So I know when I am struggling with something when I eat all the time.

Today and yesterday have been days of consumption, days of indulgence and decadence. Do you know that I have such a strange and twisted relationship with the food I eat? I have a strange and twisted relationship with myself, so obviously that is going to show up everywhere, but really? The things I choose to consume and the reasons why I consume them are so NOT about health and wellness.

I am totally obsessed with staying thin and in fact it is the one thing I focus on when anything else in my life is in turmoil. I think I feel like I am in control when I do that. Like when I feel totally spun out and crazy I can look to food and have the option to decide something in my life that is purely up to me. I like this feeling. If I prove this to myself, then I get to believe that I have some semblance of certainty in my world; some order within this chaos.
I don’t know, if it does exist, I don’t think it has anything to do with my eating habits.

Oh my; tired, full, and a little emotional.

Such is life.
xo
a

Add yours Comments – 96

  • Maria

    on May 6, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    “… I think it is more important to be happy with who you are…”

    ITA I mean today the media says you’re happy when you’re skinny. That’s the “IN” thing right now. And it really frustrates me cause I mean what about those people that aren’t completely skinny, what are they outcast? If you’re fat it’s bad??

  • Geoff

    on May 6, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    “I am totally obsessed with staying thin.” – Ali Mack

    Oh crap. Not you too.

    Fun Fact: Did you know that only a few centuries ago, women with big hips were considered the sexiest women on earth?? It was to the point where women were having surgical procedures undertaken to remove their lower ribs, thus making there hips (and bums) unbelievably huge. Apparently, it was ‘the hawtness.’

    Our society has narrowed our perception of beauty to unreachable standards. And I think that is sad. And I see a lot of women running around like crazy trying to meet those unrealistic standards of beauty they see on television, magazine covers, and movies.

    But guess what? The people you see in those various media outlets don’t even look like that! They have wonderful makeup artists, not to mention airbrushing and photoshop! So what is the point of trying to like someone who doesn’t even really look like that? It’s an exercise in futility if you ask me.

    Ali Mack is pretty because of her eyes and her crooked smile. So whether she weighs 100 lbs or 300 lbs… those things are still going to be there. 😛

  • Maria

    on May 6, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    “… sometimes people turn their nose up at something they don’t like the look of, when they are people fighting in this world to feed themselves.”

    Sometimes I feel so guilty. My mom called me out on that a couple of days ago cause I threw away a whole plate of Lasagna simply cause I don’t like lasagna and she said ” That plate you just wasted is a plat that a little boy or girl in Africa could be eating.” I felt so bad cause it’s true! Sometime we complain of the things we have and they’re people out there who’d kill for that chance to have this life.

  • Geoff

    on May 6, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Also, I would just like to say that our perception of what is beautiful constantly changes.

    C’mon Ali…. you grew up in the 80’s. We all know you have a crimping iron. tee hee

    Feel better!

  • Adam

    on May 6, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Allison,

    From reading the last few blogs it really sounds like you are going through some significant transitions in your life. We are either in a storm, entering a storm, or coming out of a storm. As human beings we are always growing and changing and we are influenced not only by internal changes but from external influences such as family, friends, job. (sorry for the run on). We obtain peace through these storms by letting the wind carry us when we need it to. Keeping our eyes firmly on the horizon which gives us the stability and calmness. And having our beliefs and convictions as our compass. We all go through them and some more major than others because I can attest that I’m going through one of those changes now.

    Live, Love, Laugh, Learn
    a

  • Amanda N.

    on May 6, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    I don’t know if I have ever analysed what I eat to the point where I don’t try something new.I usually go with the expression Andrew Zimmern says “If it looks good,then eat it”I sorta have a picky appetite,but a fast metabolism.So I’m glad for that.I guess if I worry about anything it would be getting diabetes.My dad has it and it runs on both sides of the family.It’s interesting to know you obsess over being thin.I kinda thought you didn’t,just wanted to be healthy is all.But you are human and a girl,and that is a very common thing among us females.Allison Mack you are a beautiful vibrant woman who has so many good things going for you.You look amazing with the body you have.If you ever decide to diet or do some weird excersise routine,all I will say is don’t get too thin.But I will say it is nice to know you have the same feelings over food as others do,just one more thing I love about you.Thanks for sharing.

  • allendh

    on May 6, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    im using the old joke “im on a sea food diet, if i see it, then it gets eaten.

  • Marissa KV

    on May 6, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    I can understand what you’re saying to a degree. I use food a lot, usually to escape my reality and the issues at hand. Or if i am just having a bad day and decide that I’m going to unwind with food and a movie. However, I do not have your surge of needing to stay thin, because I lack all sorts of motivation. It’s one of the areas that I lack control in my life. And it gets very frustrating…and usually makes food look that much more appealing. I guess perhaps there is probably more motivation to look in shape when you’re on everyone’s televisions once a week. I think that might do it for me. Lol. In any case, where do you draw your motivation from? And what foods do you turn to in a time of need?

  • Tyler

    on May 6, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    The greatest mistake we can make in life is to base our opinions of someone from what the person looks like. As a society we MUST get over this obsession with looks because we are missing out on some pretty amazing relationships. I think about the woman who just had a face transplant here in the US. Her message was simple but extremely profound: “When somebody don’t look as pretty as you do, don’t judge them. You don’t know what might happen to you. Don’t judge the people who don’t look the same way as you do. You never know when it may be taken away from you.” Looks, weight, etc. are nothing. As cliche as it sounds, it’s whats on the inside that counts.

    Take care of yourself and others.

    PS- AM, you are a great person

  • Dana

    on May 6, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    Geoff

    “I am totally obsessed with staying thin.” – Ali Mack

    Oh crap. Not you too.

    For some reason this made me laugh… I know it was not meant to be funny, but that is exactly how I felt when I read the blog. Then I had to remind myself that it’s unfair to set expectations for other people. We are all people, and we are all flawed. We all go through struggles, and unfortunately for a lot of people, dealing with weight and body image issues is a big deal.

    Oh, and thanks for the “fun fact,” I’ve heard of some pretty ridiculous plastic surgeries, but never removing the lower ribs. Ouch! You’re so right in saying standards change all the time. I think the important question to ask here is who sets them in the first place? Any ideas? I would say the media, but that seems like way to simple of an answer. Do we? Is this like the “what came first, the chicken or the egg” question? Are standards based off of the current society or does society try and change to meet standards that are set?

  • Joshua

    on May 6, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    So… what’s your favorite food miss Mack? What makes you feel better every time after you eat it, No matter what?

  • Krystal

    on May 6, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    I have been thinking about my reply for several hours now. I truly do not think that I can convey the complexity of this issue in my own life. (::SIGHS::)

    I had a conversation with someone at work today about how frustrating it is that weight/food consumes (no pun intended) like….90% of my conversation. I am constantly having the same issues with food/weight over and over. It annoys the heck out of me. If I took all of the energy that I put into being discontent and erked by weight, I could probably change myself significanly for the better.

    You would think that I would actually be thin with that much preoccupation. I am not. I am a size 10/12. I went through a time from about 14-21 where I had a very serious eating disorder. I finally got help and sort of “got better”. As a direct result I gained 70 lbs. I have lost some of that now, but basically what is left is a girl whose mind has an ED but is physically fat. Conflict much!

    I go through periods of amazing self discipline and still come out frustrated. Recently I went 3 months running 5 to 7 miles 5 to 6 days a weeks and I only managed to gain weight. I was only eating about 1000-1300 cals a day. If that didn’t spell FAILURE in bright neon letters I don’t know what would.

    I feel like people look at me and must think that I am a lazy and untalented individual. But I think the truth is that I do focus on the weight to avoid the rest of me that is undesirable. If I can’t manage to change something that seems to have a clear cut recipe for success, how am I going to dive in deeper to help change the things that seem to be built into the essence of who I am?

  • Krystal

    on May 6, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    By the way, I know people probably say this to you a lot…and if you are like me it doesn’t really matter how many people say it of you do not believe it to be true….but I truly think that you are very beautiful!

  • Jade Ruby

    on May 6, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    I don’t know. I think I should go back to being a vegetarian; but I’m hooked on meat, and peaches don’t freeze too well.

  • iliana

    on May 6, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Reading this made me sad. I think it was the strange and twisted part that really hit me. I think sometimes we need to take a step back from the introspection and realize that doing our best has to be good enough and to try harder when it isn’t. That’s all we can do. I’m focusing on this rather then the food isuue to begin with because you related it to your relationship with food.

    I can understand wanting to be in control of your life and but it always scares the crap out of me to hear people say that controlling what they eat helps them do that because it veers on such dangerous ground.

    In the end food should be about enjoyment and nutrition and focusing on it will not help you control other aspects of your life that are worrying you. Quite the opposite I fear.

    I think you’re gorgeous as you are Allison. I think your weight is just fine and you don’t need to lose any more at all. It’s ok to watch what you eat and be healthy and it’s ok to pig out with friends on a weekend and just indulge for the sake of enjoyment. Everything in moderation and all that jazz…

    I hope that whatever has you feeling like this is cleared up and that you feel happier soon.

    On the subject of happy, how is your new kitty? Should we expect pics soon?

    😉

    Take care of yourself and don’t worry so much. I worry about you worrying which I realize is slightly insane but hey…:D

  • Jenny

    on May 6, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    I’ve never really been obsessed with staying thin as I’ve been thin my entire life. Too thin as a child. I use to be a very picky eater,but now I’m a total foodie. I’m pigging out on sour cream and onion chips as I’m writting this. I wasn’t happy with my body until I was about 16. I’m 27 now and a happy 110 lbs. I’m curvy and use to been called skinny ass. There are times when I have alot going on in my life and turn to food, and I would be lying if I didn’t worry about gaining a few pounds now that I’m older. I’m use to being a certain size and I like it. I workout here and there,not as much as I would like to. I desperately want to build tone in my arms and legs.

    So many celebrities are obsessed with being thin. I love the ones who say real women have curves and yet their on diets or hitting the gym to stay thin.

    Allison you look beautiful,you always have. Please don’t become one of those obsessed celebrities.

  • jennygirl

    on May 6, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Yes! When I am thin, I feel very powerful and can do anything! When I’ve put on a few pounds I feel a complete failure.

    I was always thin before having kids, and was shocked at how putting on some weight affected my self image. When I took it off a couple years ago, I felt like a new woman, my old self again!

    I have been obsessed with it during the past year as it is creeping back onto my body as I’m trying to battle it back off.

    Seems a silly thing to obsess over, as no one else actually cares, and makes me very self centered, but I can’t stand NOT being the thin person I was. People treat you differently, and I act differently as well.

  • Brittany

    on May 6, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Hello Allison. You are simply beautiful inside and out. I find that totally intriguing that you have a strange & twisted relationship with the food you eat. I love to eat aswell. Sometimes I eat not because I’m hungry but just because I love food. I have a very high metabolism, so I gain no pounds, I don’t get a belly and nothing seems to change. But then again, I’m only 16. I just hope that I will be able to keep my shape the way it is now, when I get older. I can just imagine how challenging it can be! I wish you the best of luck with your food relationship.
    Much love & support,
    Brittany XOXOXOXO

  • viviane

    on May 6, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    eating is very good, especially if you can eat everything! love!

    kisses, take care 😉

  • Geoff

    on May 6, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Dana wrote:
    “You’re so right in saying standards change all the time. I think the important question to ask here is who sets them in the first place? Any ideas? I would say the media, but that seems like way to simple of an answer. Do we? Is this like the “what came first, the chicken or the egg” question? Are standards based off of the current society or does society try and change to meet standards that are set?”

    Here’s an experiment I’d like you to try: Take a walk through the city you live in and take note of all of the advertisements you see displaying unbelievably “beautiful” people.

    We are inundated and overwhelmed by these images on a minute-by-minute basis. As a result, we have become passive receivers of media, and we tend to shut off our critical thinking skills when we believe we are being entertained. That’s why CNN has gotten so flashy over the past few years. Entertaining people is more important than telling the truth.

    The same happens when we watch the Oscars. More time is spent on the red carpet discussing fashion and designers and who is wearing what than giving out the actual awards.

    So I’d say the media is largely responsible for our misperceptions regarding standards of beauty.

    I’ve worked in the film industry for a few years now, and let me just say that a lot of the actors I’ve met are “beautiful train wrecks.” Not most of them, but a lot.

    AM is not one of them though, from what I’ve seen. She’s kind to everyone on set (even the PA’s). You can accidentally make eye contact with her without worry of being fired for it… and you can even say “hi”! *shock*

    A lot of celebrities are merely well kept images, and these images often do not coincide with reality. But some of them *wink wink* are truly wonderful. It’s good to know that there are some decent people in this biz.

  • Denis

    on May 6, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Hello Allison! My name is Denis, I’m from Brazil, I am your fan. I do not write much in English, use a translator for that. But I know that you think very talented. A big kiss from your fan in Rio de Janeiro!

  • helenwinx

    on May 6, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    I understand what u mean a little, as for me, I always watch what I eat, I just don’t see myself fat at all, don’t know how some people allow themselves to get so big and then try to get the weight off, not hating on then but don’t know how they do it, I love my size and can’t see myself being fat,I born to be thin

  • Kathy-Lynn

    on May 6, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    I have fought the weight issue since I can remember. I remember getting laughed at in school on a regular basis. Then when I turned 17 I said no more. I had a crush on this guy at school, (the school jock.) We became friends and talked but it never came to anything. I decided to workout everyday and I cut back on my eating. I went through this phase were I thought if I drunk a glass of water that I would need to workout. I almost passed-out and my parents put a stop to the out of control not eating behavior I had. When I turned 20 I met the man of my dreams and we got married 5 years later. I began to get comfortable and started to eat and eat and eat. Then all my hard work was gone. Now I look in the mirror and I want to go back to the way I looked when I first met him. He says that I’m beautiful to him and I know that in his eyes I am. But not to me. And if your not beautiful to yourself, then how can you be beautiful to anyone-else.

    I think your beautiful and if I looked anything like you I wouldn’t have anything to worry about. I’d love to know your diet plan and workout schedule.

    Thanks,
    Kathy-Lynn

  • Dana

    on May 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    Geoff,

    I would agree that we are overwhelmed with images that focus on appearance, but I guess what I was getting at is who gave physical appearance the power it has to begin with? Why have we as a society decided that appearance is so important? Why is thin in?

    Can you imagine a world where you walked down the street, looking at billboards and what you saw were acts of kindness. What if we were inundated with those kinds of images on a day to day basis. For most people, it’s not feasible to achieve the appearance of the people plastered across billboards, in the end we only feel disappointment and failure. But acts of kindness…. that’s something achievable.

    I would also argue that people aren’t as passive of receivers as you say. I think we realize what is going on, and most people don’t care for the message, but it’s hard to do something when you are one person fighting an industry. The only way to fight it seems to be to ignore it, but since when has ignoring a problem ever solved it?

  • Ana

    on May 6, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    Oh I know what you mean I also have this strange relationship with food. I need to get my cravings or I get physically ill and depressed when I want carbs I need to get them when I want sugar I need to get them when I have too much of carbs, fats and sugars I need to have at least one healthy food like salad or fruit so I’m kind of balanced. It helps that I got fantastic all you can eat genes and I don’t gain any weight but still I need to make sure I don’t get too comfy with this because I might get a heart attack at 40 or something worse!!

  • Aziza

    on May 6, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    Once your eating habits do not affect your health in a negative way, then you’re okay!

    I think food controls me, more than I control it. Now where the heck is that willpower?

  • Geoff

    on May 6, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    To answer your question: We are responsible for our own choices and decisions in life.

    But we are very fragile creatures and extremely prone to being manipulated by people with cruel intentions. Advertising firms are experts at targeting our basest desires; their singular goal being convincing you to buy their product.

    This is often accomplished by declaring that your life is not good enough the way it is. That you need a product to make your life complete. We’ve all fallen for the tactic at some time or another, and I doubt any of us found “completion” after buying some new skin cream or a flat-screen television.

    The conscious mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. However the subconscious mind takes in everything. This concept is part of the reason we are drawn to movies, television, and stories; there are certain underlying meanings in everything you watch – we call this ‘subtext’ or ‘theme.’

    Some people don’t realize they are receiving these themes, but they receive them on a subconscious level nonetheless. That’s why people love movies, and some of them don’t even realize it. Great films are more than mere entertainment, they teach valuable lessons that are often not grasped on a conscious level.

    There is a flip-side to that coin, however. Our subconscious minds are often exploited in order to make us feel a certain way about ourselves and the world around us but people who do not have our best interests at heart.

    But at the end of the day, each of us is responsible for the actions we take. However, having said that, I feel that it is important to identify where and how we are manipulated by external stimuli, therefore lessening their impact upon our psyche.

    Wow.. this turned into quite the off-topic discussion. I apologize for that. This is what happens when I get a day off! 😛

  • thomas

    on May 6, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    I got a glass of milk and a stack of chocolate chip cookies and settled in to read your blog. 🙂 Such is life.
    That’s the way the cookie crumbles. 🙂

    C’est la vie rhymes with Sullivan.

    Merci beaucoup

  • BOUROUX

    on May 6, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    Hi Allison.
    My relationship with food is different. Over the last 15 months, I lost almost 20 pounds. Lose weight become a little worrying. I had to take tests to make sure I was not physically sick. All this began with my desire to eat better and be healthier.
    What I changed in my diet is cereal with high fiber psyllium (Guardian of Keloggs) that I take every morning. I must admit that I do not really care since I’ve really never had a weight problem. At 140 pounds , I hope to maintain my weight. The secret is to stop eating before being satisfied. Exercise is an essential element in the equation of the weigt. When we eating a little more, we must exercise more to keep the balance.
    The key of success is to find healthy food that you will find delicious and sports that you love to practice.
    I think you are a gorgeous woman, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with indulging now and then.
    Take care of you.
    Thanks for sharing with us .
    Claude.

  • Beth

    on May 6, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Personally, I’ve don’t think I’ve ever had a ‘really bad’ relationship with food. When I was younger I used to eat so much crap. These days I’m slightly more aware of what I’m eating and I do have a healthier diet than I did say two years ago. I’ve always felt pretty lucky that I’ve been blessed with a fast metabolism because I never seem to put on much weight, if any. If food tastes good, I enjoy it until I’m too full to enjoy it anymore. I don’t feel too guilty over that type of thing.
    I never have.
    Although I have found that once I get used to more healthy foods, sometimes when I go back to something I used to love it’ll actually make me feel sick. Like once I actually went without ice cream for like six months. I’m not joking. Then one night I had it again and I was actually sick in the middle of the night because my stomach just wasn’t used to it anymore.

    In terms of media influence, I usually find myself ignoring a lot of that stuff. Not because if I pay attention I’ll care to much but because I just don’t really care in general.

    I’m happy being the way I am and I hope you are too Allison because you’re amazingly beautiful inside and out.
    You’re such a gorgeous woman. Please don’t sell yourself short of that.

  • Silvia

    on May 7, 2009 at 12:18 am

    Hi Allison,

    You ought to try to have a very good relationship with yourself, Allison. Everything else is neither good for your body nor for your soul. How to get this? Well, I’d say try to love yourself with all your strengths, weaknesses, preferences and tics resp. obsessions. For this is all you, the human being Allison Mack. However, this also might turn your strange and twisted relationships to others or other things into good.

    About eating… Well, I personally can’t say that I love eating. I actually just do it because I have to. Bad habit, I know. Yet I have to admit that there’s one exception… I really love carrots! Me and carrots, that’s a good combination 😉 , however, if you still have a pot-belly as you mentioned in your 26th birthday-posting you probably should try a colon cleanse. Your pot-belly will be history afterwards. 🙂 I recommend the homeopathic way.

    xo
    Silvia

    PS
    If you wanna know more, just ask.

  • Robin

    on May 7, 2009 at 2:43 am

    There are so many pressures on each of us to look a certain way,even on us men as well as women, just from magazines, film and television.

    Having said that, there is much more pressure on girls and I pressume so much more on actresses to look “perfect”…what ever society deems this image to be.

    One of my own personal failings is my constant feeling of not being anywhere near the image I wish to be, which is a such a waste of time because i ought to be much happier in my own skin.

    I actually feel a lot of guilt over this, why?, because I am so lucky, I’m healthy and capable, employed, have great family and friends.

    There are so many disabled, people with birth defects or burns and scars who are so much braver and stronger than me who actively take part in this World.

    Shame on me for dwelling on such self pity!

    But the truth is I an such a shallow person, can I really say that at least part of the reason I watch films, television shows or singers isn’t because they are good looking and beautiful looking..of course not!

    Sorry folks for going off topic and for the length of this post

    One of the many pleasures in life is eating great food, I love eating, as long as we have a varied diet, treating ourselves every now and again is one of the joys in life!

    I really do believe that genuine beauty is within each of us, yes looks can attract us, but how we act,how we feel, our thoughts mannifest themselves in our physicality and reveal our soul ..I continue to hope there is more to me than this outer shell…blimey heavy thoughts eh.

  • Gnome

    on May 7, 2009 at 5:03 am

    I don’t know if this is a coincidence, but yesterday I had a ” A fish dies by the mouth” moment.

    I just found out, after eating A LOT of it, that I’m alergic to salmon.
    Summarizing: I spent my night taking shots and medication.
    Good for me!!! Yay.

    Anyway…. I just felt like sharing…

  • razzz

    on May 7, 2009 at 5:04 am

    allie!!!!!!!

    i totally know the feeling. but ,

    cheer up! =) indulge yourself once in awhile…

    i hope tomorrow finds you better!

  • Gnome

    on May 7, 2009 at 5:07 am

    BTW…

    I’m on diet now (doctors orders) and on a bad mood.
    No crap food for 2 weeks.

    Da!@#!

  • Puffy

    on May 7, 2009 at 6:37 am

    “…We talked to ten people who’d been diagnosed with an eating disorder; when we asked these people to sit down and look at these photographs of food, they spoke at length about a number of different emotions….And all of the things they said, when we did the analysis, could be linked back to this notion of control. The participants in this study felt very positively about being able to influence the outcome of their eating, or their not eating of a particular food, and the control that they felt they had over their behaviour in doing so, and they felt very positive when they could control themselves. And they also talked about how bad they felt when they lost control, so when they ate too much of something, for example, and then the need they had to regain the control in some way…” Dr Anna Chur-Hansen

    You are a complex, creative and engaging creature Ms Mack. If being thin makes you comfortable, then more power to you. But tread carefully on that slippery slope, because the more you have to focus on controlling something, the more likely it is that the something is really the one controlling you.

  • Silvia

    on May 8, 2009 at 4:39 am

    PS
    If you’re worried about your weight, Allison, you should know this: As soon as you do sports you can’t use the body mass index for the muscles adulterate the result. So actually as a woman of about 1,65m your ideal weight is (165 – 100) – 15% = 55.25 Kg. So as long as you do not go bellow 55 kilos and keep your weight lower than 65 Kg – you’re just fine!

    take care,
    Silvia

  • Netra

    on May 11, 2009 at 11:43 am

    Everything is fine in moderation….I happen to have the exact opposite issue…..I eat and eat and eat all of the time….when I have nothing better to do…I eat…..when I feel down, I eat, when I celebrate, I eat…..such IS life…..I have heard your exact words before…..being able to control SOMETHING…..it’s not healthy……I know with what you do for a living you HAVE to look a certain way..I could not imagine that type of pressure playing on my ego 24-7 like that!!! Do the best that you can, but don’t let someone else’s idea of beauty be YOUR idea of beauty….I am not fat…but I could stand to lose a few pounds….I have gained 60 lbs over the past 5 years…..it plays hard core on my ego……lucky for me I am an Amazon woman from the moon, standing at 6 feet 1 inch….but what I had to realize was that the people that TRULY loved me, could have given a shit less about it!!! The insecurity was only within me…but I did not have to worry about lights, camera, ACTION!!!!

  • Ornella Santilli

    on May 12, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Watching all Smallville seasons I have noticed that you are getting thinner and thinner!!!! Please Allison DO NOT GET OBSESSED WITH THAT IT CAN HURT YOU!!! Stay in that weight please!!! Remember Men like women with a little more of flesh rather than skin and bones!!!
    I am 23 and Iknow what you feel I am really passing through this too!!!!!!!
    BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!
    Ornella from Argentina.

  • coco

    on May 13, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    hola alison,
    this is why i love your blog. so open, and honest…and you voice some difficult issues with such insight and eloquence. it inspires me to do the same, because, if someone in the spotlight can have the guts to do that, be open and honest, even about aspects of theirselves not necessarily seen as positive, then i can do the same.
    and how great would it be, if we could discuss things, such as eating obsessions and the like, without the fear of being labeled or stigmatised?
    i’ve gone through an ‘eating disorder’, and well,i think uncovering eating issues has helped uncover myself… the best journey i’ve ever been on… good luck alison! the ride might not always be enjoyable but it will always be worth it, i kid you not 😉
    xxx

  • Kathy

    on May 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    I am not trying to analyze you from this post, but in past interviews, I always had the sense that you were comfortable in your own skin, and that you were fine being the gorgeous curvy girl you are.

    I also know that you are in better shape now but you still have a cute figure.

    Do not give into the temptation of dieting to look like a stick figure. I admire that you are one of the few actually healthy looking actresses on TV

    So please, do not stress about your figure–you look beautiful the way you are.

  • shannon

    on May 14, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    i struggle with this ALL the time. you are not alone in this feeling – not that that helps…. but baby steps. one day at a time.

  • Bella

    on May 16, 2009 at 7:51 am

    Using food as a means of control is never a healthy thing.

  • Amber

    on May 17, 2009 at 9:44 am

    I understand every word that you are saying, as I have the same daily struggle in my own life. I like to say I eat certain ways to be healthy, but really it was always about control! When everything else spirals, you can always control what you eat and how much you work out! And then sometimes it is easy to turn to food (the over abundance of it) and being out of control when you just give up trying to control your life. I guess the answer is to find a good balance between the two. Eat right, don’t over do it with obsession and over exercising, and eat crap every once in a while! I guess I’m still trying to find that balance. Hopefully I will one day. I hope you find it too.

  • Patriot

    on May 22, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    I can see you hate excercising and love to eat.
    You have to learn to love what’s good for you, and take out the things in life that destroy you: overeating.

    Make the best investment for your health, your appearance and your carrer: GET A PERSONAL TRAINER AND TONE YOUR BODY.

  • tn_tank

    on July 3, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    the choice of eating what you love, is up to you, you are always in control…
    eat what you like, and then burn it off later
    thanks for sharing 🙂