So I know when I am struggling with something when I eat all the time.
Today and yesterday have been days of consumption, days of indulgence and decadence. Do you know that I have such a strange and twisted relationship with the food I eat? I have a strange and twisted relationship with myself, so obviously that is going to show up everywhere, but really? The things I choose to consume and the reasons why I consume them are so NOT about health and wellness.
I am totally obsessed with staying thin and in fact it is the one thing I focus on when anything else in my life is in turmoil. I think I feel like I am in control when I do that. Like when I feel totally spun out and crazy I can look to food and have the option to decide something in my life that is purely up to me. I like this feeling. If I prove this to myself, then I get to believe that I have some semblance of certainty in my world; some order within this chaos.
I don’t know, if it does exist, I don’t think it has anything to do with my eating habits.
Oh my; tired, full, and a little emotional.
Such is life.