Hello there wonderful world of supporters and such!

As I am sure you have seen and guessed these last few years have been years of intense growth and change for me. I have been desperately grasping at proverbial straws in the forms of projects and concepts and companies and ideas, searching externally for the lighthouse flame that I thought would guide me to a strong understanding of me.

I feel it is important for me to address this with all of you at this time because I am seeing how my flea-like way of jumping from addiction to another, in the form of tasks, while on my search for a sense of self has directly affected all of you and my relationship with you.

I feel like my follow through is inconsistent and my transparency in regards to my commitments and exchanges is not clear either. In seeing the Dalai Lama speak last month, he pointed our focus at the very integral importance of transparency in regards to building any sort of honest, compassionate, and ethical world.

So here goes the clear and honest truth (not that I have been lying, just non communicative) with respect to everything that has been going on in the last year or so.

ALICE AND HUCK:
My first adventure into the independent feature world. Having never had the nerve or drive to develop anything like this before, my experience in making this film was epic and life changing. I realized so many things about the type of artist I want to be as well as the type of artist I am. I began to see the gaps between the two states and how I could potentially grow into the image I so desperately wanted to be in. I looked to all of you to learn this lesson and each of you so generously donated your fiscal support as well as your thoughts, words, and energetic vibes! I honestly could not have done this without you!

Where are we now? We have premiered at all the festivals we are going to be premiering at and are in the final stages of putting together the copies of the film to send out to our amazing sponsors! So don’t worry sponsors! The project you so wonderfully supported is coming your way and you will be able to hang on to it forever, if you want!

JUICY PEACH:
Juicy Peach was the first project Kristin and I jumped into as a team. And boy have we learned a lot about where we want to go and what we want to do with this process. We literally jumped in, putting the cart before the horse and began to raise money and identify ourselves as something we so were not, yet. Hmmm, funny I am seeing a pattern of pride vs. reality coming up a lot for me in this respect. Our intention was to build a business centered around funding the arts through grants and community. Now, here we are one year later, with a wonderful fund of money waiting to be distributed at our will to a project we believe in.

What is missing?

Well, the foundation we intended on running this grant through. We were impulsive, and rather than stopping to look at the details that needed to be in place in order to start a project like this, we just started it. But, how else do you learn how to do anything than by simply trying. In learning to walk you fall and in learning to grow and learn, you fuck up.

So not that this has been a major fuck up, but definitely something worth rectifying. We are moving away from the concept of Juicy Peach right now, leaving the idea in the idea box while we shift our focus to building our production company, our careers as actors, and our humanitarian pursuits (Kristin with Girls By Design and me with, well, I am still sorting that through). This leaves us with an issue. The monies we have raised, the exchanges we have made with all of you who have invested in this idea, and where to go from here.

So after much deliberation and discussion, Kristin and I have come up with a few options we are wanting to throw your way.
Here goes:
1. We could refund the monies to those of you who contributed to the building of this project under unfulfilled pretenses. If this is the path you are wanting to take our PayPal account has the necessary information to reverse payments, as needed.**

2. If you are still digging on supporting our mission we are devising a structure we will utilize to distribute a “gift” in the form of a monetary donation to a project all of you donors will vote on with us. Kristin and I will send out more details on this tomorrow, but we will go through the submissions and narrow down our top 3 choices which will then be presented to you to vote on and choose the project you would most like to support!

So option 2 is still very much in keeping with the Juicy Peach vision, the main difference is that it will be a “one off” gift rather than a consistent and growing grants foundation.

More to come with details, numbers and dates tomorrow, but this is simply the first step in clearing up any misconceptions we have been responsible for creating in our lack of clarity, follow through and communication!

Wow!
That was a monster!

Those of you who are interested in the refund let us know asap (**see below for instructions) so we can start to sort through how much money we will have for the gift! If we have not heard from you before this Wednesday June 24th 2009, we will assume you are still cool with being a part of the gifting process of Juicy Peach!

Thank you so much for your patience with us on this journey through self discovery and philanthropy!

With warmth and affection,
Allison

**To get your refund, please email info@juicypeach.org with the transaction id from your paypal receipt. If you do not have your paypal receipt, you can find the transaction id in your paypal account.

Add yours Comments – 40

  • Rainer

    on June 19, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Hey, Allison

    Wow , yes that was a monster. 🙂
    I have a question of you could only reply.. When we have the chance to see Alice & Huck ? And about Juicy Peach…
    i can’t say much about. have read it, don’t know it, very confusing to me as my English is not good 🙂

  • Amanda

    on June 19, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Thanks so much for addressing this. It speaks volumes about your character. It would have been easy to let it go. Instead, you and Kristin are taking personal responsilibity for the situation. Such a rarity these days. And, quite honestly, it’s refreshing to see someone in your position be so transparent and not take the easy way out.

    As for Juicy Peach, I have been curious about what happened. I think it would be exciting to see who actually receives the grant money and what they do with it so I won’t be requesting a refund. 🙂

  • Jade Ruby

    on June 19, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Partnerships can be the agents of change.
    It’s good to see you and Kristin realizing the difficulties; however, not just giving up.

    I really want to see Alice and Huck though, theater or DVD. I guess anticipation is part of the overall process. 🙂
    Keep On Keeping On!

  • Grayson

    on June 19, 2009 at 11:03 am

    Allison,

    Have you ever heard of The Haven Foundation? It’s a foundation set up to help artists who have been injured or disabled, so they can continue their work. Stephen King became a bigtime supporter after his accident, but I feel it is a really great cause, and something that Juicy Peach can take a few notes from (or use the money for that, should the mood strike…I’m sure Mr. King would LOVE to have an actress such as yourself on his side, too).

  • Beth

    on June 19, 2009 at 11:13 am

    I’d love to see Alice and Huck!

  • Solti

    on June 19, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Yes, I think the value of honesty in all our human relationships is the one of the most amazing gift, what people can give to another people. So Allison: Thank you for addressing this story. And I can’t wait to see your creativity in Alice&Huck 🙂 !

  • Jenny_1982

    on June 19, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    I can’t wait to see Alice&Huck!

    I’ve been wondering what ever happened to Juicy Peach.

  • TheatreGuru

    on June 19, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    “searching externally for the lighthouse flame that I thought would guide me to a strong understanding of me.” Allison, I think you’re looking for Christ 🙂

  • Lily

    on June 19, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    No refund needed and, I continue to support Juicy Peach.:-)

    You continue to amaze me and, I wish you good luck and wonderful experiences on your artistic journey.

    Thank you for explaining it all.

    Have a great weekend.

  • IreneT

    on June 19, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    Allison, I am so glad “yall” have owned up to your mistakes- cool beans! It makes me respect the both of you as people not just artist.

    As for the your project, i wish I could have donated so I could vote and say, “Don’t give up! Press Forward”
    Also, I would love to volunteer, to help yall organize stuff. I would keep my services completely on the down low-

    Just want to let you know- I think people want to help yall fullfill yalls vision in more than just money.

  • IreneT

    on June 19, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    I’m serious. I’m here for yall. I have a non-profit of my own. I have experience in this sector. Email: rfm_icantu@hotmail.com, or me_myself_and_irene05@yahoo.com

  • Kathy

    on June 19, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    Allison,

    I appreciate your honesty regarding Juicy Peach and that your plans didn’t quite work out the way you had orginally planned.

    Like I said in my email, I am going with Option 2 and the distributing of the money as a “one time” gift.

    But I am wondering when we will be able to purchase a DVD of Alice and Huck? I hope it is soon because I am very excited to see the finished product.

  • Smallvillekent

    on June 19, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Allison, Thanks for being honest with all the people that donated. I have always thought of you as a beautiful and great actress and now I see you as a great person also. Looking foward to seeing Alice and Huck. Best of luck to you and Kristin with your production company.

  • Robin

    on June 19, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Thanks for the updates Allison,

    You really come across as such an honest and truely genuine person.

    I wish you the very best of luck in all of current and future projects you are involved in.

    It is a real honour and a pleasure to be a part of any process in helping upcoming artists in expressing their vision.

    Thank you

  • surlyoldcat

    on June 19, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Okay, I’ll add my two cents. I say stick with it and move forwrd. Form what little I know of you, you do have a certain peculiar drive about yourself. Refundingthe funds doesn’t sound like you. It’s like you’re surrendering before the first shot has been fired. Ever forward, if you it’s worth doing, then do it, and do it well. Make this old feline proud of ya.

  • Ruthie

    on June 19, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Allison, once again, thank you for your vulnerability and authenticity. Even as you look for that lighthouse, your own light shines as a beautiful example to so many. I honor that. It speaks volumes about your character and desire to grow. These are opportinities to learn and I would say you are a diligent student of life…and will do well. Thank you for reminding me at so many needful times what it’s all about. Namaste bright soul.

  • Ruthie

    on June 19, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    I you know this already, but the true light is internal. Another good reminder for myself tonight. wow, I love this blog.

  • william

    on June 19, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Allison, your just great! you and Kristin are such honest, good, caring people not just actors, thats truly wonderful. thanks for taking the time to explain and dont beat yourself up to bad, just a plan that fell through thats all. love all your projects!! HEY ONE MORE REASON ID LOVE TO MEET YOU AT COMIC-CON!!!
    william:)

  • eddiewulf

    on June 19, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    i saw a vid that show some products of juicy peach it showed an autographed photographs of alison and kristin at $40.00
    is that the actual juicy peach ? because i looked to juicypeach.org and it only sayed SOON! and thats it

  • MarilyneL

    on June 19, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    Wow! so many answers to my questions really, thanks! and best of luck with Alice and Huck!

    Now, I’m totally supporting you guys with Juicy Peach, I think the whole concept is great and honest !;) I still have last year’s calendar, awesome montages:D

    I still have a question though, 😛 what’s up with the college students community survey? 😛

    thanks 😀

  • ChelseaLanae

    on June 19, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    Allison, I admire your integrity and your honesty. I find you to be a truely genuin person and that just makes me admire you even more as an actress.

    On another note, I agree with TheatreGuru’s above post. Based on some of your statements in your blog, it does seem like what you really should be seeking is a relationship with God and He will guide you to a greater understanding of who you are through Him. He is the Lighthouse :). Anyway, I will just leave it at that.

    Thanks for the update and have an amazing weekend!

  • Brittany

    on June 19, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    Haha. Hey Allison. Excellent Monster Blog! Thanks for clarifying these projects. You and Kristin are totally awesome! I look up so much to you guys. Say Hi from me! Lol. A random fan.
    Take care!
    BrittanyXOXOXO

  • Dream_Walker

    on June 20, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Wow whattan insight, thanks for sharing Allison. First it seems we’re both little alike pushing forward with projects not really knowing how the right way is done, but its the effort and the purpose that matthers i reckon. I really wish You keep going and enlighten us its very inspiring ;P As to Girls by Design that really is admirable how people who can help others in need, i bow down – Respect Kristin! But Allison what to You sort out what Youre giving back? This blog here, this page, these ideas sharing, thoughts, everything – this is what You give to us, like candlelight of hope in midst of all the blackness 🙂 In todays world people need to come together more and put aside differences, Peace, DW!

  • Jade Ruby

    on June 20, 2009 at 2:18 am

    TheatreGuru Says:
    “‘searching externally for the lighthouse flame that I thought would guide me to a strong understanding of me.’ Allison, I think you’re looking for Christ 🙂 ”

    Oh Jeeze,
    The difficulty that many have with Christ, is that they are unwilling to upgrade their respect. Yes Christ is with us today, but are you truly willing to love your neighbor as yourself?

    Buddha was first, you can’t change that.
    However, even though Buddha was first, Christ was anointed.

    And so. . . Buddha will sit with you.
    Christ (Who we assume to be Jesus of
    Nazareth), will sup with you.

  • Avitable

    on June 20, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Everybody fucks up. It takes a big person to admit it so clearly. My respect for you has increased even more now.

  • Karen

    on June 21, 2009 at 7:11 am

    It was an honour for me to donate in the first place, and it will STILL be an honour to continue doing so!
    No refund needed for me!

  • VaPaola

    on June 22, 2009 at 9:50 am

    Now i fully understand the “refocusing” on your MySpace…

  • Rachel531

    on June 22, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Thanks Allison for clearing things up on this. I too, was waiting to hear new things about Juicy Peach. I give you major props for having the cajones to even start such an endeavor, and then to admit when things don’t go quite as planned and to own up to it. Just think, you’ve attempted something that most of us haven’t even dreamt of doing yet. So, as long as my investment is still going to benefit a worthwhile artistic cause (whether it be ongoing or one off) I’m all in. Thanks for letting me be a part of making this world a bit more appreciative of the arts, even if all it involved were my nimble fingers tapping away at a keyboard. 😉

  • Electra

    on July 17, 2009 at 7:36 am

    Dear Allison,

    That’s a feather in your cap and I am proud of you. I admire and congratulate you to your courage of making this entry. Yes, it needs courage for telling the ugly truth. Not that you were lying, just as you said, but there were things you kept under your hat instead of communing. Sometimes it was quite clear that there was much more under the surface. Well, at least for me.

    I have to admit that I’m none of your donors yet for it didn’t make sense to me. Why? Because the idea of Juicy Peach was in limbo for me – just sort of hanging in the air – unfinished. There was something basically missing in my opinion. I thought of questioning you about this, but I am not that type of person who interferes all the time. I have faith in others and believe that they’re able to solve their businesses on their own. The concept of Juicy Peach was half-baked and haste makes waste. You’ve lost the sight of this in your rush and so you failed. Yet, you’ve won for you have the gift of self-knowledge which allowed you to recognise the truth.

    Don’t ask other people to tell you what action they want you to take. You have to find your own way. Do what you or you and Kristin think is the right thing to do.

    Quote: “well, I am still sorting that through”
    – Exactly, you’re still sorting that. That’s the point. If I were you I’d take a break before going about a new concept/project like Juicy Peach. During this break I’d put my focus on just being an actress and put projects just as foundations, companies or humanitarian pursuits aside for a while. I’d think about my reasons – why I need to be part of a foundation, company etc., what I want to achieve with those, or how long I want to be part of it. I’d question myself out down to my bones about my reasons and motives. Besides I’d get my things sorted and if I really need to be part of such projects, I’d take my time to find the one big thing I want to go for with all my heart and accomplish the whole idea before taking off.
    So, if you really need this – and I mean “to need sth.” and not “to think to need sth.”, then do it, but step by step, except you want another haste to waste. If you manage to find this one big thing for you and Kristin – or for you only – and realise it as a complete picture, it’ll be a great pleasure and honour to me to become one of your donors.

    Love,
    Electra (formerly Silvia)

  • Jade Ruby

    on July 17, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Electra Says:
    “Don’t ask other people to tell you what action they want you to take.”

    There’s that cliche again, “Two heads are better than one.” Of course it’s ok to seek out advice about how to handle the situation. You seem to assume that it is an order rather than another option, alternative sparked by someone else’s perspective.

    “So, if you really need this – and I mean ‘to need sth.’ and not ‘to think to need sth.’ ”

    I think perhaps you mean want rather than need.

  • Electra

    on July 18, 2009 at 3:59 am

    Hi Jade Ruby,

    I usually don’t explain my replies, but since there seem to be some misunderstandings, I’ll clarify those sentences you addressed.

    Quote: “I think perhaps you mean want rather than need.“

    – I mean exactly what I said/wrote. I wrote “need” and I do mean “need”. What I wanted to say is that it’s not enough to think to need something. One has to know that one needs something. I think I expressed this quite clear, at least the way I meant and understood it. Something we want is not necessarily something we need and vice versa. It’s about needs within the meaning of need and not in the purpose of the will.

    Quote: “There’s that cliche again, “Two heads are better than one.” Of course it’s ok to seek out advice about how to handle the situation. You seem to assume that it is an order rather than another option, alternative sparked by someone else’s perspective.”

    Well, I don’t care about clichés and no, I don’t assume anything. I just expressed my opinion. It’s a nice and democratic way Allison and Kristin chose. Yet it seems to me sort of unfinished as the whole concept. That’s why I think the two of them should go for an option by their own choice. I put my thoughts into the words that express and reflect my thoughts. Those words felt right for me for what I wanted to tell Allison when I wrote my reply and it still feels right for me.

    Regards,
    Electra

  • Jade Ruby

    on July 18, 2009 at 10:55 am

    Electra Says:
    ***

    Hi Jade Ruby,

    ***
    What’s up Electra,

    ***
    I usually don’t explain my replies, but since there seem to be some misunderstandings, I’ll clarify those sentences you addressed.

    Quote: “I think perhaps you mean want rather than need.“

    – I mean exactly what I said/wrote. I wrote “need” and I do mean “need”. What I wanted to say is that it’s not enough to think to need something. One has to know that one needs something. I think I expressed this quite clear, at least the way I meant and understood it. Something we want is not necessarily something we need and vice versa. {*Ooo, there’s a chiché!*} It’s about needs within the meaning of need and not in the purpose of the will.
    ***

    That’s just it. People get really confused on ‘wants’ and ‘needs’. There is truly not much that we as humans *really* ‘need’. Especially now that we have evolved enough to be technically proficient here in the West ,to satisfy those ‘needs’ for the majority of the members of our culture. So now, if you stop and assess the situation that we are living in here in the West, you can realize that using the word ‘need’ does not fit the cultural factors any longer. So now it is up to the individuals here in our Western culture to remember the difference, and say ‘want’.

    ***
    Quote: “There’s that cliche again, “Two heads are better than one.” Of course it’s ok to seek out advice about how to handle the situation. You seem to assume that it is an order rather than another option, alternative sparked by someone else’s perspective.”

    Well, I don’t care about clichés and no, I don’t assume anything. I just expressed my opinion. It’s a nice and democratic way Allison and Kristin chose. Yet it seems to me sort of unfinished as the whole concept. That’s why I think the two of them should go for an option by their own choice. I put my thoughts into the words that express and reflect my thoughts. Those words felt right for me for what I wanted to tell Allison when I wrote my reply and it still feels right for me.
    ***

    Options. What, do you have to be the President of the United States before you can accept the advice of someone you hired to give you advice, and then make it into your own decision?

    ***
    Regards,
    Electra
    ***

    Take care,
    The Jade Ruby

  • Electra

    on July 18, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    It’s after 11 p.m., Hello Jade Ruby,

    It’s obvious that we have different options and I highly doubt that we’ll come to an agreement. I dissent from your position for I’ve experienced and seen too much that shows just so much the opposite of your point of view.

    Acceptance is essential for a community/blog. I completely disagree with you, but I accept your opinion and way of expression. I am not confused with wants and needs. I wrote “need” for I meant “need” and whatever you say won’t change this. I mean what I wrote exactly the way I expressed myself. It is quite clear in my mind that there will always be somebody who disagrees with me, but I accept this for it would be boring if everyone would share my ideas.

    I don’t know why you don’t want to accept my position or way of expression. It rather seems to me as if you’ve been attempting to force your opinion/expression upon me. I am neither a puppet nor interested in fighting. Hence, I call it a day and ask you to leave me alone.

    Thanks and good night,
    Electra

  • Jade Ruby

    on July 18, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Electra Says:

    “I don’t know why you don’t want to accept my position or way of expression.”

    I accept it, I don’t agree with it. I have another point of view.

    “It rather seems to me as if you’ve been attempting to force your opinion/expression upon me.”

    How come? Because I didn’t remain silent?

    “I am neither a puppet nor interested in fighting.”

    Interesting that you would choose those particular words. . . I am truly taken abashed that you would think that.

    “Hence, I call it a day and ask you to leave me alone.”

    No problem, but if you ever want to change your mind. . .

    The Jade Ruby

  • Jade Ruby

    on July 18, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    P.S.
    Dear Electra,

    Just a reminder that the comments were aimed at Allison.

    Take care,
    The Jade Ruby

  • Electra

    on July 19, 2009 at 8:42 am

    Dear Jade Ruby,

    That’s why I always think before speaking or writing. However, you shouldn’t reflect your own failures to others. You responded to me by name, Electra, and commented my posting and word choice/expression. But thanks for finally referring to me as Allison. After all, we share the same date of birth. 🙂

    I won’t read or answer to any further comments of yours on this subject. As I’ve already said… I don’t want to argue for I like Allison’s blog and don’t want to take part in turning this community into a battlefield by responding to this dismissive interact towards me.

    Read your entries and think about how you’ve communicated in and between the lines for your replies seem quite aggressive to me.

    Cheers!
    Electra

  • Jade Ruby

    on July 19, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Fellow traveler Electra,

    Yes I’ve analyzed what was written, and you are a true pessimist, just as I am. However, the comments made are still for Allison to examine if you think I was dismissive towards you at that time or not.

    Take care,
    The Jade Ruby

  • Jade Ruby

    on July 20, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    I think I’ll relate one of my most satisfying experiences in my humanitarian pursuits.

    Three years ago while I was heading out the door of my apartment building on my way to work, one of the residents on her way in stopped me and said that there was a resident’s meeting in a couple of days, and she thought that I should attend, so I said ok. This took all of 20 seconds. I like to get involved in community matters, and she knew that I have been active as a resident over the years.

    So at the meeting, they go through resident business, and we have a moderately lively meeting. Then our pro bono attorney makes an announcement that the resident board would like to start a Section 3 action (government mandated local hiring) for the new housing development we were getting across the street (my former building’s property site), but they needed a volunteer to spearhead the initiative, could someone be that volunteer. There was complete silence. I’m like saying to myself, what? nobody? so I said, yeah sure, I’ll volunteer.

    So I hook up with the board and our attorney, and subsequently we asked our local CDC to help us get local residents hired for that construction project. Now I’d known the Executive Director of our local CDC for about 10 years at that time, as she had worked with us as residents ever since she first arrived in town to take her position, and I’ve worked with her organization as she has planned the development of our community. She contacted the general contractor, and they were willing to foot the bill for our search.

    Next, we (the Executive Director of the CDC, the President of the general contracting company, the President of the resident board, and myself) interviewed three organizations to find one to serve as the Section 3 coordinators. After we decided on which organization we thought would best serve our needs, the general contractor personally contracted them to help us (the residents).

    The organization we chose was well experienced in this type of process, so we were able to start right away. We advertised for the openings that the contractor was willing to hire (7), and we got 80 responses from the community residents who wanted to work in construction. We then scheduled a standard construction exam, and chose the top 30 highest scores. Then we interviewed those 30 people, of which I interviewed 25 personally while the Sec 3 coordinator took notes. Then came the hardest part, I had to give my personal recommendations to the general contractor, independent of the Sec 3 organization’s that we hired; so the president of the firm had two lists of applicants to make his decision. I gave him 9 names for the 7 positions. Of the seven that he decided on– all of them had been on *my* list.

    Well, that was just the beginning, and though the development which I spoke of is finished and now occupied, my baby the Sec 3 Initiative is still alive and kicking after my 20 second conversation three years ago. And more construction jobs for residents and locals have currently been filled, and are waiting to be filled.

    And that is one of my own humanitarian efforts that has come to fruition, and I wouldn’t trade that gratification for anything.

    Take care,
    The Jade Ruby

  • 3tesla

    on December 5, 2009 at 6:26 am

    Integrity: a great word, a great personal attribute and Allison and Kristin appear to have an abundance of it. I am inspired once more, so many thanks.