You know those days….

You know those days when you just feel like it would be a good idea to be anyone but yourself?

Like you wake up in the morning with a laundry lis of things to repair, redo, rewind? Those days when you think it might be best to disappear and start a new life, only this time with no intimacy? No closeness? Just a way distant existence where no one gets close enough to see the cracks in your sidewalk.

That was this morning for me.

I got in my car and decided to drive. On my drive I saw my friend. He was out for a morning walk. Usually I rush to say hello…This morning I wanted to speed by. But he caught my eye and waved me over. It would have been rude to accelerate away, so I made a u-turn and drove over to him.

“Good morning,” he said sweetly.

I melted.

Tears streaming down my face he held my chin and told me he was proud of me. Then he wished me a good day and kept walking.

A little later I had a virtual meeting with a very special group of friends I have met with weekly for over 2 years. We are all a part of the women’s movement I speak about, Jness. we have been though births, deaths, weddings, break-ups, and some pretty impressive arguments over the last 24 months and yet we still meet every wednesday morning at 8am EST.

I felt raw, apologetic and challenged. I was late to our meeting and the ladies were sitting quietly in my honor when I arrived.

Without punishment for my tardiness they asked if I was alright, then proceeded on with the meeting.

My fears were addressed, inadvertently. My fears were addressed in the form of love. They did not pressure me for answers nor ask me why I was so weepy. They simply held space for me to be vulnerable and upheld love.

Now, after the call, on my train my to NYC, I feel filled up. Wiping the dirt of my knees I can see that we all fall down, and sometimes all you need is a loving group of friends to stand by you as you figure out how to pick yourself up.

I am so grateful to my dear friend, Keith, on his morning walk and my beautiful friends Julia, Sara, Kim and Nati. Your gentle but unwavering hands really held me up this morning.

I am so wealthy in love.

xo,
a

  • Andy Wozniak

    I had one of those days too. Where i didn’t want to be myself like today but it seems like i wasn’t the only person who felt that way. As i felt so bad falling out of grace till i realize i can’t go about being angery at something i can’t change. It’s not just how you fall down but its how you get up that matters i learned which is from you Allison and my late Mother. I thought of my late Mother and i just suddenly woke up crying till i talked to someone about it and then i felt better and realized that she wouldn’t want me sad and angery, I’m not perfect and i know your not either.

    People tend to forget that your as human as anyone else. I realized that i am not some loser as other people projected in there heads. Love is the wealth that i can live with but of course money is in important but people are still unhappy even with money.

    We all have fears, doubts, and at times we all down. We just have to find away to overcome these odds that enter into our hearts and souls. I’m glad that your friends are were here to help you as you have help lifted up my spirits after realizing that i wasn’t the only one having problems.

    I am and will always have your back Allison as a true fan. Be well and be safe as well, your very important more than you realize Allison. Don’t ever forget that no matter what anyone tells you.

    XO

  • Jen

    Thanks so much for sharing this! This year has been so full of downs for me that I forget to look for the up’s. When I do though, I see them in the people that I’m blessed enough to be surrounded by, just like you pointed out. Thanks for that reminder, thanks for Daily Words of encouragement, and thanks for being real!
    -Jen

  • Jeremy

    I’m glad you got the love & support you needed today (even though you might have wanted to hide in a hole)! Now, here is a quote for you! 😛 “When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.” -Edgar Watson Howe

  • Rusty

    I have been having rough couple weeks too, having just lost my mom after a couple months fight with demencia, now finally at rest.
    So surprised all the love and understanding of friends, coworkers and even the card companies,
    Love is found in the strangest places, at the weirdest times 🙂
    Good luck and lots love in your endeavors Allison 😀

  • A beautiful text. Always good to have friends.

  • Karen

    I LOVE SO MUCH ALLISON ?

  • Robin

    Allison,

    As ever your writing is so raw, honest and genuine. Everyone of has days when we wish we could be somebody else, to escape our lives and start afresh.
    Whatever in your life has made you feel this way, i ‘m sure you will overcome and always remember that you have your family, friends, colleagues and us your fans.

    In your work as an actress, you have held a mirror to life in iur times and given each of us so much joy, inspiration and hope.
    In your writings on your blog you have created this community, asked us questions and made us think about our own lives.
    Each new day is a start of a brand new adventure…

    Take care,

    Robin

  • Craig

    Yes, sometimes I feel that urge to escape, and to just say f**k it. When I get down, I look to my friends also, and I can cry. Everyone needs a support Like that. Even if we don’t want it. To feel that vulnerabliity, is challenging, and 100% worth it. Accountability is a big part of most groups I’ve been a part, and I noticed I was hardest on myself. Other people mostly just supported me, and only held me accountable when I needed it. However, I want my life, and love it. Not everyone is part of a group of friends who love, and support them. I have support like that, and I chose to embrace my life one step at a time even when my life feels like it’s to hard. I remember what I have right in this moment, and I go on.

  • Snakebite

    “Sometimes life is about risking everything for a dream no one can see but you.”

  • Jack

    Allison, I’ve felt the way you did every day since the day my best friend died in my arms after a tragic accident in 1986… I’m so glad you were able to find the strength I could never find and conquer the fears I could never conquer… Stay strong and be safe…

  • Vishal Dewitt

    Allison you are such a true soul. An honest heart. Angels walk beside you.

  • David Gonzalez

    Life is about knowing to except. Im married with little girl and a boy that will be joining family and we will be blessed to have him on 11-6-14. Life can be very stressful and we all have responsibilities but we have to except them and understand them because they can have a negative impact on friends and family. I know life is hard but if you except your daily responsibilities being a husband a wife then it will have less negative impact on oneself. Life is stressful so I enjoy it my girl 4 yrs old she reminds me to stay focused by putting my family first. Enjoy life in order to live life you have to love to live.

  • Gdubleyoo

    Why is it so hard to bestow upon ourselves the love others bestow upon us?

  • Beth

    I have had many days like that this year. Although less because I was unhappy with who I am (however there were traces of that) and more because I wasn’t doing things I was enjoying, and therefore felt little to no purpose upon waking each morning. Luckily I have had someone who has been there for me everyday and I’ve recently begun a new era of my life that’s a little more exciting.
    All the best.

  • Beth

    With respect to performing, I’m doing some research on ‘acting techniques’. May I ask, Allison, if you have a preferred style of acting?

  • Gdubleyoo

    You don’t stop playing with your toys when you get old, you get old when you stop playing with your toys.

  • Andy Wozniak

    I’m glad you haven’t given up acting. I’m glad your doing something that makes you happy.

  • The power of imagination is something indescribable. Very good video.

  • Leonardo Dias

    Hey Al, I growed up seeing you and Tom acting. I want to say to you, has a few years, you guys was my super heros, every child needs her super heros and you guys was mine. You gave me strength to imagine, dream with a future that i was capable to do anything and today I think that I’m, you gave me force to imagine. I loved the video and your blog, it’s nice know you out the cameras, being yourself. Congratulations and thank you again.

  • jbrande55

    You were the best on “Wilfred” , the show was diminished without you . Your last appearance was only one short scene , but it was great .

  • katalina leighfield

    Our imagination is the connection to our inner child. The only limit to our imagination is our mind. Without courage to ‘think outside the box’ we are incapable of having creativity in our life. We can’t begin to contemplate how others use their imagination but we know that’s how they will live, thinking, imagining and creating! =D

  • LanceN

    The open mind is the only one worth having. You can, sadly, find closed minds everywhere. I found them in engineering early on and it really depressed me. It can be lonely being a free thinker. I am glad you found like minds to work and grow with you. Keep being you and being free Allison.- Lance

  • SpiritandSoulareOne

    🙂

  • Salgado

    Allison, you are a beautiful writer and actress. You are successful and an inspiration. Without imagination we lack innovation. With imagination, ideas take root and bloom into innovation. Thank you for sharing.

    Are you married?

  • I went to the site. Assuming the redirect url is basically the same….. As a former radio news director who has given up on media both as a full time profession and a pass time as an observer due to the lies, deceit and carelessness that’s out there for the truth, i can honestly say i appreciate what you are doing. If only love were considered first when a reporter does a story. Then these things would not be as issue. News is about nothing more than advertisers and ratings. It’s a terrible system. If it was about care for our fellow man, the job to “inform” would be just that. News is nothing but gossip these days. They might as well be known as the civilian paparazzi.

    I have a degree in broadcast journalism, i don’t expect to ever use it again, but maybe you can put a spark back in that fire.

  • Robin

    Hi Allison and fellow fans,

    New ideas and innovation is always scary with nay Sayers and traditionists who oppose change.

    Any new idea is a step into the unknown just by asking “what if?”it might work, it might not but isn’t it all the more exciting trying new things, at worst you take a step back and do something you know with refreshed enthusiasm!

    I wish you the very best of luck in all your new endeavours Allison including Jness & ethical media, I hope you also continue to write ( both creatively and blog), direct & act in various mediums…

    Thanks for sharing your adventures and encouraging each of us.

    Robin
    X

  • There need to be more groups like jness. It’s necessary for these groups to be single-sex in my opinion, otherwise it’d just be another meat market. So although I have the wrong sex organs to belong, I applaud jness. Meanwhile I have those days. Those days when I need to bawl like a disgraced televangelist. Not shy or intimidated I’ve done so at men’s groups. They want to put you out like a grease fire on the stove. They want to fix things. I want to slap them and say, “after you’ve completed 5 surgeries, 38 chemo infusions, are going on 4 years past your expiration date then you get to give advice. Until then…trust me, living on borrowed time is exhausting.” So while I applaud jness, there’s a huge need for such a men’s group where men are taught to leave their toolbox at the door and just listen and accept and love.