“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When after a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on- series polygamy-until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise, is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just wont adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as an accomplice. Instead of vowing to honour and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”
-Tom Robbins

New beginnings, one door closes and another opens. Painful?
Yes.
Exciting?
Yes.
Scary.
Fuck yes.
Necessary?
Indeed.
Love? What the hell is it?
I am trying my best to figure it out.
Perhaps it is a mirror for us to reflect all of our most beautiful memories.
A painting of sorts, each color a part of us we wish to hold and embrace at all times.
The most favored part of our bodies, the upper thigh, the belly button.
The pace to be kissed, only on the outside looking in.
A four letter word, destined to be used for cussing, swearing, promising, obligating, upholding, embracing, ordaining, calling, questioning.
Looking farther than oneself. Knowing more than just oneself. Understanding something other than oneself. And so, infinitely deepening the understanding of oneself.
Love?
What the fuck?

“Unconditional love comes when the relationship shifts from wanting to be validated to wanting to be known. and both people must not only want to know the other, but want to be known themselves.”
-Iris Murdock

xoxo
a

I am considering teaching for this very reason. I left that evening feeling so inspired and exhilarated; feeling so clear about what I am doing and why.

It was such an awesome exchange for myself and the people I was working with. I think that should be challenge to al of you for this week. Teach someone how to do something you are good at; see how it feels and what it does to your relationship with the thing.

Beautiful.
xo
allison

I will share a little story with you! I was walking through a neighborhood in downtown Vancouver and this particular part of town does not have the best reputation. In fact, I think at one point in time it had the highest rate of HIV infection and heroin addiction per capita in North America. Give you a little bit of a picture?

Now because of this there are many people without homes on the streets and my general assumption when I am walking through these streets is that I need to put my head down and walk quickly. It’s “dangerous”. Now is there some truth to this? Absolutely! I don’t want to act like a moron and walk down the street the way I would my parents neighborhood, but I also want to be sure that I don’t begin to look at the people around me as less than human.

So, I am barreling through this block just trying to get from one stoplight to the next so I can relax, and I see a man crossing the street to come towards me, and I freeze. I put up my guard and immediately thinking he is going to ask me for money. Not one minute after my steel-wall of “safety” was firmly in place, did this man say to me, “I just wanted to tell you I like your dress.”

Done. No, “Spare change miss?” No, “Fucking rich bitch.” Nothing but a sweet comment from another human being.

I saw a wonderful Tibetan Monk speak a few months ago and he stated (now I am paraphrasing so bear with me) that, “The problem with the world comes from the fact that we don’t trust ourselves, therefore we don’t trust each other. We spend all our resources building stronger locks and bigger walls to lock ourselves in.”

So, when does it end? When does the fear caused by prejudice become so debilitating that we forget to live our lives? When does our fear of death become so powerful that we kill our selves prematurely out of an attempt to elongate something we aren’t even utilizing? Our time here on this earth is precious. We get one go at this.

Now I am not saying to be ridiculous, as I said in previous blog posts, it’s all about balance, but I challenge and urge you to look at where you prejudices lie and attempt to challenge or reverse them. See where you ride an invisible horse shrouding yourself in the white sheet of assumption.

It is a really interesting experiment.

Ciao
Allison

by Bruce Jenner

I find this quote so incredibly inspiring! I realized that I have only ever really done what feels comfortable in my life. I have never put myself in a position where I’m doing something that I have never done before. I have done this knowingly because the idea of looking like I don’t know what I am doing scares the heck out of me. After realizing this, I feel that limiting myself is ridiculous!

I am just shooting myself in the foot because… how can I ever grow if I never challenge myself. How can I ever know the depths of me if I spend my whole life skimming the surface and doing what is comfortable. So, I have decided to branch out. I will be directing episode 20 of Smallville this year, and I am so intimidated! It’s silly. I know that I have eight months to prep and that I have the most amazing crew of people around me that will do everything in their power to help me make something awesome, but getting past that ego that drives me has been a huge challenge. Ignoring the voice inside my head that is screaming “You have no clue how to do this!” has definitely been a challenge.

As I start to do more and more work on building this skill in myself, the voice is starting to soften and I am actually really enjoying the process. I liked this quote so much because it talks about “abolishing you fears” and “raising your commitment to the point of no return!” There is something so empowering about that phrase! So I am raising my “commitment level to the point of no return”!

I have now announced it to all you lovelies and I can’t go back on my word. It’s that silly pride thing that is actually helpful in this situation I am taking on something so foreign but I have made a strong decision to enjoy the learning process! Who knows, maybe I will become a fabulous director and just have two careers! Woah… let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Thanks for all the support you provide! I love hearing from you every week. You have no idea how much joy I get out of reading your thoughts on this website!

Ciao to all
Allison

ps… Oh yeah! And check out Miss Tabby’s site, allisonmackonline.com. She is doing some really awesome stuff for my birthday! I am collecting funds for a foundation that I am starting and any support is so so so appreciated!