She tries to be good…. My face hurts from smiling. I think I make it harder than it needs to be. I've started to notice that many people I meet seem to be striving to be good in some way. Or maybe that’s just me projecting my internal monologue on all the people I see (of course, scientifically, that is absolutely what is happening, but can’t get away from projection now, can we?). But genuinely, outside my own issue, I look at all the faces on the tube and the people at the convention and it seems like we are all little 4 and 5 year olds just trying to be good. Trying desperately to make sure we are doing the “right” thing - the “acceptable” thing. Sometimes I think I should have been a nun. Immaturely I identify purity with them - the ultimate commitment to “goodness”. From the outside looking in, it seems the answers are laid out for them and their lives seem so much less complicated than mine. They have a book to follow word by word, they don’t need to think about what to wear every morning and they don’t have to worry about how they plan their day. Talk about simplicity! But then I came across this beautiful short film by a writer/director I am in love with right now, Tatia Pilieva, and my bubble burst. Nuns are humans that struggle with the same human things we all wrestle with. Like me, and maybe some of you, there are several nuns out there that are striving to be good too. Even Mother Theresa grew weary. So I am humbled again: my struggle isn’t special. I am not alone. Just like the rest of the world I too want a lollipop, a pat on the head, and a guarantee that I will be ok.