I have always been attracted to women’s issues and the struggle of women in our world. But for most of my life I have been at a loss in my understanding and experience of what it is to be a woman. That is, until I was introduced to the women’s movement, Jness.
The foundation of Jness is friendship. Women in Jness have a beautiful opportunity to build and deepen their relationships with themselves and others through the guidance of a profound educational curriculum run by small groups of women who meet weekly to share and explore questions and concepts. The process deepens their understanding of their inner world and experiences and as an effect, many women begin to have a greater understanding of the secret, honest world of femaleness.
When I found Jness, I saw that my struggles as a woman came from a lack of understanding. I never felt I fit into the conventional ideas of femininity, nor did I want to.
And I lived my life conflicted. Feeling a certain type of frustration in being a woman – hating the perception of “young girl” or “beautiful flower” and never, ever feeling satisfied with the way I saw women represented. But then also feeling the conflict of fully diving into the “feminist” movement as I saw it existing. I didn’t want to spend all my time “raging against men” or “fighting to be heard” – something felt unnatural and angry in that approach and I didn’t think that was the answer either.
But I couldn’t see another option. Another way. A way to blend the soft, sensitive emotionality of “femininity” with the strength, potency and power of “feminism” – they felt bi polar…. I felt bi-polar.
And consequently I felt threatened by women. The internal confusion and frustration I felt manifested itself in the way I related withallwomen. I saw them as I felt inside myself: complicated, quixotic, and unpredictable. I felt I couldn’t trust women. This was a secret I kept – and tried my best to resolve this by joining every women’s campaign I could as an attempt to prove I didn’t feel this way.
Yet, I felt like an imposter. And the more I involved myself in the movements that existed the more confused I felt. I wanted deep relationships. I wanted to be able to sink into the women I surrounded myself with without feeling any sense of rejection or self-protection. But for some reason, I just couldn’t.
So when Jness was introduced to me as a movement for women, with the mission to change the face of femininity and redefine what it is to be a woman today, my ears perked up. A collective inspiring a community of strong, authentically empowered women to own themselves in a way that has never been seen or understood before? It sounded like the perfect blend of what I was looking for!
So I took the leap and enrolled in a weekend workshop and within the first few hours I knew I had found my people.
Many years later, the curriculum continues to guide me through the maze of my inner world shining light on the dark corners of my psychodynamic revealing confusions and insecurities that have hindered the expression of the authentic, empowered woman I have always sought to embody. I embrace so much more of myself now and am beginning to understand what it takes to grow into the vision of the woman of our times.