Another year has past and I have a fresh age; one with no mistakes in it, yet. Well, none that seem too huge anyway! I have already said I was going to do something and not done it, left my pajamas on the floor of my bathroom, and had nasty thoughts about a friend of mine who was doing something I wanted to do. But hey, I am human no?
It’s funny. I remember being a little kid and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, “When I get big, I will have it all together, I will know who I am and I will feel beautiful and confident all the time.”
Well, I am definately big now, in my late 20s in fact, and I am still waiting for the confidence and the beauty! It is so funny, I really thought I would hit a certain age and be “grown up”. Grown up? What is that? Like all of a sudden you don’t play, you don’t explore and ask stupid questions. You know what you are doing and where you are headed. How does that happen? When is it that we decide enough is enough. No more fun for you!
I think I will change the rules. Play all the time.
That is what this year will be about! Playing and relating.
I want to be a better friend, daughter, sister this year. I want to know that the most important part of my life are the people I relate to. The people I love and the people I have a strong distaste for (my mom always told me not to use the word hate!) I am beginning to coagulate as a person. I love that word, but it is true, that is how I feel. I was a runny yolk, bits of me going every which way, not knowing what to stand for, what is important to me. But this is starting to change. I am putting myself (albeit slowly) into hot water and consquently I am hardening, solidifying. Understanding what I want to stand for and why.
It is a cool and interesting process for sure.
I like. I like.
Happy Birthday to me.