pride or self-esteem.

It’s amazing for me, how much better I feel about receiving money when I feel as though I have actually earned it. It’s like I was saying before, until I actually acknowledged the effort that I put into my career, I felt very bad about taking the money for it. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be in a developing country that is living off of handouts. I can project that I would have very low self-esteem and confidence as an effect of the lack of effort that I put in to earning that money that someone has given me for simply existing in this poor country. But what microfinance does is provide people with the opportunity to earn the money, thereby building a greater sense of pride and independence, which ultimately results in raised self-esteem. Beautiful.

I am so excited about this program and these ideas because it feels like a sustainable and constructive way to address some of the world’s poverty issues. I want to encourage all of you to check out two websites that are dedicated to this type of banking and do a little more reading about it on your own.

The sites are www.kiva.org and www.grameenfoundation.org.

I hope you have as much fun reading about it and are as inspired by their ideas and missions as I am!

Look forward to your feedback! Yay!

Ciao, friends.

Allison