Have you ever felt those moments in life that seems like benchmarks? Not that there is anything crazy happening in the moment, just all of a sudden you feel a shift in yourself. Like you feel yourself grow up?

Well, that is how I am feeling right now. I am sitting in the airport in Vancouver, BC waiting to board onto my flight to Prague and I just feel different. I feel more responsible, more mature. I guess more me.

This is an experience I have had before, one I treasure, where I find I settle into myself a little bit more. I have spent the last 8 days doing an amazing course that is essentially an unbelievable workout for my introspective self. And although my heart and mind are tired and sore from using them so much, I feel the blood rushing to both in a way I have never before felt.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for learning, growth, and just human beings in general. Why am I here? I have no real clue. But to exercise each minute with as much presence and joy as possible will be a good place to start exploring. I am amazed by what we can build and develop within ourselves when we are gifted with the aid of thoughtfulness and study. Last week I saw the Dalai Lama speak and I was inspired to look at what I believe a teacher is. The conclusion I came to is that we are all teachers, teaching in every moment. But there are some special people who seek to dedicate their lives to teaching and upholding peace and humanity above all else. I have numerous friends like this in my life now, and hearing the words of the Dalai Lama and really digging deep to explore me, where I come from and where I am going I am able to identify the definitive moments in my teacher/student relationships in a way that is so very moving.

I am grateful for compassion, communication, patience and evolution. I hope to one day be as much of a teacher to another as my teachers have been to me.

And that being said, my row has been called 🙂

ciao for now.
xo
a

Add yours Comments – 39

  • Susana

    on May 16, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    omg Allison that is so freaking amazing! I hope you have an awesome time in Prague you are so lucky to be going :). & wow when you said all that I felt you being sincere with yourself & us :). See another reason to adore you, I want to feel that in myself yet I don’t think I can or will be able to in myself. I don’t think I am strong enough to do it sadly

    I have been struggling with alot of things these last few months of my life ever since I started College & I have never felt so alone, I hope one day to feel like you do right now Allison I think that is so amazing, to me that would be an incredible experience within myself & maybe the people around me, seeing as I am from Utah & I am bored most of the time Ha! I think I should start doing something in my life that is actually worth something because I feel as a 17 year old I don’t have much to grow into, yet I have all these amazing opportunities surrounding me. Thanks for this Allison you always make me think about myself in ways I never have haha

    & as always take care Allison be safe & have an awesome trip 😉 Can’t wait to hear about your experience over there & maybe some cool photos of the stuff over there

    Take Care,

    Susana

  • Ruthie

    on May 16, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    Yes! Every moment is our teacher, every person, every experience. I believe you have been to many already and will continue to be a teacher in your life! It’s your heart to see others grow too. I for one am very moved and inspired to read about your personal journey and aspirations. Godspeed to Prague!

  • Aziza

    on May 16, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    Your blogs are absolutely amazing Allison. I have learnt more from you than I have learnt in my 2 decades years in a classroom. Learning doesn’t end when you leave high school or college, when you don’t have to spend hours after midnight in the library. It’s about sharing ideas, insights, interaction, like opening your minds to the simple things- total awareness. Ignorance isn’t getting a C in a course, it’s shutting out what you fear hurts your position when it instead maybe offers different perspectives. Now I see how funny this is- I was walking with my friend Alana and this guy rings the bell on his bike and I shift just to let him pass and he still ends up ramming his front wheel on the back of my knee. Ouch. I apologised to him but he was rude and I was so angry thinking- “oh come on and a string of mental f words” (sorry), but I realised that okay maybe it’s my fault I shifted the wrong way or maybe it’s his fault because he could, you know, have at least rode his bike on the grass away from that narrow lane but it really comes down to being so blindsighted to your own routes that you may fail to see how you may collide 😛 destructively with others. hee hee.

    Enjoy your stay at Prague honey and tell us all about it.

    Take care of yourself.
    xoxo
    Zizi

  • Aziza

    on May 16, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    Hey Susanna, good luck with college. I have a friend who started college when she was 17 and she was able to adapt easily and I’m sure you will too. Just remember to be focused and choose the right set of friends who aren’t only concerned with getting ahead but who understand that working together with each other brings a better sense of satisfaction than scoring first class honours.

  • Dick B

    on May 16, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    Have a good trip. I hope you continue to learn as you go.

  • Jessica_M

    on May 16, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    You are very lucky!! I hope you have a great time in Prague and that you continue experiencing as much as you have. Enjoy every single minute and have fun!!

  • Jade Ruby

    on May 16, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    As I was thinking about what I wanted to say here, the thought occurred to me that I need to feed my long term memory again. I’m gonna have to write that down. 😉

    Happiness is that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you read Allison Mack’s latest blog. Good for you Allison, have a safe trip and a wonderful experience.

  • ShinyStarlet

    on May 16, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    I love that right now as I lay on my bed, with my dog at my feet, you are in a plane over the Atlantic Ocean. There are so many of us in this world and at any moment someone you know, or in your case, admire, could be sharing the same air, the same longitude and latitude. Wild.

    I agree that we are all teachers, but it takes someone special to make it a career. This is something I struggle with. I am a nurse and have been for 16 years. I am a great nurse, but I find that the newbies don’t have, or share, their passion or compassion for the human being. I want to go into teaching, though I’d need more schooling. Which requires money and time and around and around I go.

    Eventually, I figure it out, as will you.

    P.S. I am also an actress. And I have learned from watching you. I admire how you listen and respond to your impulses.

  • Beth

    on May 17, 2009 at 12:09 am

    I get what you mean about feeling like you’ve grown up more. I just found out some pretty devastating news and I don’t know whether I feel more grown up because I found out or if feel like I have to be more grown up in order to deal with it.

    I recently read in one of my school books that a good teacher will find a way to make any method of teaching successful, whereas a bad teacher will find a way to destroy it. I just thought I’d throw that out there.

    Good luck in Prague.
    Have a good flight.
    xo

  • Lydia

    on May 17, 2009 at 12:16 am

    Good for you Allison.

    I’ve been through an intensive introspective time myself recently and it’s a wonderfully empowering feeling to come more into my own, to become more ‘me’.
    I’ve found myself overwhelmed by gratitude for my life and it made even more determined to live my best life and be the best person I can be. It’s not always easy but, it’s worth the effort!
    I believe in my dreams and in inner strength!

    Continue and enjoy your journey!

    Have a great time in Prague.

  • Susana

    on May 17, 2009 at 1:06 am

    Hey Aziza thank you so much thats very kind of you :), Yeah I feel so old now that i have started College at 17 lol, fresh out of high school, I always thought that was cool since I graduated on my Junior Year of High school but now I am kind of stressing in ways I didn’t know I could, I feel very depressed alot of the times & alone 🙁 but I do feel like I am going somewhere I don’t know where yet haha but somewhere. & yeah I agree I need to choose good friends, I have had many friends who have backstabbed me so beinc cautious is in my nature now lol, I am lucky to have my wonderful friends that I have now & hope like Allison to have many more that are inspirational :).

    I have a long LONG way to go but I feel like I will accomplish that at least I will try my damndest lol.

    Thanks again hon 🙂

  • Dream_Walker

    on May 17, 2009 at 1:19 am

    I agree, aint life colorful? Its almost beyond comprehension how much is out there to learn. Everyday is new adventure if we only let it be. That sayed i dont understand people who dont thrive for more, who are happy to be part of grey mass :/ You on the other hand a class of Your own Allison, i also dont know what You shall become, but i like what i see so far and am interested to see where we all shall evolve to, i hope we can all embrace humanity 🙂
    P.S Prague?? wow thats a long trip, another 1220 km and You can stop by my place ill offer Ya cup a tea 😛 Peace, DW

  • Carles

    on May 17, 2009 at 2:12 am

    Have a nice voyage Allison, and enjoy it.
    I am glad you can experience a grow up moment from a positive experience. Frequently the bad experiences are that make one grow up more, less for me.
    Your optimism is contagious, I feel better any time I read your blog.
    Tell us your experiences.
    Welcome to the old continent.

    Take care. Carles

  • coco

    on May 17, 2009 at 2:21 am

    allison i love your blogs, glad you started writing again!

    and about wanting to be a teacher, the way we lead our lives, and how we choose to act, teaches more than anything else.

    i’m pretty sure we all have taught others, and have been taught without even realising it.

    and you know, you’ve probably taught us quite a few things through this blogging thingy 🙂

    goodmorning from London!
    xx

  • David Hayes

    on May 17, 2009 at 3:32 am

    I feel the need to start focusing outward, not inward. I need something to care about so I can get outside of myself. Being involved intensely in something is the best pain killer there is. Being out of work right now gives me no financial excuse to create. Instead, I have to deal with chores that force me to be ultra-aware of how little people consider the golden rule in their daily lives. I have to pick up the pieces … the waste products people leave behind when they plow through their lives without being responsible. The effect on me is that I desparately don’t want to know what I this experience forces me to know. I want to hire people who know and don’t care, but I can’t afford to do that. I want to walk away from it and believe in a shiny ideal again, but I can’t do that either. So I rebel against the work instead of focusing on it and realize what others have told me for years — I am not physically well. People used to ask me if I was dying or if I needed some cough medicine and I wouldn’t know why they were asking. It would be because I was unable to breathe, choked up and feverish but oblivious because I was totally outside myself and into my work. Now that I ca’t displace myself in that way, I feel every ache and pain and am way too conscious of my physical symptoms — symptoms that doctors always tell me to live with. I need to get outside myself again because being in here is torture. I need to go off flying with Clara Kent again — soaring away to other worlds or finding the strength to deal with this one.

  • Robin

    on May 17, 2009 at 3:36 am

    Experience itself is a teacher, if we “allow” ourselves learn.

    Each of us have people who inspire and guide our own journeys.
    It’s why it is so important that each of us takes responsibility in how we conduct ourselves.

    Each of us teach and inspire someone else even if we are not aware of it, not just by what we say, but in what we do each day.

    As you mentioned a few days ago, ego and pride can be a driving force both positive and negative in helping us learn or stopping us from learning.

    I do it myself, it is easy to quickly dismiss an idea from a person younger or less experienced, yet with a little more humility we can gain a more varied mix of thoughts and different viewpoints.
    It’s a bit like stepping out of own “individual” viewpoint and look at the World through other peoples eyes, which hopefully inturn should make each of us more patient and considerate…maybe that’s one of the reasons why people take to the acting profession!?

    We just have to listen…and say “does anyone have any ideas?”

    Hope the flight went well and have a fantastic time in Prague, a beautiful city, and all the best with the “Crossed Wires” project.

  • Avitable

    on May 17, 2009 at 4:46 am

    Have a good time in Prague. You should do some photoblogging while you’re there.

  • Lohengrin

    on May 17, 2009 at 6:01 am

    “I know that I don’t know” (Socrates)

    A right open mind and the humility to admit our “ignorance” is the way “to learn”.

    I think that we learn continuously, every day, from the other people and, at the same time, we teach to them. But what?
    We teach what we are.
    So it is important to have positive moral valus to transmit; therefore it is basic the choice and the search of good teachers (like Dalai Lama obviously).

    Choose good teachers to be a good student. Be a good student and you’ll be a good teacher.

    Have a good journey,
    ciao ciao Allison, buon viaggio!!

  • Kathy

    on May 17, 2009 at 6:04 am

    First, good luck in Prague and have a safe trip!

    And second, I like what you said about appreciating the teachers in our lives, and the people we seek to emulate because we admire the example they set.

  • kris

    on May 17, 2009 at 6:25 am

    “To teach is to touch a life forever.” I can’t remember where I read that, but it stays with me throughout my years.

    I love ‘benchmark’ life moments. The way they feel to me is like feeling that my whole axis of existence shifts to point in a different direction. It’s as if I’m running in one of those clear hamster balls and have gotten stuck in a corner. Then somebody picks it up with me inside and turns it around so I can take off in a new direction…so cool to feel that way!

    Have a wonderful time in Prague…pictures please! 😀

  • jennygirl

    on May 17, 2009 at 6:35 am

    Have fun in Prague! I hope you have a good time doing your show!

  • Irene

    on May 17, 2009 at 6:40 am

    First of all, I think it’s great that you’ve reached this “benchmark” in your life. I think I touched on something simular yesterday. For me, it feels like a spring board to bounce off of now into the next season of my life, now that I found my footing.

    I have a question though; Is this constant self inventory (not that it’s a bad thing- I think it’s a good thing) a way to be aware of your internal pallet as an artist? Like if you know where certain emotions are located & how to access them when you need them, it becomes easier to comunicate as an actress?

  • Jesse

    on May 17, 2009 at 6:59 am

    Hi Allison

    Prague in the Czech Republic seems like a great trip, safe trip and I hope you learn and grow in your experience there. Ummm

    -Jesse

  • Joe

    on May 17, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Be still and know…..
    I’ve had great teachers, I use to thank God every day for them.
    but the most amazing thing happened when I put them all away and stood before God and insisted He teach me himself. I’m forbidden to say what happened, but beyond amazing….

  • Smallvillekent

    on May 17, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Allison, Have a safe happy trip to Prague. Hope the play is successful and keep on learning. Peter

  • Irene

    on May 17, 2009 at 8:51 am

    by the way, I’m kinda jealous that traveling is part of your “job”, but I also think it’s cool that you get to broaden your resource pallet with more color!

    You also give me a reason to check out whats on the web about progue, just knowing your out there- I can sorta meet ya there via internet. lol Have fun! You gotta tell us all about it when you get back, or while your there! What is the most unique thing you experience/see while your there?

  • Ornella Santilli

    on May 17, 2009 at 8:51 am

    I wish u the best in your trip!!! Have fun and meet someone special!!!!! Enjoy life!!!
    LOL!!!!

    Orne.

  • Coco

    on May 17, 2009 at 9:01 am

    Hi Allison,
    guess what ? You’re already a kind of teacher!!
    Have a nice trip in Prague and don’t forget to buy wormwood^^^^

  • Raquel Emanuele

    on May 17, 2009 at 9:10 am

    Wow, really fantastic everything you write here, you is quite different from other artists, I think why you admire and why you are the darling of Smallville.
    xoxo

  • Raquel Emanuele

    on May 17, 2009 at 9:16 am

    In love no one can hurt anyone, each is responsible for what they feel and we can not blame the other so … I felt hurt when I lost the man for whom I am in love … Today I am convinced that nobody lost nobody, because nobody has one … That is the real experience of being free: take the most important thing in the world without owning it.

    by Paulo Coelho

    ps: sorry, my English is bad, but I love Paulo Coelho is a Brazilian writer and is very good, I advise reading the book “the manual of the Warrior of Light.”

    xoxo

  • Amanda N.

    on May 17, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    I hope you have a safe and wonderful trip to Prague.It seems you are very excited to begin this new chip in your life.Allison you have been an amazing teacher to myself through these thought provoking blogs you post daily.I will always enjoy that deep philosophical side you have and choose to share with your fans.I know you will do awesome in Prague with your theater company.I wish the best of luck to you.I know with this new experiance you will grow not only as an actor,but as that much more of an incredible being.I am excited for you,I can’t wait to hear the outcome of this next journey you have taken.Do good over there and enjoy yourself.

  • william

    on May 17, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    cool! have a great trip!

  • MarilyneL

    on May 17, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    You’ve are a constant teacher to me! 😛 Have a greaat time in Prague, keep enjoying learning!

  • BOUROUX

    on May 17, 2009 at 11:45 pm

    Hi Allison.
    Sometime, we lives with ourself like two strangers. It’s normal that we had strange impressions. After 8 days of introspection, the true Allison Mack is back with all connections for a new beginning.
    Have a nice trip and lives joycefully.
    Bye

    Claude.

  • Beth

    on May 18, 2009 at 1:22 am

    Coco makes an excellent point.
    You are an amazing teacher to me.
    You taught me that life is beautiful at a time when I needed to hear it most.
    Thanks Ally.

  • Silvia

    on May 18, 2009 at 1:31 am

    Hi Allison,

    To reach the point you suddenly feel more mature is quite usual at our age. I had this too. It’s not that I didn’t feel sort of adult before, it’s just like I reached the point of real adult maturity. We were the young adults before – still growing up, even if we already felt adult somehow. However, all things come to an end and if this feeling lasts you’ve become really adult. After you’re development (form child to real adult) is finished, you can start to grow in another way – making experiences to the utmost, achieving wisdom.

    Some of us reach adultness and wisdom before others because they’ve made maybe not more, but severe experiences. Hence, they needed to become adult much sooner in order to handle those happenings. Wisdom is not a privilege of age – it’s only achieved by experiences. Although some blessed ones amongst us carry some wisdom within their soul from the very beginning. That’s one of several reasons why I believe in reincarnation.

    I’ve got a question for you, Allison. Instead of asking “Why am I here”, you ought to ask yourself “What would be if you wouldn’t be here/exist?” Maybe this clip gives you some clue: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zm-gO8QbupA

    My answer:
    – I think we’re all here in order to make a difference – whatever difference this might be. I don’t rely on the fact that if I wouldn’t exist somebody else would be here and take my place. Even though we all might be exchangeable in some way, there’s at least one part of us that’s absolutely unique and unexchangealbe.

    The everlasting circle of change… I bet one day you’ll be that kind of teacher you want to be, Allison.

    take care,
    Silvia

  • Tori

    on May 18, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    You are a great inspiration to us all. I enjoy watching you on Smallville and I look forward to you new movie. Your blog was a wonderful discovery. I have watched you on television but your blog is new to me.

    Enjoy you trip and best friend. Laugh deeply and embrace your time because I know it will seem to go very quickly!

    I do understand what you mean by the “benchmarks” of growing up at different points of your life. You are actually aware of it the moment that it happens and you have to smile to yourself because of the realization within you of what is occuring. It is a beautiful thing.

  • Brittany

    on May 18, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    Allison, you are very much a tecaher to me, to all of us. A guide and a role model aswell. You have taught me so much with your posts, about you, life, humans, deep thinking, exploring yourself, everything! I thank you so very much. I hope you have fun in Prague!
    I recall having those moments you speak of.
    Have fun!
    BrittXOXOXOXOX

  • Silvia

    on May 19, 2009 at 8:28 am

    Hi Allison,

    To reach the point you suddenly feel more mature is quite usual at our age. I had this too. It’s not that I didn’t feel sort of adult before, it’s just like I reached the point of real adult maturity. We were the young adults before – still growing up, even if we already felt adult somehow. However, all things come to an end and if this feeling lasts you’ve become really adult. After you’re development (form child to real adult) is finished, you can start to grow in another way – making experiences to the utmost, achieving wisdom.

    Some of us reach adultness and wisdom before others because they’ve made maybe not more, but severe experiences. Hence, they needed to become adult much sooner in order to handle those happenings. Wisdom is not a privilege of age – it’s only achieved by experiences. Although some blessed ones amongst us carry some wisdom within their soul from the very beginning. That’s one of several reasons why I believe in reincarnation.

    I’ve got a question for you, Allison. Instead of asking “Why am I here”, you ought to ask yourself “What would be if
    you wouldn’t be here/exist?”

    My answer:
    – I think we’re all here in order to make a difference – whatever difference this might be. I don’t rely on the fact that
    if I wouldn’t exist somebody else would be here and take my place. Even though we all might be exchangeable in
    some way, there’s at least one part of us that’s absolutely unique and unexchangealbe.

    The everlasting circle of change… I bet one day you’ll be that kind of teacher you want to be, Allison.

    take care,
    Silvia